Savior

One in a series of poems bout my mythical girls

I hide in darkness

Grim always of the night

Waiting, watching, wondering

I see victims of hunger, truth, and rape

From my grim perch

 

Alone in darkness

That consumes my soul and invades my heart

For that is all I know

All I've ever known

I hear children's screams

 

And they bring back memories

Of a life I once knew

Hiding in darkness

Hearing muffled sounds

Screaming and thrashing when I am found

 

Against my will I am taken

Emotionally wounded

My dreams fade

My wings black and ashen

I've learned not to love

 

It only weakens you

I hide what I believe alone

In my mind

Wanting, needing to share my thoughts

That influence my mind

 

The darkness calls when things turn sour

And life is cruel

The quiet state of darkness

With only the stars for comfort

I come

I find thee with no hopes and dreams

 

With blackened souls and tainted minds

To find them a new place

To thrive and grow, so they don't become as I

And I save thee

 

I come with dusk

As gray as dawn

For I am

An angel of the night

Author's Note

Original 2005

Reviews

[Mr. Darkblood]

SUGGESTIONS
- "sould" - I hope this is just a typo.
- "Wounded emotionally" should be "emotionally wounded", it fits better with the rhythm and tone.
- "With blacked souls and tainted minds", change "blacked" to "blackened", it just feels more right that way.

Despite my critiques, I think you did a very good job on this piece, it showed anger and sadness very well.

[Tina Kline]

There is something very dark and sinister about this but over all I got a sense of sadness and pain. I think you did an outstanding job on this. Your words are powerful, very powerful and gripping.

[Poetic Beauty]

I truly love this poem. Not for the form or the flow but because of the words. It paints a picture of a dark person hiding, trying to protect the innocent. Of an Angel that has been through more in a life time than anyone should. Great write.

[Sam Severn]

Profoundly big-hearted n' full of love n' hate n' lines that buzz in my head like high-tension wires. "I've learned not to love/It only weakens you/I hide what I believe alone/In my mind" is my favorite verse, so real n' raw n' brutal n' honest. I can feel how deep down true the feelings are for you, n' how you express them by creating a realm (maybe it's an underworld, I dunno) where the horrific n' scary s**t is being watched over by angels who desperately want it all to end. Your poems have overwhelming impact, n' you write like someone with deep-reaching talents that are waiting to be tapped. ㋡