Writing 2/6

This is an old piece I wrote after being depressed for a really long time. I needed to vent out my feelings somehow and this was the best way I could.

It’s weird how things change without people noticing until its too late. I got a project back that I turned in for grading in November. I went to my “future” page and found a picture of us. In that moment, I began wallowing in self pity for not realizing the things I know now during the time we were together. If only I knew you weren't as serious about us as I. If only I knew you were telling twenty other girls the same exact thing as me. I could wish I knew a lot of things at the time. Ironically, I believe my biggest wish of all is that I never knew you. In some ways I didn't, I knew the person you tried to be. I thought you were a loving, caring person who I actually meant something to. In reality, you were just a foolish and arrogant person who only cares about himself. I probably should've listened to you when you said you were a sociopath. It turns out you were right all along. Although things changed, I will always long for what we had before I found out. The laughs at 3am and that time we made love, is something I can’t erase. And although I may love you, I need to quit you. You're like a drug. A poison. Just like you always wanted to be but I believe it’s time for me to finally get clean.