Simple pleasures

Simple pleasures

A Poem by sarah

Simple pleasures of a small town
Not many people understand them
The simple joys

This small town
So quiet
Peaceful

It's small
I will not deny
But it is home

Everyone asleep at 9:30
The leaves are changing color
The air is getting colder

Children are safely
Tucked away
No harm will come to them here

You can hear young girls
Giggling in the distance
They laugh about the idea of love and romance

No cars on the road
A gentle breeze
It's the little things

The simple pleasures
Of a small town
Sometimes seem dull

But it's the simple pleasures
And for me
That will do

© 2010 sarah


Author's Note

sarah
hey sorry this didn't turn out as great as I had hope so don't hate to much on it. haha

My Review

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Featured Review

First, you have the most important ingredient-RESPONSE! The title is very good. Second, what you wrote is real to others...look how many of your reviews say as much! Third, If it didn't turn out as great as you had hoped, then maybe there is some aspect of it that is not complete.

Many a poet (and some of the most famous in history) would constantly rewrite their poems to try and improve them. The editor of one considerably reputable publishing house reads each poem to establish if everY line of the poem coalesces with every other line and the overall theme (subject, voice, melody etc) of the piece. He considers every WORD as to its appropriateness and nuance and choses only those which form the most complete and unified whole...

One tip may be to try rewriting parts of the poem that don't seem just right to you, KEEPING THE ORIGINAL and then comparing them, or the like. You may or may not know that Emily Dickinson had hundreds of writes or pieces of writes that were incomplete when she died...but then look at what she DID complete! A poem does not have to be YOUR piece until YOU decide it is complete to YOUR satisfaction...YOU are the author of it, the Goddess of each piece, so satisfy YOURSELF!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I live in one of those small towns and being outside when the trees are turning is great.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so sweet! You make a wonderful description here and it makes me smile! I'm sure your town is a great place to live in especially when there's lots of memories there. Keep up the great work!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really sweet writing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

First, you have the most important ingredient-RESPONSE! The title is very good. Second, what you wrote is real to others...look how many of your reviews say as much! Third, If it didn't turn out as great as you had hoped, then maybe there is some aspect of it that is not complete.

Many a poet (and some of the most famous in history) would constantly rewrite their poems to try and improve them. The editor of one considerably reputable publishing house reads each poem to establish if everY line of the poem coalesces with every other line and the overall theme (subject, voice, melody etc) of the piece. He considers every WORD as to its appropriateness and nuance and choses only those which form the most complete and unified whole...

One tip may be to try rewriting parts of the poem that don't seem just right to you, KEEPING THE ORIGINAL and then comparing them, or the like. You may or may not know that Emily Dickinson had hundreds of writes or pieces of writes that were incomplete when she died...but then look at what she DID complete! A poem does not have to be YOUR piece until YOU decide it is complete to YOUR satisfaction...YOU are the author of it, the Goddess of each piece, so satisfy YOURSELF!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem reminded me of a sleepy little...little town in Indiana...just as you described it with leaves falling and everyone partaking in simple pleasures. Great memories.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The simple things in life often give so much pleasure.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A short note on small towns where a lot of us often come from. Its sense of comfort, warmth and predictability is undeniable and they are often missed while living 'island' lives in a big city. Great effort, was securing and comforting to read !!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A simple sentiment, simply expressed. Actually, this is an excellent poem, even in major critic mode, the flaws are small, primarily spelling.
In the title, "pleasure" is missing the final "e". In the second verse, second line, do you mean "quiet" as in not noisy? Sixth verse, first line, It should be "hear". Eighth verse, Last line, "seems" doesn't need a final "s". That is everything I can find, not much at all. Keep this, good work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Even though there are small errors in this poem I just enjoyed reading it. Shows that you don't need anything extravagant to be happy.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"hair?" - "air", "here?" - "hear" :)
I thought this poem was wonderful! I've past through many a town just like you describe and they do indeed have a peaceful and restful feeling to them. Sometimes, as I come across them. I wish I could just not leave.
They are a legacy of an older America. May they live on, for those who need the small town essense to survive.

Great Ink!
Wolfie

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 21, 2010
Last Updated on November 22, 2010

Author

sarah
sarah

CA



About
My name is Sarah just another Sarah, to go along with the millions of other Sarah's hehe anyway umm...I am really bad at spelling C and grammar it's a pain in the a*s so...yeah I won't U review books .. more..

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