Coming back

She couldn't believe it
She never expected it
Her heart was pounding
And shock covered her face

He stood there
Staring down on her
His eyes were filled with fear
And she knew he was trying to find a glimpse of hope

She stood before him
Completely speechless
Tears swelled into her eyes
They ran down her cheek

He pleaded with her
To forgive him
To take him back
To love him again

She looked up at his face
Rain surrounded them
Tears ran down her face
And then it happened

She placed her hand on the side of his face
She gently kissed him on the cheek
And then she shook her head and said
"No..."

She walked away and didn't look back
Because she knew if she did
She would fall apart
And give in

Author's Note

Again I couldn't think of an ending

Reviews

[Dream Slave]

Stanza before the last= Power

Overall very very enjoyable, with all the visuals, and all the raw emotion. Don't worry about the ending which you couldn't think about... the one you gave it pretty much gave the piece what it needed... the feeling of saying no, even when you want to say yes, for the sake of preventing something from happening again.

[Alicia™]

I loved how even though she wanted him back, she said no and guarded herself from being hurt again. Great job!

[OT]

this is great!!! you're getting better with every piece for sure - your including emotion, but keeping the consistent subtle flow and form - I like the plethora of pronouns - it makes it seem more personal! nice work!! (and the ending seemed ine to me!)

[Jeff]

Great write and great imagery. I would have ended it on the second to last stanza, but you still did a great job on this piece!

[Calypso]

Wow. Just wow. You're amazing.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

so pretty

[Arsenic Nemesis]

Wonderful, really well written and constructed. The title is spelled wrong, should be "coming" unless it's SUPPOSED to be like that... hrmm, got me thinking already XD Seriously, though, this is wonderful, I love it, keep up the good work!~

[Chelsea]

um the title is spelled wrong
comeing- coming
Other than that very sweet, I can almost see this more as a song then a poem :)

[Geralyn Miller]

Honey, that ending is perfect, do not mess with itIf you compulsively must fix something, correct the spelling of coming in the title. LOL I am so proud of you, you are improving with each piece I read.

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Its wonderful..No need for any modification..!!! Why do you think, it needed an ending..???

Fantastic Job..!!!

Keep Sharing..!!

[G. K. Bostic]

Your ending is fine....it would even have been okay simply ending with "No.." but the final stanza does emphasize how difficult the decision was for her. In the 2nd stanza, the last line is quite long and out of character with the rest. I wondered if you might want to shorten it.... example: (leave out 'and she knew he was') searching for a glimpse of hope. Just a thought.....hope you don't mind.