First, you have the most important ingredient-RESPONSE! The title is very good. Second, what you wrote is real to others...look how many of your reviews say as much! Third, If it didn't turn out as great as you had hoped, then maybe there is some aspect of it that is not complete.
Many a poet (and some of the most famous in history) would constantly rewrite their poems to try and improve them. The editor of one considerably reputable publishing house reads each poem to establish if everY line of the poem coalesces with every other line and the overall theme (subject, voice, melody etc) of the piece. He considers every WORD as to its appropriateness and nuance and choses only those which form the most complete and unified whole...
One tip may be to try rewriting parts of the poem that don't seem just right to you, KEEPING THE ORIGINAL and then comparing them, or the like. You may or may not know that Emily Dickinson had hundreds of writes or pieces of writes that were incomplete when she died...but then look at what she DID complete! A poem does not have to be YOUR piece until YOU decide it is complete to YOUR satisfaction...YOU are the author of it, the Goddess of each piece, so satisfy YOURSELF!
This is so sweet! You make a wonderful description here and it makes me smile! I'm sure your town is a great place to live in especially when there's lots of memories there. Keep up the great work!
First, you have the most important ingredient-RESPONSE! The title is very good. Second, what you wrote is real to others...look how many of your reviews say as much! Third, If it didn't turn out as great as you had hoped, then maybe there is some aspect of it that is not complete.
Many a poet (and some of the most famous in history) would constantly rewrite their poems to try and improve them. The editor of one considerably reputable publishing house reads each poem to establish if everY line of the poem coalesces with every other line and the overall theme (subject, voice, melody etc) of the piece. He considers every WORD as to its appropriateness and nuance and choses only those which form the most complete and unified whole...
One tip may be to try rewriting parts of the poem that don't seem just right to you, KEEPING THE ORIGINAL and then comparing them, or the like. You may or may not know that Emily Dickinson had hundreds of writes or pieces of writes that were incomplete when she died...but then look at what she DID complete! A poem does not have to be YOUR piece until YOU decide it is complete to YOUR satisfaction...YOU are the author of it, the Goddess of each piece, so satisfy YOURSELF!
This poem reminded me of a sleepy little...little town in Indiana...just as you described it with leaves falling and everyone partaking in simple pleasures. Great memories.
A short note on small towns where a lot of us often come from. Its sense of comfort, warmth and predictability is undeniable and they are often missed while living 'island' lives in a big city. Great effort, was securing and comforting to read !!
A simple sentiment, simply expressed. Actually, this is an excellent poem, even in major critic mode, the flaws are small, primarily spelling.
In the title, "pleasure" is missing the final "e". In the second verse, second line, do you mean "quiet" as in not noisy? Sixth verse, first line, It should be "hear". Eighth verse, Last line, "seems" doesn't need a final "s". That is everything I can find, not much at all. Keep this, good work.
"hair?" - "air", "here?" - "hear" :)
I thought this poem was wonderful! I've past through many a town just like you describe and they do indeed have a peaceful and restful feeling to them. Sometimes, as I come across them. I wish I could just not leave.
They are a legacy of an older America. May they live on, for those who need the small town essense to survive.
My name is Sarah just another Sarah, to go along with the millions of other Sarah's hehe anyway umm...I am really bad at spelling C and grammar it's a pain in the a*s so...yeah I won't U review books .. more..