My August Lies

MAK

 

 

You shut your eyes

Closed your ears

Deaf and Blind

Begging not to hear

The sound of love calling

 

A girl falling

Breaking down

Until she hits the ground

You’ve walked away

When there was a need of catching

A need of holding

 

Blind is what you are

Deaf is what you’ve become

 

Acknowledgment is the key you swallowed

Long ago

To forever keep

Me locked up tight

Imprisoned but not loved

Close but not held

There is no warmth in your voice

No choice in my heart

 

I’m done begging

Finished loving

Exhausted from trying

And crying

 

You cracked my heart open

For the sake of seeing what’s inside

Once your curiosity was sated

You fled

Your love abated

You left me hanging out to dry

You left my heart open

Unsheltered in the storm

Cracked and weathered

The love inside

Shriveled up

Became nothing

Nonexistent

A husk of her former self.

 

 

Reviews

[Dani California]

"Acknowledgment is the key you swallowed
Long ago"

"You cracked my heart open
For the sake of seeing what's inside"

Brilliant. Just BRILLIANT! Wow. This entire piece was awesome, but these lines in particular jumped out at me.

.. very emotional ... i felt it.

The structure and flow rocked as well...

Excellent work!

[jumbie's #1 fan]

Wow, you have many eye-catching lines. Your poem reminds me of a story I wrote about a breakup. That's how I felt. Thanks for sharing this relatable poem. Quite beautiful.

[Kenji Light]

I think this piece was certainly for experimental. You changed your rhyme schemes and your structures, which is all fine and good, because it worked for you in this piece. I think you use some great imagery, but the whole sensory picture was diverted from by the emotional side of it all. You have some great lines in there and some that were more...obvious. Then again, simplicity sometimes is good to include in poetry. Not everything has to be difficult. All in all, I think you did a good job here. I read it over a few times to get a good feel for it and I think that the simplicity works and is barely noticeable in the grand scheme of things. Good job. -Kenji

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

you created a dome inside the month of august, revolving the spectrum of love, hatred, and the returning. all in the same cycle of never-ending lies. very beautiful indeed, i agree it was a pleasant release of such eloquent piece,an output of hurt.

[Tara Jean Olson]

oh my gosh...definetely a heartfelt poem...i get the feeling that this was a good release for you:)

[Janice Ann]

That is a powerful piece. I loved it..."you left my heart open" That is fantastic...It flowed great and it really put the emotion out there!
Well written.

Janice Ann

[darkgurl]

"Blind is what you are Deaf is what you've become" Love these lines here and this opening line to this stanza
"Acknowledgment is the key you swallowed" This is a powerful write here and is very well written, So true too. This is a very well written write here, like this.