I want to

I want to:
Tear this place out of it's damn foundations.
I want to shoot this building to another location.
Cause drywall right now is annoying me,
destroying my fragile will to think upwards and probably
sinking my head under a thousand pounds of pressure.
How can I take part in this ecosystem and broken culture?
I know one thing that I can do with my brain,
I can close my eyes and become that flame.
Become that flame and reduce this land into little things.
Become that flame and just f**k up everything.

But that's just one side of my pent up soul,
It's just one side but it's a vocal one so
I'm going to end this one with a little disclaimer
I'm never this angry, but when I am it could dangerous.

Author's Note

10 minutes worth of words.

Reviews

[Bare trees]

Hm, I think you have a lot of creativeness going on behind that pen you wield like a sword. I hear the anger and you channel it into well chosen words. I would watch the cursing though. F**k is one of the most overused words in poetry besides moon. Be careful and don't fall into that trap and become predictable. That aside, you write very well and I can sense a kind of groove in your words developing. Keep writing and nice poem.

[Jay Harris]

"I'm never this angry, but when I am it could be dangerous." I read once that the ending of a poem always carries the most weight and that, you did with this. The ending is powerful. Also, playing with Palewriter's comment on the usage of "f**k" ..he makes a point of is being overused but when used correctly, it's a powerful word. Ways/ideas to get around using "overused" words, try describing how you would f**k up everything? who'd be there to see it? how'd it feel while f*****g it up. Just throwing out helpful hints.

[A. V. Madison]

10 minutes worth of mere brilliance, my darling.

[_Hanabi_]

lol.......i really loved this one.....an u were so rite about 10 minutes worth of words.