The Mysterious Glow

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The Mysterious Glow

By S.Z.

It all began at an autumn’s eve, not that it really matters that it was an autumn’s eve, just for being exact, since it’s very important to be exact. My name is Rob. I was 21 years old back then, just finished my service at the military. I’ve been off the army for about three months. I was working as a mailman and had a steady girlfriend for about two years, her name was Sivan. I also had a best friend, Ariel.

Ariel was also off duty for about two months and he still hasn’t found a job, to be frank, he didn’t even look for one even though he could have been a body guard, after all he had served as a combat soldier at a ground unit*, I also was a combat soldier but I served at the artillery corps*. Not that anybody cares where you’ve been at the army after you’re off duty.

So, as I said, it has been an autumn’s eve, even though it was a normal autumn’s eve, that’s compared, of course, to all the other autumn evenings where nothing special generally happens, at this evening the Mysterious Glow has resurrected at Ariel’s eyes, the Mysterious Glow is a primordial essence whom you cannot find as such anywhere actually, and you cannot read about it for instance at books. Believe me, I’ve tried. You can hear some mystisists talk about it but you wouldn’t believe them, because that nobody has ever seen the glow for real. They say that what creates it is something about some stars that align with other stars, something about Orion’s belt but I guess that’s nonsense either.

At that evening I remember I wore my baggy clothes, I had a red hood shirt my father brought me from his trip at the U.S. and ¾ pants, I was shaved and very tidy as usual. Ariel wore a jeans and a T-shirt of some brands, he wasn’t shaved and looked pretty much like he just threw some clothes at himself and went out the house. Like every other evening that we would meet, you could have found us at a nice garden near my house, sitting on a bench having none interesting and indifferent conversations about many none interesting stuff. Smoking a bunch of cigs and watching the smoke curls into the infinite skies.

“So…” Ariel said when the conversation went off he reached his hand down his pocket and fetched his cigarette box as I was doing the same thing. Ariel used to smoke Noblesse*, a pretty crappy cigarette if you ask me unless you are a farmer or just don’t have any money, neither of which were his excuse. “You know?” he said. “I’ve reached a conclusion”. Pretty amazed due to the drastic change in the rhythm of our conversation my whole body was now placed towards him, in anticipation “yes?” I asked. “Do you know what the problem in your life is?” what a condescending question I thought, and who is he to condescend on me? But on the other hand, the glow in his eyes was so powerful and convincing. It was brighter than the stars in the night sky. He continued “You’re too coward”; “you have no balls as to the matters of your life”; “look at me for instance, I live the moment!” even though that by solid numbers my life were actually better than his I couldn’t help not to listen to what he had to say since I always had some strange feeling as if there was some element missing in my life, an element that even though I don’t know what’s his name or what it is actually, one thing is certain. Ariel owns that element. It’s the same element that helped him out with Dana the popularity queen in high school, and some rumors say that he also did her mother which was an aging beauty queen. Frankly; I have no idea whether this was true or not, but in fact I know that if anybody could do that, it was him.

I took a really long blow from the cigarette while I have been day dreaming and was coughing when I snapped out of it. “So? What do you recommend?” I asked. He knew just where he was heading. “Sivan” he whispered. Sivan is my girlfriend I thought, on the one hand I am very curious but on the other I did not want him to badmouth about Sivan. “Not Sivan” I said. “OK” said the glow in his eyes. Of course I, the glow and Ariel knew that I would break, it just need time, well, not too much, just about 10 seconds. “What? What is it?” “What is it about Sivan?” I asked. Just to make me even madder than I already was he said “Can’t you see?”, now he is just being a pain. “What? What can’t I see?” Now, he looked into my eyes. The glow in those eyes was so powerful. “Dump Sivan” he said and turned his had back at the sky, laid back with his cigarette, gazing at the moon, the moon and Ariel shared a common secret, both their glows weren’t theirs, Yet so enchanting. “It has been two years she’s giving you hell, I can’t see why you keep eating her crap, and after that scene she made with your parents. It really hurts me seeing what she does to you, you know, as your bro” a wave of nerve flushed trough my head and calmed a second later, how dare he speak at Sivan like that she has always been nice to him, even though it could be none related between him and her, and besides, it’s true, she did tool me, and that scene she made with my parents. I wavered my head from side to side “That c**t” I mumbled. “How did I put up with her for so long?” the thoughts were running through my head like in a highway I couldn’t stop to think how come, “how come you never said anything before?”; “I was trying to, but you just wouldn’t listen”; “what?” I asked. “Well, when you know it then you know it” he said. And to be honest, even though that as a matter of fact he never tried to say anything about that ever, he was right, when I know it then I know it, whatever that means. And how could you argue with a glow that tells you true things? You just shake your head and repeat “when I know it, then I know it”.

The other day, the meeting between me and Sivan was a bit painful, not that any of us cried, maybe she cried after, I wouldn’t know. She looked so broken hearted that she just stood there without saying anything, she had that sad smile that hadn’t I know she was sad; I would’ve thought she was happy. And so, she just watched me go down the stairs without looking back even once, except for that one time when I was already really down and I looked up but the door was already closed.

At that day’s evening I and Ariel met again at the garden near my house. I felt like was seeking some guidance whereas to what I should do now. The conversation on the garden was boring as usual to me at least. At some point we laid back and as the rules of the ceremony he would pull out his box of Noblesse and I would fetch my normal cigarettes we both take the first blow. And then he asks as usual, “So?”; “I dumped Sivan today” I said. “Way to go man, I’m proud” he said, “how was it? Was it hard?”; “she looked like she was taking it too easy in retrospect” I said. “Too easy as for the fact that we have been together for two years already” I said. Ariel had nothing to say about that and we continued to smoke, and so I asked him “what now?” I have asked him with such exhaustion it showed that I was waiting the whole evening to ask him that. “Don’t know” he said. “F*****g A man, what do you mean you don’t know?” I became so pissed. “Don’t know” I said once over with a mocking voice. “Don’t know, live your life I guess” he said, with such indifferent voice. It was so easy for him to say just live your life because that’s obviously what he does all day long, living his life with no job and no girlfriend for a long couple of months. I felt like such a nerve wreck. “I thought we were friends!” I threw at him. “How the hell did I listen to you for f**k sake? Oh Sivan, my dear, what have I done”. But that’s the mysterious glow right there for you, a conniving, betraying essence, the one moment he feasts on your pain and the next moment he throws your bones to be chewed upon by the dogs. If there’s something that the glow does not appreciate is begging, but Ariel, being such a good friend turned over to him and said, with the glow in his eyes, so powerful, so convincing, “You know what we should do? You need to get laid, to forget about Sivan”, suddenly I felt so utterly stupid. He is so right! How could I have not see it, this is just what I need. So right, so convincing this glow his, “I need to meet somebody new!” I was thrilled.

At the next night, the third night since the glow appeared me and Ariel met, on the way, driving, life looks so beautiful, so much optimism, a chemical turbulence that happens inside your head, the drive on the way to the pub was very short, the music on the radio was so good!, I felt so excited, after all it has been a long time since I went out to some pub to hit on chicks. As for Ariel, it was just another night, like any night in which we don’t get together. I parked my car just in front of the place. At the entrance stood a tall selector, with shades of gray in his beard and hair, he smoked a cigarette; the smoke had a familiar scent; it was Noblesse. The selector winked to Ariel, and he made a sign as he turned his head for me to follow, we skipped the line, as I was reaching for my ID, the selector laughed at me, you’re with him? You don’t need no ID’s. and so we left a long line of guys who wants to be like Ariel and girls who want to be with Ariel, the selector opened the door for us, the music inside was very loud, and there was a lot of cigarette smoke in the place, Noblesse, I thought. The poor lighting and the smoke created a dazzling effect. Ariel ordered two beers and we sat on a sided table for two. After which I ordered the next round for us, Ariel then winked to the guy who was in charge of the music, and he put whole ‘lotta love* his favorite song. And then, Ariel just stood and signaled me to follow his lead, as he was moving forward towards the bar, I shoved myself into that little void behind his back, which was unpopulated while he was moving, before people would get to give me that annoying face you give someone when he tries to move through the place you are standing at. On the bar sat two chicks, from a distance they looked both very pretty, but I guess I was wrong, they were both stunningly beautiful! One of them was blonde with blue eyes, and the other was a brunette with green eyes. They had the perfect faces and the perfect bodies. They were both this type of girls that their look could kill you, literally. I am having trouble to describe to you the feeling you get when gaze at such beauties. But I’ll some up to the fact that it’s just masochistic starring at a girl that you can’t have, and two of them. They sat on the bar with an empty sit between them, like summoning some random guy to sit between them or they were waiting for someone. I could have sworn that prior to Ariel sitting on the chair between them the blonde winked at her friend and they both smiled and turned to the bar. And I just stood there like a cow, half overwhelmed of what I was watching and half looking for a free chair. “Who is that weirdo behind you?” the blonde one asked, “don’t know, maybe he is trying to build up the courage to hit on me?” Ariel said. The blonde and her friend laughed, oh what a beautiful laugh, yet insulting. Since that even though I couldn’t hear what the blonde was saying nor what Ariel said, because of the loud music, I’ve had the notion that they were laughing at me, and couldn’t make up my mind what was more insulting, the notion that they are laughing at me or the answer I would get for the question, what’s so funny?

When I told that story to a few close friends at the future, I did leave some parts behind, like the fact that I stood there still without a sit, and the fact that they were laughing at me, but one thing I had told exactly the way it happened and nobody has ever believed me. That without even looking once at the brunette during the conversation, without saying a word, he turned his body to her, moved the hair from her eyes, gave her his hand and she grabbed it and they just took off. In my head I was thinking what a m**********r. I was aiming for the brunette! After I calmed down I came to realize that I would probably even settle for the blonde as well. And so I realized! He was just showing me how it’s done. And so I sat at the chair he sat on, brushed the blondes hair softly and grabbed her hand, she pulled it away and looked at me with lack of patience and looked kind of stressed from me overall. “Who are you?” she asked impetuously. I’m in! I thought, “I’m Rob” I said as I looked down with my fake smile of high confidence.

Suddenly out of nowhere this guy bumped at my shoulder, as I was yelling at him “Hey! Watch where you are going” what an idiot, I thought. He sat next to the blonde on the other side, before I got to realize what was going on they were making out with so much passion. “F**k!” I yelled, I put cash on the bar without a tip, and went outside, I searched for the car keys in my pocket, and the car wasn’t there either. “F*****g b*****d!” I yelled, I tried catching him on the phone but he did not answer, I could only imagine what he was doing to that brunette at his home by now. I wanted to sit on the bench in front of my but there was already a homeless guy sleeping on it. While I was trying to gather around my thoughts, the door of the pub opened and out of it went the blonde and that guy, hugging each other and making out at every corner on the street, can’t take their hands off each other, simply gross.

Perhaps the only good thing that happened to me that night was, the fact that before I got to cross the road a cab stopped for me, all the way back home the cabby put utterly annoying oriental music. I hate that music.  And the way back felt so long, all the way back the cabby was talking bulls about politics and the situation, what an idiot I thought. Frankly? I don’t really give a rat's a*s about the captivated soldiers at 04:00 AM, one thing is certain on their end; at least they were sleeping now. The cabby on his end only wanted to ease out some of the boredom and tiredness of driving a taxi at night. This guy has no worries in his life; He has no idea what it takes driving a taxi at night the cabby thought. This taxi driver thinks his life is probably harder than mine I thought.

The next day I woke up relatively calm, probably because I found out a new edge of frustration, and if I am not a captivated soldier, then probably my life are still somewhat OK, I thought. At the evening we met again on the bench in the garden near my house, and I felt that because I lost the timing for my response it was now long overdue. Ariel on his side acted as if nothing happened, and he was half right because that it wasn’t him, it was the glow. Ariel like in an effort to add a crime upon a sin, and perhaps from a honest thought that I got that blonde chick from yesterday didn’t stop talking about the lay he had the other night, I just didn’t stop hearing the phrase “Loves the c**k”, which he kept on saying. F**k him. The nerves were boiling at my brains already, “you bloody wanker! I listened to you; I trusted you and you backstabbed me. Is that what friends do? Backstab each other?”Ariel that just now understood that last night wasn’t one of my best nights was somewhat shocked. He almost dropped the cigarette on his clothes, “why are you making a fuss? Did you see what a situation I made for you with that blonde? Just because you can’t utilize situations to your benefit it doesn’t mean that’s my fault. You blew it, that’s your fault!” I was furious. Probably, due to the fact that aside of my pride, my ego was now involved as well. Truth been told I don’t really remember my response to that, just that it was a really lousy one. There were like a ton of things I could have told him that he wouldn’t have a clue how to deal with, such as the fact that he stole my car without bothering mentioning it nor saying sorry, or the fact that he left without paying the bill. For some reason I chose to mention something petty and had so, unfortunately, had to deal with another defeat in a very legitimate argument with him. You can’t win that damn glow I thought. While he answered me the glow was so powerful in his eyes, it looked like it was burning and after he stopped talking, I just nodded, agreeing, accepting, how can you argue with that glow, especially when he is right? “When you are right you are right” I said, “When you understand you understand” he smiled at me.

It has been a few more cigarettes and a few more tasteless chats, and I could have sworn I saw a falling star, I swear I would have told you what my wish was, but everybody know you shouldn’t tell what you wished for, I can just tell you it came true. And suddenly, Ariel has made an offer to me, it sounded so good. “What do you say? Come over to me today at 23:00, there’s a Football Match, come, like we used to, we’ll sit together, have a few drinks, you know.” Don’t know what was it about that offer, it sounded so good, so true, so convincing, of course I couldn’t say no to it, and so it was.

At five to eleven I entered his house, my hair was a mess, I was unshaved, my eyes were red from a lack of sleeping, Ariel on the other end was all tide up, combed, shaved, he wore a red hood shirt and a ¾ pants that kind of reminded me of someone I used to know. “What’s up bro?” I asked, “The game is on soon” he said and led me to the sofa in the living room. On the table near the sofa were a six-pack, and some sun flower kernels in a bowl. “Ah” we sighed, “just what I needed” I added. I had no clue.

And like that out of nowhere Sivan went out of the kitchen, wearing one of Ariel’s old army shirts*, even though I was generally a naïve person, and It usually took me a while to understand things that were in front of my face. This wasn’t the deal in this case. Obviously, she slept with him and put on one of his shirts, what a w***e I thought. That’s her way of getting back at me? If it wasn’t for my flatfoot I would’ve gotten into an elite squad in no time I thought.

I couldn’t realize what I was more, humiliated, irritated, betrayed, perhaps a bit of each and my response would not hold back, and just to make sure that they would hear it, I yelled. “You freaking w***e, now you’re doing him? What is it? The artillery corps is no good for you anymore so you went for a ground unit? You can’t find a descent guy to bend you over so you come on over to my friends?” silence. It was a short one but it felt like forever, thoughts were sprinting in my head like a freeway; suddenly everything was making sense in my head. Ariel was looking into my eyes and the glow was so strong in them, like I’ve never seen it before, “Rob, calm down” he said. “ Do not speak this way to Sivan” I was so utterly mad foam was gushing through my mouth, and I spit it on him while I yelled back at him “You don’t pacify me you two timing dick, you call yourself a friend? That’s why you told me to break up with her? So you two could ease your consciences while you were having sex behind my back?! Screw you both!” as I was shaking my head from side to side, watching the floor, as I couldn’t believe what was happening, I could have sworn that they sneaked a smile at each other after my last remark. Suddenly Ariel has began, with the glow burning, brighter then the sun, brighter then bright itself, like I could never imagine, so strong I thought his eyes are about to explode, that’s what he likes, that mysterious glow, that’s what he feeds from. “Well Rob, you see, I and Sivan think that you are having a tough time now days, and since we are at the beginning of a new relationship, and since it’s better for you if you would work on your problems by yourself, it’s better if we didn’t see each other for a while. It was in that moment when the glow left Ariel’s eyes, I’ll show him, I thought. I flipped the living rooms table, breaking all the beers on it, and the bowl. I came up to Sivan and I slapped her in the face, then I spit on Ariel’s face and slammed the door after me. All the way down their building I kept yelling over and over “Idiot!”, “Idiot!!!” what an idiot am I, I thought. What an idiot that guy screaming at our stairwell the neighbors thought.

On the way back home, I came down, I felt like I needed a cigarette but my pack was done. So I went over to the grocery store in front of my house, I only had 11.5 Shekel’s so I bought a pack of Noblesse. I didn’t feel anything weird at all, and so I went home, took a shower and put on some clothes Ariel forgot at my car, a jeans and a T-shirt of some brands, from the night out with the brunette, what the f**k? I thought. But thinking about Ariel didn’t do too well to my mood, so I put on the clothes and forgot about it, at the entrance was the same selector from last night, he recognized me and let me in without waiting in line, the smoke inside had a familiar smell, it was Noblesse, my cigarette, I thought. I sat on the bar and ordered a beer aside to a guy and a crazily hot chick, I want her I thought. I realized from their conversation that they are already two years together; she’s tooling him, poor thing. When she was on her way out, she kissed him on the chick and our eyes met for the first time, she was checking me out and I winked at her and she smiled back, the guy was sinking into his beer as I picked up my glass, we looked at each other, smiled, he reminded me of somebody that I used to know, wearing an old red hood shirt and a ¾ pants, we talked about many diverse subjects, and it was fun and exciting, it felt like so much fun talking to him, it felt like we were best friends, in fact, we were best friends. We lit up a cigarette together, as I was reaching towards my pack of Noblesse smokes, he was doing the same thing with his normal cigarettes, we took our first blow out of the cigarette, we laid back on the crutchless stools of the bar, and we let the smoke curl out of our mouths so beautiful, so magical, so true. “You know what the problem in your life is?” I said as the mysterious glow in my eyes has grown.

 

Dedicated to all the people that were hurt by the mysterious glow over the years, I know I have.

 

1)      In the Israeli army a person more honor is related to ones who serve in a ground unit than to those who serve at the artillery corps.

2)      Noblesse is an Israeli cigarette which is considered not a good one.

3)      A famous Led Zeppelin song.

4)      In the Israeli army people make shirts with their fellow soldiers of the same unit that state the place where they serve, it’s why he get’s pissed off seeing her with a ground unit shirt.

 

Author's Note

one of my older pieces, hope you would like it. one of my personal favorites.

Reviews

[Jola]

Intersting story. Good work .
Greetings Jola

[Sean M. Addams]

a very gripping and powerful piece .. like the storyline in this and character development... overall i thought you did an amazing job on this.. imagery and detail were done well.. nice work..

[deeps]

Wow! So much involved here
Such wonderful imagery as well.
I can see the events unfold.
Very well written story.