crestfallen

It’s hard to ignore someone when they're this damn entrancing

A brush of a fingertip over my shoulder, which

Even in my inebriated state

Ignites a series of goosebumps in its wake

While stirring the fire beneath my ribcage

A glance up,

Which tosses my sullen curls back 

And allows our eyes to dance around each other

Taking in the freckles and cow licks

And everything else that would make the other’s visage unique 

The flickering from the end of your lit cigarette

Bathes your face in an amber glow

And though I knew where I was allowing my gaze to be dragged

I was still unprepared for the static shock

That originated from turbulent mess of melting magnets

At the bottom of my stomach

As a direct result of your honey-coloured eyes meeting my own

Slanted smiles and wicked eyes

I should have stayed at home

I never should have gone out

It only results in my helpless gravitation towards you

And your merciless presence

Harsh and unforgiving

How could you not know what you do to me

Because when I’m around you

The dull orange of the streetlight

Blazes and roars into a crystal clear fire of

Reds and oranges

The slate grey cobblestone of the street

Arise as tiny words and letters scribbled into the concrete

Confessions of lovers gone by

Hell, even the pitch-black sky

Seems to stir and swirl like a 

Pool of ink and mist

In your presence the monotony of the 

Sleeping city world at night awakes and grows

Transforming into a mosaic of life,

Fully saturated and ready to be indulged.

If you would, I would have you take my hand

And no matter the weather

Nor the time, I would drag you behind me 

And lead you into the oil painted cityscape that tingles 

With more meaning that you could ever understand alone

However, it doesn’t end that way.

When your gaze meets mine,

Nothing can be seen other than a cool attitude of friendship

And a blasé appreciation of the way my hair falls after the rain.

The cigarette stays on your lips, soon to be replaced by another

And after our usual brief exchange, we both turn away

Ready to begin another conversation with someone new

With the lights around us already dimmed.

Author's Note

Context: when i'm drunk, i always try and talk to the guy i like. Recently, it has consistently been this same guy on every night out. It's been really bothering me atm because we always seem to get closer and flirtier after each interaction, but it never really leads anywhere. Anyway, this kind of vents that frustration and disappointment i feel around him

Reviews

[Alessander]

As someone who's been inebriated at afterhours perhaps too much, I can def relate. You def convey the ambiance, the tinge of energy, nervousness, excitement, esp around someone you like

That originated from turbulent mess of melting magnets

At the bottom of my stomach

I also like the metaphor of the cigerrette linked to that feeling, of being transported from the "mundane" and "dull" and rainy.

Much like a drag, the feeling can be intoxicating, addictive, and keeps the person returning for more.
But much like a drag, it can be short-lived, transitory, and maybe even toxic [?]

The cigarette stays on your lips, soon to be replaced by another

And after our usual brief exchange, we both turn away

Ready to begin another conversation with someone new

With the lights around us already dimmed.

Anyhow, enjoyed it. Loved the tone and pathos.