Woah

I didn't plan on it being WOAH, but it kind of worked out like that. I feel like it's a ramble of a bunch of different things, but anyways, here it is.

We will let the sun pour down
onto this town it will crash hard
and you will finally see what is underneath.
How are you unable to understand?

Why in this world can people go so long without noticing?
Of all that occurs, inside and out;
An amazing view from anywhere you are.
Have you not felt this yet?

When the time finally comes for this;
On that day it will be a dream come to life.
Again you can see what is below the surface.
Happy will you be forever more.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

In the first stanza I like the how you went the other way with the rhyme in the second line.

For some reason, I felt like I was watching a person vow to bring enlightenment to the world. It is sad that a person can be enlightened by simply noticing what is in plain view. They see people squander their lives and surrender their individuality without any logical reasoning.

It has a optimistic undertone of hope. That feeling somehow has a hint of determination. The splicing of emotions made it very interesting.

This poem seems to be a parable of a person who has many "peers" but not many peers. I honestly love it.

[Hayley]

i like the style of this poem! You incorporated the acrostic "Woah" very nicely and made it flow, so it wasn't too choppy like many acrostics are. Thanks for the read :)

[OceanTropic]

I enjoyed the message you were trying to get across; that an appreciation for even the smallest, simplest and most overlooked things can bring to us so much joy, that we can't even imagine how great it is to notice something that we take for granted.

Good piece, keep writing!

[Shalini Dinesh]

The acrostic form is really nice and well executed, i initially thought you were saying woah for the work you have done, then realized its an acrostic, well done, i liked the flow and style of it.... WOAH!!!

[darkgurl]

Such powerfulness in this write. Reads very well I like the words, they rush over you. Well written.

[Essie]

So, I read this and loved the simple statements and flow of the piece. Then, I realized the WOAH format and loved it even more. Great write!

[Michael X]

i loved the beginning and the image of the sun crashing down upon a town,
and what follows is equally as captivating in politcal metaphorics,
seems this poem speaks on many levels from personal to broad,
in ways it speaks about the world itself and how people see things from
different points of view, in any regards i thought it was an awsome poem.
keep up the great work.

[Kaitlin]

i fell like im reading the bible, or in your case, the torah. haha i dont mean it in a bad way. you are just extemely philosophical, its making me feel stupid. thanks

[Adelia Alighieri]

Subtle.
Great job.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was good. I liked the title as well. Thanks for sharing. :)