The Great Misaduenture

'Twas a notorious voyage.

Draft'd I was bye the Grande Olde Navy

To fight the Japs wyth patriotick brav'ry

I kiss'd me lass for the wone last tyme

Travell'd to California wyth not even a dime

In the haven of herberwe was oure shippe dock'd

Her shape was perfect, not-a-thing to be mock'd

The horne was yelling, 'twas tyme to leave

Such aduenture waiting I couldn't beleeve

The crew was jolly, even Cap'n himself

A fine man he was, the name: "John Delph"

Determin'd, fair and alwayes alert

Knew how to lead, and when to blurt

Just wone bunk alow me slept Steve Doe

A humourous fellow alwayes eager to go

Olde Rick Jenkings beside me on a shift

Shar'd me tast in smoke, a fine man to lift

Many a mate I had, worthy maryneres all

Now resting on sea-bed, had their final brawl

What happen'd, then? Of what kind was their end?

Witnessing it all, this is what I did comprehend:

The course of our voyage was Australian shore

Location: Southern Pacific, I know not-a-thing more

The skie was black; not even stars could be seen

'Twas a depressing atmosphaere; vicious, mean

Unawaringly we sail'd towards the storm's eye

Whenas radar stopp'd working, we knew troubles were nigh

Furious waves were pounding the craft's sides

But wyth them onely engine failures brought despair'd cries

Ineptly drifting in the mercy of drizzling wind

In our metallick prison were we innocuously binn'd

Amyddest the huge lifely monstre that enjoy'd our agony

We idly pray'd God to shrink our misfortunes to atrophy

The daies went bye wythowte the sea calming down

Frustration crept forth, dress'd in deathly gowne

And soon were we to notice, despite the offreing ocean

Not wone water-drop left to drink, nor a saving potion

Our strenths were drain'd, our morales subsid'd

I would've had all me precious mates kill'd

For being able to speak once ageyne

Draught now was forcing me efforts to go in vain

Not wone had pronounc'd it, but we all knew

The chaunces of survival were in few

And, to further encrease our desp'rate misery

We soon were to find we had devilish company

The superfice was shatter'd; arizing from the depths

Came a daemonic form of distort'd appearaunce

Much I did not see, and even less do I remembre

Let alone of how well am I able to rendre

This spawn of utter horrour wyth ententions pure evil

Arous'd incomprehensible mixe of terrour and marvel

I meself was stunn'd, unable to think clearly

Wyth drugg'd eyne I perceiv'd the sight afore me warily

Above all, the horrendous Thing was enormous in size

Swarming tentacles abowt the head, accentuating its vice

Its forbidd'n anthropoid abomination of a structure

Was cover'd wyth scaly, slimy, rubber-like texture

The Thing was colour'd wyth ghastly seaweed-green

Leather-whings at the back; appearaunce far ayond mean

Eyne deep and dark as portals ayond division

Its motion was slow but 'twas carried out wyth precision

The panick soon spread in most uncontroll'd manner

When it began bashing the shippe as wone giaunt hammer

The crew, me mates, were flaying in the ayr

Like weak-will'd rag-dolls in diabolick affair

Many a fine sailour did the unholy creäture devour

Abowt twenty can I verify, but most definitely more

Quight a few disembark'd to the freezing water

To which the Thing react'd wyth amus'd laughtre

Considre me a lucky wone, for abowt me breast

I had found meself an inflatable Mae West

In the surrounding chaos I stumbl'd towards the bulwark

Gether'd all me determination, and left the accurst barque

Weaken'd bye dehydration, stiff'd bye cold

I clumsily stroggell'd amyddest the sea so bolde

Alyaunte sights afore me, alyaunte events behind

Acknowledg'd most certainly I was losing me mind

I then awoke, finding me limbs utmostly numb

Next perceiving a figure chewing a bubble-gum

Aftre it descending to ravings so hideous

I prefer not to reveal imagery notorious

I lay in bed, enjoying the graunted solitude

I was far too weak to express me gratitude

I dwelt in darckness, under the Black Sun

I still was unsure abowt was it all done

The tyme came when I finally talk'd

Soon afterwards I had me fyrste waulk

When I enquir'd abowt the events recently ywent bye

I was told the nigh occurrences were not that nigh

The Warre was over, I soon learnt

We emerg'd victorious, I also heard

What caught me attention wasn't of politicall natuer

But the period of tyme that I had been in leisure

What I was told I did not beleeve

Wythin me it caus'd intolerable grief

What had felt like a few daies at most

Was in fact five years ywent past nos'd

Author's Note

The poem combines elements from H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos and Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem "The Rime of the Ancyent Marinere" in a more modern setting.