Have you seen my Lover?

Where is my lover?
Where could he be?
Have you seen his strong-boned face?
His fighters arms
 
Have you seen my lover?
His strong armed embrace
My shelter, my music, my purpose, my strength.
 
There were paths, options
We sought
Some how we parted
The lovers seek a glimpse of that in which is unknown to us.
A loves most
 
His soul she trusts
 
Have you seen my lover?
The death crows call
   Come bearing gifts
   Of doubt, of fall
They seek a garden of bone and flesh
A lonely souls' heart
to nest
 
Have you seen the shining horses
The death man's steeds
He calls them powerful, he calls them bleak.
 
He's taken her
Bound her hands, her eyes covered
She lost the touch, the sight
Of her lover
Her souls delight
 
Unknown he doesn't see
Despair's grip enthralled she be
 
The Death Crows come
Seeking solace
Searching for companions of sorrow and doubt
 
Have you seen my lover?
He's gone off I fear
I see his lovely body
But his mind....its not here.
 
Did you take my lover?
Death Dealer, did you steal my future?
Did you feed off my hopes, distract my lover?
 
The horses thunder, the birds do scream
The blackness is coming
The void is near.
My hope has stayed someplace
Where my time had past
 
Where is that hunger, that yearn, the might?
 
Goodbye my lover, once you did try
To fulfill your heart with our love gone by.
 
What good could come of me, of you
Seems lost in the black wings of the weary few.
The death birds sing
Of me, of you
 
Have you seen my lover?
I believe he's lost in you.

Author's Note

This I feel is potentially really strong poem, but its a bit rough in some places. All critics are welcome.

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Sabbath, this is very good writing, I was thoroughly impressed. So many people write of this same general topic, but not always as passionate and captivating as this.

Overall, a very good piece. You have much talent for this, keep your pen to the grindstone, I really enjoyed this!

Antonio

[Sketch]

Its great. Very clever and strong and it really grasped my mind as I was reading it. You say it's a bit rough in some places, one of the lines that I would pick at: "The lovers seek a glimspe of that in which is unknown to us." Its not a bad sentence it's just a little wordy. It could be just me though because I've always had a thing about coordinating syllables with each line in my poems (or trying to). Over all its a great piece. Good job. =)

[Silvario]

a beautiful display of creative talent. so well written, and if you think youre able to improve upon it as you mentioned ... wow, more power to ya.

a strong messege, cleverly penned.

well done

[decoraz]

he is lost in me but in that very instance .. he was flown back into the first person, singularly

cool writing, girl

[Janice Ann]

Wow. That last line. fabulous! This is a strong poem. I happen to enjoy the longer verse...because it leads you on the journey of the writers, and sometimes words just come and they have to be written. I enjoyed this greatly...Thanks for sharing love!

Great Write!
Janice