Casually Complicated TEam

I remember watching you walk into the room, without a care in the world even though you were clearly the man in foreign waters. The chaos of everyone else slowly started to disappear when I noticed the rise and fall of your chest quicken when everyone else's gaze locked onto your own. 

I remembered thinking, too many eyes, too many sighs, I just wanted you to focus on me. 

As soon as I processed that through my brain, as if our minds were already connected, you looked at me. Your sandy brown eyes locked with mine in the heat of the room, no words needing to be said. My heart didn't waste any time to react to your intensity, suddenly becoming subconsciously aware in my ears as you changed your gaze away for a minute. 

It was a minute, I remember. For some reason, I had the nerve to count the seconds. Weird, I know but with you and I, when wasn't anything not weird? 

And then, you sat down.. Right next to me, in my space, breathing the same air I was. Your eyes searched for mine again and despite our close proximity, I couldn't hear your heart like I heard mine. Was yours going as crazy as mine was? I sure hoped it was.

Before I could even breathe a "What's your name?" or a cute, sarcastic line to make myself seem appealing towards your mysterious persona, you held out your hand, tangled it in mine, and told me  something cute and cool ever so swiftly. The way your voice rang in my ears and stuck in my brain like glue scared me considering you only said a simple sentence to me.

But little did I know, from that day forward, that you would've thrown me into eight million different versions of hell before I was able to realize that you loved me the way I loved you. 

It was weird how you never made it totally clear but at least it was something. It was something close to puppy love but much more than a meaningless fling; and looking back at our past now, none of that seemed to be true to you. It was so easy for you to walk away from someone you claimed you never wanted to lose, someone you claimed was your world and that was your other half.

 It was so easy for you and I envied you because of that.

I remember wanting to be able to be so nonchalant and not have the ability to feel my heart leap out of my chest whenever I heard you sleepily whisper my name. I desperately wanted to be so causal and selfish with others so I could try to gain an understanding on why things were always so complicated with us. 

We were a bunch of things but I knew we weren't crazy.

Together, we were weird, complicated, and impeccably happy but now... it's better that I continue being weird, complicated, and impeccably happy while you start to get yourself together. 

Because believe me, you surely need to. 

:)

Author's Note

I wrote this in one shot so please be brutally honest with me & thank you so much for reading!