Living in Fear

Living in Fear

Unlike many others in my country, I have had the good fortune of being born into a well off family. Not a day in my life have I had to go to sleep on an empty stomach, or miss a school function due to not being able to afford the appropriate attire. Compared to many I live a sheltered life, with three meals a day, a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in, asking for anything more would be shameful considering the plight of my fellow countrymen.

My city in comparison is also better developed and advanced; it is fairly safe considering it houses people of all religion and social backgrounds. Seldom would you find a place not strewn with a healthy dose of trees, bushes and grass. Don’t get me wrong, there are people living below the poverty line, people who have to beg and fight for every morsel of food, but they too are a shrinking minority. The middle class dominates the social structure, mildly educated second generation youngsters and old people reminiscing about older, much simpler times weave the fabric of the society.

It would then be illogical for me to feel in anyway threatened or in danger, correct? It would not be wise for me to panic every time I venture into relatively unfamiliar territories? Going to the cinema should not be complimented with an air of unease?

Unfortunately living under such conditions is something that I have to come to terms with. I live everyday with a cloud of fear and trepidation looming large over my shoulders. Every day that I go out to a friend’s house, I have to look over my shoulder in fear of being mugged by an assailant on a motorcycle. I constantly have to be aware of the people around me, studying their faces just in case they are ready to pull out a suicide vest. This is my life in Lahore, this is a story that tens of millions share with me.

Before going any further, I would like to clarify that the security of the city isn’t as bad as it could be, looking at a wider view of the world there are people in countries who face much first. We have access to a very high standard of education, proper healthcare albeit in selective places and many areas where families can go on a fun weekend.

However, the fear of your own life and safeguarding the lives of those that I care about still looms large. For example, going to watch a movie with my friends to a cinema which is near to my house, can at the worst of times set off a mini panic attack. You never know whether you are going to come out of the movie alive and happy, or in a body bag.

It has been this way since 9/11, that faithful day which changed the way that world viewed Muslims and my country forever. I do not intend to come off as insensitive, but the repercussions after 9/11 have been felt with much greater aplomb by my country, Pakistan. Since the war on terror (an ill fated attempt by the Bush regime to garner power in wealthy oil states) my country is the one that has to deal with most of the baggage. Since this war against extremism commenced, 40,000 innocent Pakistani men and women have died as a result of poorly planned airstrikes and drone attacks. Scores more have been ushered out of their homes to live in barren wastelands, whole families have been uprooted without even the slightest hesitation.

We have suffered immense losses to a war that we did not sign up for or had any business with in the first place. The cherry on top of the humiliation cake came after the assassination of Osama Bin Laden, a leader of the militant group guilty of the attacks on the twin towers. In the city of Abbotabad, a US army team infiltrated Osama’s hide out and killed him. The outrage against the US in Pakistan was immensely misrepresented by the media; it was portrayed as though the people of Pakistan endorsed in the activities of Osama and revered him as a hero.

The reality is not that simple; Pakistan is unquestionably is the only country in the modern world which is vigorously bombed by one of its allies. The country and its people have made immeasurable sacrifices to the cause of the US in support of the war on terror. It was then humiliating and infuriating for the people, that the US would disrespect the sacrifices that the people of Pakistan made to such a high degree that they would enter a ally nation, and carry out an assassination mission without bringing in confidence Pakistani authorities.

The thing which really irks me personally is when people criticize Pakistanis of not speaking up against the terror elements in our country. They sit in the comfort of their homes thousands of miles away, fuelled by government owned media outlets being fed half truths and fabrications. The reality of the matter is that we Pakistanis have suffered, and continue to suffer the brunt of the damage of the war on terror. We are fearful every time we are stuck in traffic after coming back from our jobs; pray silently when a close family is travelling from another city.

Violence only serves to breed more violence; state sanctioned offenses only muddle up an already sensitive situation. It is not difficult to empathize with the family members of innocent people caught in the cross fire. However, it is scary that extreme circumstances as these can drive certain individuals to commit acts which go against every fiber of their being. 

Reviews

[R Smith]

An excellent write Iqbal, you have written very well and the whole thing keeps the attention of the reader, its a terrible tale to hear and I know many people do sympathize with you and Pakistan, its sad when terrorists or governments use you and abuse you in such a way, not everyone in the west or other parts of the world are blind to this, not always misled by propaganda, many of us know the lies behind the stories, I hope that in time we will see peace, God make that time soon.

[Iqbal Mirza]

Everyone yearns for peace and security, hope one day we live in such a world

[Jennie Baron]

I'm so glad you focused my attention on the situation in Pakistan. I echo what Richard said and I pray for peace. World events have made me start planning a new poem. That is, the racial conflict here at home and the frankly stupid political divisions, the Iraq/Syria situation, Israel and Gaza, Russia and Ukraine. I'll make time in my prayers for Pakistan, too.