Legend Of The Dogman

Clara

CREEEAAK! We jumped as the old, rusted door slowly swung open to a dark, cave-like room. "Spot?" I called into the darkness, my voice quavering with fear for myself, my friends, and my dog. "Oops!" Sadie said as she stumbled through the mansion's open door. "It's dark in here." Kaitlyn added, also walking into the house. I took a deep breath and sighed, "think of the dog, think of the dog" I repeated to myself quietly. I've never liked creepy situations, and judging by my friends' uneasy looks, they didn't either. "Does anyone have a flashlight?" I heard Sadie ask from somewhere to my right. "There's an app for that!" Kaitlyn called back, and suddenly a beam of light appeared, illuminating our surroundings. We were standing in the entrance hall of a once beautiful home, but now the curtains were torn and the air smelt of mildew and decay. "Poor house." I mumbled, sad to see something once grand crumbling to dust. "SPOT!" Kaitlyn cried, her outburst pulling me back to Earth. Could it be? I whipped my head towards Kaitlyn's voice so fast I almost gave myself whiplash, I saw Sadie doing the same next to me, but her elated smile turned to a look of pure terror as she faced the creature that was definitely not my dog.

Sadie

Everything can change in the blink of an eye, one, two, three, blink. Just minutes before we had been playing with Spot, laughing, things normal girls would be doing. But then things turned, well, not so normal. One, two, three, blink. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped when I saw the Dogman, I mean yours would to if you were expecting a cute puppy, and instead saw a 7 foot tall monster! It was big, hairy, and dripping from its mouth was a gooey, red substance I sincerely hoped was ketchup. It's silver eyes shifted to each of our faces, as if deciding whether we were good enough to eat. Suddenly it jumped spitting and snarling at a terrified Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn

The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was the Dogman flying toward me, its eyes glinting, then it all just melted away. The dark giving up to light, the chaos giving up to peace. It was quite nice actually, no cares in the world, it was blissful, euphoric. "KAITLYN!" a voice yelled from far, far away, and reality came crashing back onto my shoulders. I had to help my friends. Struggling to get a grip on consciousness, I pulled my way back to the voice, back to my friends. When I woke up something wasn't the same, it was as if I were watching my life going on without me, images flickered around me, sometimes bright and real, and sometimes spotty and grey, like an old movie. It was as if the Dogman had pushed my soul right out of my body. I watched my body start to sit up on the floor where I had fallen, my eyes not there usual brown, but beady silver. "Stop! Help me!" I tried to yell at my friends, who rushed to help my body to its feet. But no sound escaped my parched mouth, wind, nonexistent before, whistled around me, ripping my weak voice from my throat and shattering it into a million tiny pieces, scattering my broken words to unknown places.

Clara

"Here ya go." I said helping Kaitlyn to her feet. "Geez, you scared us!" Sadie added. I agreed completely, seeing someone getting knocked out by a giant dog was definitely not high on my bucket list. "Great trick! You really had us going there." I laughed, and made a mental note to ask Kaitlyn how she did it later. Kaitlyn looked at me and grinned evilly, her silver eyes glinting... that's when I knew something was wrong. "RUN!" I screamed at Sadie, grabbing her arm. "WHY?" she yelled back. "Because Kaitlyn's been possessed." I mumbled, not loud enough for anyone but myself to hear. I dashed through the house, Sadie in tow, running up, up, up flights of stairs, down hallways, through doors. Finally we collapsed, gasping for air in room at the top of the house, with no exits except for a tiny window that was 30 feet up from the freezing, wet, pavement below. That's when I gave in to the cold, hard truth, we were going to die.

Sadie

The funny thing about instances where you almost die is that you never see them coming, when I got up in the morning I didn't expect this at all. To me, then, it was just going to be another day, nothing special. Boy was I wrong. I felt like Rapunzel, trapped in a tower with a tiny window, waiting for a prince to come and save me from my fate, except I wasn't alone, and no prince was coming to save Clara and I, we were on our own. We scrambled into a corner and cowered behind a broken chair, breathing hard. I heard the sound of the Dogman slowly dragging itself up the stairs. THUMP clunk THUMP clunk. "Ready or not here I come!" a voice growled, the words sending an icy chill down my spine. The giggling followed, not a joyous sound but one of a monster, a monster who enjoyed inflicting pain. Fear took root in my brain, immobilizing my limbs, freezing the scream that was forming in my throat. The door slowly opens and Clara presses her back against the wall and then, she's gone. "Clara?" I whisper, trying not to alert the Dogman of my presence. I glance back at the door, and shiver again. The Dogman is staring straight at me, it's silver eyes penetrating my soul. I back up against the wall as Clara did, hoping she is alright. Suddenly I'm falling, panic grips me, my eyes try to take in everything at once. Colors blurred past, objects swirled around me, first a ballet shoe, then a rotten apple core. Finally I landed with a thump on a pile of old rags. Head spinning I stared up at the gaping hole in the wall above and everything went black.

Kaitlyn

I watched helpless from the ceiling as the Dogman chased my friends around the abandoned house, I heard their screams and unwanted tears prickled in my eyes. Why us? What had we done to deserve... no, I had to help my friends, not sit here and watch them die! I leaned forward trying to figure out how to move. I slowly glided toward the doorway, I leaned forward even farther and went zooming out into the hallway. I heard a big THUMP from somewhere deep in the heart of the house and raced toward it, ready to do whatever it takes to insure my friends safety. After a while of floating through walls, finding no trace of my friends I finally reached a set of stair less grand then the rest of the house. These steps were made of crudely cut stone, and they led deep into darkness. So naturally I floated down them to explore, and to hopefully find my friends. I glided down the stairs a little bit and bumped into a heavy oak door. Huh, that's odd. Usually I am not stopped by doors or walls, I just go straight through them. I looked down at my hands and saw they were reforming, bone slowly extending from midair, tendons and muscles stretching across them. What the... I fluttered my skeletol fingers, smiling at how fast I regained control of them. Once my reformation was complete I grabbed the doorknob and jiggled the handle throwing my full weight on the door to get it to budge. Finally the door gave way and I tumbled into a large room, old rags littered the floor. I stepped closer to the rags and I saw a crumpled figure of a girl lying in pile on one side of the room. As I crept closer and looked at the girl's face contorted with pain I screamed. It was Sadie. I reached out to grab her arm, but she yanked it away and pointed at something across the room. I turned slowly, every nerve in my body did a backflip. There in the corner of the room, previously masked by suffocating darkness was Clara, her back arched, and he silver eyes glistening with the essence of pure evil.

Clara

Must. help. friends... I dragged myself across the dirty wood floor, my leg bent at an odd angle from my fall. I must make sure the Dogman doesn't hurt anyone else. I must get out. I must, I must, I must. "SADIE!" I yelled, my voice echoing of the cavernous walls. All of the sudden I heard a scream. I swung my head around just in time to see Sadie tumbling through the air, arms flailing. She landed on a pile of rags and stopped moving, I tried to hobble over to her but I realized that she wasn't alone. Beside her was the deteriorating form of Kaitlyn, as Kaitlyn's body turned to black dust I realized what was happening and ran as fast as I could with my broken leg. Ran for my life. The swirling cloud of dust raced after me as I looked desperately for a way out, of course I found nothing. I gulped as the dust flew at me, fear sliced through my body but I stood my ground and braced myself for impact.

Sadie

Kaitlyn stood above me in shock, I don't blame her, seeing Clara like that sent chills through me. The Dogman was everywhere not just in the form of my friend, but possessing every inch, every nook, every forgotten cranny of this house. We weren't safe here, we weren't safe anywhere. Clara, no, the Dogman crouched, ready to tear Kaitlyn and I to shreds. "RUN" I yelled just as the Dogman sprung into the air with surprising agility. It barely missed us, crashing into the wall and knocking Clara's glasses off its face. In a moment of panic I kicked the glasses as hard as I could, sending them spinning noisily off into the darkness. The Dogman stumbled around for a second before regaining its balance and lunging at us again. Apparently it's eyesight was perfect as it slammed into Kaitlyn, sending her flying across the room, landing, like the glasses, somewhere off in the dark.

Author's Note

This is just a rough draft. There are a lot of mistakes and it's not finished yet. Criticism is appreciated!

Reviews

[BruceDog]

Pretty creepy - really enjoyed what you have so far. And I agree with Clara K. (a little creepy that her name matches the story, don't you think?) that you have to be really careful when you have several different characters and viewpoints. Separation of paragraph for quotations would help clarify the story, I think. But this is just a nit-picky detail really - overall the story is really creative and I love what you have so far.

[Sadiesmiles]

thanks BruceDog. Clara K. is actually meant to be one of the characters in the story.This is still a VERY rough draft but your criticism helps!

[Clara]

It's amazing! Just make sure that you start a new paragraph each time a different person speaks. Keep writing!