The proposal

The rain falls
Everything is a blur
Shock crosses his face
As he stares at her face

She rejected him
His proposal
He wanted to marry her
But she had other plans

He rose up from his knee
He had asked her in the rain
Because he knew how much she loved the rain
She found rain the most romantic thing

He had spent weeks planning it
Waiting for the perfect moment
He wrote out what he would say
His hopes were high

But here he was
Wet
And alone...

He loved her
He knew that
She knew that
But it wasn't enough for her

His hopes had been dashed
By only 8 words
"I am not ready for that kind of commitment"

Author's Note

I don't understand people that can live with someone for years, even just date someone for years but not agree to marry that person because they are afraid to be tied down, or they think it will cause to much change. Let me know what u think about this poem I know that traditionally the women informs the guy that marriage is out of the question try to think outside of the box

Reviews

[Rikkevi Rue]

do you want me to critique the poem, or the nature of people? For surely people, especially in matters of the heart, are fickle...unreasonable, fey, stubborn, unkind even...! That said,

In prose your write has impingement because it is so close to reality, like a video of a real event as opposed to a "dramatic reenactment." Real life is harsh, brutal, uncaring...fast, exhilarating volatile. That emotion and the disappointment and heartbreak of rejection are conveyed. Art is the quality of communication...This write communicates, though not warm and fuzzy it gets the message across

[Geralyn Miller]

Perhaps the woman realizes something the doesn't see? I turned down a proposal from a wonderful man, I had reakized he was still in love with his first wife, despite being divorced for fifteen years. Married to half a man is not a good way to live.
A very fine poem, but it is like an iceberg, there is more under the surface than what is seen above the water.

[Adrien Hupp]

this is what happens on so many occasions, all very sad. but it's a beautiful poem:D

[.]

Hmmm... Id say that either the female is a prude and doesn't understand the meaning of compromise. Or the male is shallow and only seeing the surface of the female and isn't valueing her dreams or goals that she has inside. I could see how a female might say no in that case.

Kisses - Ash

[Wolfwind Words]

While this is certainly a piece that shows one of the many proposal scenarios, it is not the one that happens the most often. The marriages that have the best hope of lasting are one's that before the question is ever popped, the answer has already been agreed upon.
Often times for men, they will ask before they are ready because of peer pressure or mixed information coming from the female. In these cases things can turn out flat and the marriage dissolves rather quickly.
Most females i've known that have turned down men, have already made it clear to them that it's not going to happen and it's the males own need for commitment that drives them to ask anyway. With the situation you describe in your piece. I'd say the guy didn't have his facts straight on what the female truly felt for him.

Great Poem with a very committed twist..or lack there of. :)

Wolfie

[nono]

Very nice job, very interesting, and I totally agree with you. Well done keep up the good work!

[Misty Blue Eyes]

you dont hear of many men getting turned down its usually the girls who get told that the men arent ready for such a big jump, even after years of dating....i like the poem