Ifs

I know.if .
 Half the things I said 
I never spoke
And didn't do half the things
I've done.
I know that 
Who has left
Would still be around,
What has been lost
Would still be found.
If I let things slide 
I'd be smiling inside.
If I let things go
I'd be a bright little girl.
Now let's go back;
And reminisce. 
Let's think of the memory.
It so precise
On how you left me: 
So cold and cruel.
One minute you were there
So loving,
Eyes filled with care.
The next ? you disappeared 
No explanation 
You cared to share.
This vivid and so clear,
Memory.
Haunts me every night.
For you were my knight and golden armor,
To save me, 
From myself.
That day you said goodbye 
With not a worry in sight?
Was the day I lost 
My smile, my laugh.
I'm a ghost walking in 
The shoes of yesterday.
Always wondering
"  what should have been " 
Having a little glimmer 
Of hope, that 
One day, I'd become
The first thought 
On your mind everyday.
I look back and 
Wish I could change the past.
But thinking about
What I did.
Won't make the past come undone.
Let me say this once.
For i know it wont change
I miss you. 
I miss feeling 
Like there was someone 
Who'd never leave.
All these "ifs" won't change that
I'm fighting all alone.
And your gone..
Far far away, 
only evidence of your love
Was the shattered remains 
Of my once whole
Heart.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think please!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sounds like a recital of my life in
past months. All I have been capable
of is , WHAT ? WHAT ? what ?
So, I`m not a good reviewer for your
wiritng, since I would have written
exactly the same thing if I could .
----- John