Darkness and light

The light from the moon shone into my room
But dark clouds covered my heart
The stars twinkled brightly
But only darkness lived in me

People smiled around me
People's laughter surrounded me
But I only saw frowns
And tears

I can hear joyous singing off in the distance
But all I hear are the sobs of the brokenhearted
People dance with delight
But all I can see is their pain and weakness

I see the one I used to love smile at me
But all I see in him is betrayal
I catch glimpses of light
But as quickly as they appear they disappear just as quickly

Author's Note

an experiment

Reviews

[What happened to simple..]

this is the first poem you've given me to read that I really did enjoy; there was more going on, description and contrasts than the other ones where your writing has been sorrowful and sort of plain. The looking inside is nice, the darkness that empowers you here =) xx

[Geralyn Miller]

Living in the darkside are we? Nice images, I am glad to see you looking outward as well as inward.

[Marie Harrison]

Well executed experiement. Lovely!

[KAREN]

A very good experiment!! I could feel the pain as I read!

[Calypso]

Very good.

[Sweets]

It's great how you described your feelings in this poem
Great job on this :)

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a sad tale that the happiness and joy is never truly felt and that the world around is filled with all the darker emotions like betrayal, sadness, loneliness and loss. The flow is a little shaky in place but the thoughts are conveyed clearly and the imagery paints a sad world.

[Blossom]

this is different from your other work. it was good different. nice change, I got hints of longing and other emotions that aren't portrayed as strongly as they are in this poem.

[Sunny Skye]

wow is kind of sad. but its good

[Kelly M.]

Quite sad... but it does show what is sweet and full of light and then you show what is sad and dark.

[Buddhistboy73]

Ok, so there are a couple of errors which disrupt the flow of this poem (shown instead of shone - 1st stanza), and I don't think the final line seems right (maybe a few words too many?)
Aside from that, I think this is a good write, and I love the way you play with the opposites of light and dark....which also have a deeper meaning...and then you reveal in the final stanza the reason for the darkness.....keeping the reader guessing until the end...
Well written...