Asylum

The Asylum

Drip, drip, drip, drip. The monotonous sound of water trickling from the leaky, rusted faucet to my left making it hard to think as I strain against the obstinate straight jacket that straps my arms to my sides. They tell me that I have a malady, a disease not of the body, but of the mind. "A danger to myself and others." they say, but I know I'm not crazy, the place I come from is tangible, not a figment of my 'overactive' imagination. I must keep resisting, I must confuse them, or they will kill me. I must get back home, I must warn my family, I must warn everyone, I must, I must, I must. This world isn't safe, the people here are grimy and pig-eyed. Their endless curiosity all that is keeping me alive. I will never condone them if they capture more of my people. Memories flood my head, causing me to stop struggling and fall deep, deep, deep into the depths of my cavernous mind, away from the chastisement, called Earth. A sweet smell fills the air, replacing the scent of pain and suffering that I can't escape in the asylum. I open my eyes and am met with an explosion of color, my eyes trying to take everything in at once. Delicate flowers dripping with the last of a morning dew, bright birds chirping, I know exactly where I am, I am home. Zandalo is even more enchanting than I remembered, if paradise were a place this would be it. I take a step towards a patch of wild blueberries, eager to fill my mouth with something other than gristly porridge, or tasteless gruel. I reach down to grasp a handful of the delectable treat, and all of my world melts away, darkness creeping up the plants, engulfing my home, my life, dragging me back to the shadowed abyss of the asylum.

Author's Note

This story is a little dark but it was fun to write. Again it is only a rough draft so pardon any mistakes that you find. Critisism is very much appreciated!

Reviews

[My-two-lives]

I absolutely love this!
The subject matter can be quite a challenging one for some people, but you have played off the ideas beautifully, and I love the use of repetition with some of the words. The vivid descriptions give a great sense of mystery as you go into describing how the protagonist feels towards the doctors of the asylum, and with the great contrast between “Zandalo” and “Reality”, it really creates an atmosphere of longing, urgency, fear and uncertainty.
You’ve done fantastically on this piece, and I highly await the time when I can read more of your work.
(In fact I wish I could now but school seems very insistent to drag me away from such scriptures.)

[Sadiesmiles]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

[>.]

This is an enchanting tale, It' so vivid the imagery, It jumped out in my face and I watched the scenes dance in front of my eyes. Really impressive writing and thought process for someone so precious and young. Amazing job young lady you've earned my respect.

[Sadiesmiles]

Thank you!

[deejayb567]

you have a wonderful imagination for your age, I loved the story and then loved it even more when I saw you were only 13...you have talent beyond your years, excellent job!

[Sadiesmiles]

Thank you!

[Mockingbird]

i get many impressions of this story. first is that of one who is paranoid and delusional, but who is also tripping out. things are blurry and clear. it really gets into the mind of the patient. excellent job.

[Sadiesmiles]

Thank you Mockingbird. This piece was kind of hard since I usually don't write this way but I like the way it turned out.

[Clara]

Wow! This is amazing! Keep on writing!