like a bird

another song

i don't know what your thinking tonight
but theres a sea of freedom below you

and your thought just might be to take flight

but theres one last thin i owe you
i owe you this

now be sure to say goodbye
and write my name in your pocket
so when your found they can tell me your safe

though safety might mean that
you went home to meet your maker
atleast you found a little bit of peace
thats all you ever wanted
was a way to escape

to run away from all your demons
and outwit the curse of hate
but you have lost once again
you think your stuck with this pain

and that flight would be the only way
to prove your human
but it's not

i don't know what your thinking tonight
but theres a sea of freedom below you

and your thought just might be to take flight

but theres one last thing i owe you
i owe you this

see,why she chose the bridge
i guess i'll never really know
but i think that she just wanted to fly
before she had to go

one time was all she needed
one last chance to fly like a bird
just to fall to her fate
to cease this never ending hurt
it's been growing with time

and she's been taken to the edge
now her arms are out stretched
and she will fly from this ledge
and i'll watch her fly with my
very own eyes

god,she looks just like a bird
it's such a beautiful disguise

i don't know what your thinking tonight
but theres a sea of freedom below you

and your thought might just be to take flight

but theres one last thing i owe you
i owe you this

one last chance to live
cause a bird is not
such a great creature to be
one wrong move of the wind and
your swept into the sea

but i refuse to watch you fall
i refuse to watch you break
i'll continue holding on
for as long as it takes

im not ready for goodbye
im not ready to part ways
im not ready to let go
or watch you fall to this fate

so just kiss me on the lips
ill breath my life into you
if thats what it takes
then thats what i must do

but i guess im too late
it's not my life to save
i've done all i can do
now its your step to take

but i don't know what your thinking tonight
theres a sea of freedom below you

and your thought just might be to take flight

but theres one last thing i owe you
cause i know what your thinking tonight

theres a sea of freedom below you

and the act has become taking flight
but theres one last thing i owe you
i owe you this
one last chance to live
with goodbye on my lips

Reviews

[Allison]

This is BEAUTIFUL! It's so sad but so wonderful! that last moment she stole to do what she really wanted to do! True story?

[A]

WOW! I was hooked from the very beginning and wanted to see how it was going to end. This poem was amazing! Very well written and very captivating. This piece would make a great song. :)

[Lindsay]

i love the voice of this piece. It's simple, yet urgent and paints a definite picture for the reader. I like the wording, especially the refrain. I really liked this:

"one last chance to live
cause a bird is not
such a great creature to be
one wrong move of the wind and
your swept into the sea"

There are some definite grammatical issues, including the use of "you're" instead of "your" in the refrain. Definitely enjoyed this. You're talented.

[Melissa Rose]

Good message, however I feel like some of it could be reworded, so that the song speaks more for itself. Words are a powerful tool, you just need to find the right ones. My favorite stanza was, "but i guess im too late/ it's not my life to save/ i've done all i can do/ now its your step to take" it really spoke. Keep it up!

[Sarah Marie]

very honest and deep poetry my friend. i can really feel the emotion you put into it. perfectly constructed work of art.

great work.

[gravitylava]

yeah, this is really honest. what kind of music would you put it to? good work.

[lindsay]

This is truly a write here. I felt that it was really honest.I really loved the flow of it as well.

[deeps]

Wow! This is quite the write here. There's alot in this.
Very well written. I like it alot. enjoyable read.

[alan khan]

pretty lengthy but the writing style and feeling kept me interested. nice work.