Chapter One

THE room I stood in was cold and dark, almost so dark that you couldn't see your hand if you held it a foot away from your eyes. I'd been in this room, many times before. I reached my hand for the chain that hung from the light, feeling my way along the wall like a blind person would do. Reaching into thin air, I moved my hand around until I felt the chain lightly brush against the back of my hand. I snapped my hand back and pulled on the chain, letting the faint light turn on, only lighting enough for me to see a couple feet ahead of me.

I walked around the room, or at least around the small perimeter that the light glew. The cement floor of the basement made my feet cold, almost like I was walking on frozen, hard snow. But I kept walking around, feeling my way around the objects pressed up on the side of the walls. 

"Gosh darnit, I wish this light was brighter," I murmured angrily. I looked at the objects pressed up against the wall more. They were faint, and I could barely make out what each object were. Most of them were boxes, filled with old Christmas lights, Halloween decorations, old clothes that were supposed to be donated years ago, but never were. 

My thumb bumped something. Something harder than the card board moving boxes that everything else was in. It was wood, polished wood. I stopped my hand, pulling my hand back and feeling it with the palm of my hand. Exactly what I was looking for. I put my hand on each side of it, pulling it off from the card board boxes that it was rested on and pulled it directly underneath the light bulb and the chain. My shadow was faint over the box, and I pulled the top lid up to open it. 

Slowly, I could feel my eyes water as I looked at all the memories that the box held. The necklace ( in which was half a silver star ), pictures, year books.. I reached my hand down in the box, grabbing the necklace and the long chain. The half - star was cold, and gave me goose bumps on the palm of my hand and along my wrist where the half - star hung. I dropped the half - star down until I was barely holding onto the chain. But with all my will, I wasn't going to let that necklace fall.

I unclipped the back of the necklace, putting it around my neck, then clipping it back up. I let the half - star fall gently onto my chest, right above my heart. I took a deep breath, sighing as the metal sat there. I went through the pictures, looking at pictures of my best friends from years back. They were probably dead by now, some of them I knew for sure were.  I could remember all the details and all the memories as I looked through each photo.

I paused. Tracing my fingertips gently over the picture, I stared at it, letting the memories come over me, to the top of my head. Tears rolled down my cheeks, thinking of the friends I'd lost, the friends I'd missed.

I put the pictures back in, stacked neatly inside one of the corners. I grabbed a yearbook, looking through the grade I was in. 2011. I was in 6th grade then, the class 2011 - 2012. Flipping to the back page, I looked at the last page before the pages where people could sign your yearbook. "You're all wonderful children. We hope you all find that special someone that fits your half. - SilverWood Middle School Staff". I read over it, wiping my tears from my cheeks and off my water line. I smiled softly, putting the yearbook down with all the other ones in chronological order. I unclipped the necklace again, removing it from my neck. I kissed the half - star gently, before placing it over the pictures and the yearbooks; the memories. "I love you," I whispered, gently down at the box, even though there was no one in the room, no one in there with me. I whispered into the nothing - ness, letting my voice echo. Or at least it felt that way. 

Slowly, I closed the box, and picked it up, setting it back on the boxes it was on before. I pulled myself away, and turned my back. I reached for the chain, pulling it down again so that the light faded away in a flash. I felt my way out of the room, and closed the door behind me.

When I was born, as well as everyone else, I was given a special necklace. A necklace that was special and for every individual. From the day you're born, to the day you die, the necklace is labeled as yours. And once you die, you get buried with the necklace, and the same charm gets recreated, and made for someone new. Everyone had the same shape, same color, but they would only heat when you were with someone you truly cared about.

When I was 6, I remember asking my mother why we were given the necklaces. I had observed Mom's and Dad's necklaces, and they were the same shape, but the opposite halves. "We live in a world," She had told me, "Where there is no pain by un - necessary people. You see this necklace?" She had reached for my necklace, rubbing it with her thumb. I nodded, listening to her as she continued, "This necklace represents someone else out there who has the same one. The person who hasn't found their half yet. When you meet him, your necklace will become warmer, and warmer. The closer you get. The farther you get, the colder your half - star will become. The world has and will always be like this, Kellin, do you understand? It will not become warmer until you're with you're soul mate."

From that day on, I had remembered what my mother had told me, even after she had died of breast cancer when I was 14. My father watched over my older brother, Ron, and myself. He never wore his necklace from the day she had died.

Today, I sat on my bed, reading over my essay paper on someone important in my life that I had to turn it by next Tuesday, which was 3 days from now. After school, by now, everyone would be outside, hanging out, but I was inside my room, locked up, working on my essay in solitude. I had written it about my mom, even though it was hard for me to write about her after she died a year ago. 

Ron walked into my room, quietly opening the door. As he closed it, it creaked softly until it was closed again. "How're you doing, Kellin?" He asked me, looking at me. I looked up from my essay and up at him, still standing in the doorway, his hand against the door behind him. He rocked gently, back and forth, on the heels of his feet.

"I'm fine," I replied, looking down at my essay again. "Just reading over this one more time before I hand it in. I know it's my final copy, but I really want to get an A on this one." 

Silence.

I heard Ron walk up to me, his footsteps almost silent on the carpet. He stood behind me, hovering over my shoulder with his hand between my shoulder blades. Ron was two years older than me. He was almost finished with High school, and he'd been looking for colleges the past few months. He read softly into my ear, out loud to me as he read the concluding paragraph of my essay. "My mother will always be a great friend of mine; She taught me there are reasons to laugh, reasons to smile, reasons to cry. And I will never forget the lessons she has taught me in life. Fight through the tears, smile through the frowns, and never let anything or anyone bring you down."

I listened to him, listening to my own words as he spoke them gently in my ear. "I like it," He said, pulling himself up again. He walked back to the door. He stopped before he opened it and turned to me. "Kellin?"

I looked at him, making a gentle noise with my throat so he knew I was listening to him. "Do you miss Mom..?" He asked. There was a long period of silence that grew in the room. We sat, staring at each other, until finally Ron broke the stare down and looked down at his feet. "Do you?"

"Of course I do," I said. "I miss her more than anything. She was like my best friend, Ron."

Ron stared at his feet, then nodded a few moments later. He lifted his head up, without looking at me, and opened the door. Stepping out of my room, he closed the door again. I could hear him walk down the hall until his footsteps became quieter and quieter. Then silent.

I looked down at my essay again, pushing my bangs back with the rest of my hair. I took a deep breath, exhaling loudly and sighing before I got up from my bed. I stacked the two pages of my essay neatly, putting them into my folder and closing it. I put my folder back into my black back pack, zipping it back up and putting it against my dresser.

I opened my door and stepped outside of my room, walking down the hall and into the front room. Dad was sitting on the couch with this reading glasses on and his nose in a book. My dad had a full head of hair, but had one little bald spot on the top that no one could really notice. He was only 32 or so, and Mom was about 30 when she died. "I'm heading out," I said, slipping my sneakers on my feet. 

Dad made a murmuring noise. "Okay," He said, "What time will you be back?"

I turned to look at him, leaning back against the door as I stood in the front entry way. "I don't know for sure. Any time in specific that I need to be back by?"

"About 10, I suppose. Where are you going? Are you going to bring your phone?" Dad closed his book as he asked, keeping his thumb in between the two pages he was on and setting the book in his lap. He pulled his reading glasses off as he stared at me.

I shrugged. "I'm gonna walk over to Olivia's. And yes, Dad, I'll bring my phone. I always do. Text me if you need me home before 10, but if not, I'll head back around 9:45 or so." 

Dad nodded, putting his reading glasses back on and pulling his book back open. "Have fun, sweet heart. Tell Olivia I said hi."

I walked up to him, kissing his cheek softly. As I turned, I glanced down at the coffee table that was beside the edge of the couch Dad was sitting on. His necklace was resting on the coffee table beside the table lamp. I sighed, staring at the half - star, then walked back up the door and opened it. I walked out, closing the door behind me and walked down the walk way and to the end of the driveway.

The air was moist and humid. The ground was still wet from the early spring rain fall, and the grass became more green from a couple weeks back when Spring first begun. I walked down the side of the street, towards Olivia's house, looking at the flowers that were blooming in my neighbors bushes. One house had a rose bush. The house had been abandoned years ago, but some of my neighbors came by the house each day it didn't rain to sprinkle a little bit of water on the bush so it didn't die. 

Once I came up to Olivia's house, which was just a few blocks down from mine, I walked up her walk way and onto the patio. There was a white rocking chair on the deck. I knocked her door, and her brother came up to the door to open it. "Oh, hey Kellin." He said, looking at me. 

I waved softly, "Hi Tanner." 

Tanner was about 6'0 and had long, shaggy brunette hair. He had deep green - blue eyes that would probably make his other half melt inside when she looked into his eyes. He wore several bracelets on each wrist, each of them band bracelets, and wore long band t - shirts just about everyday. I don't think I've seen him without a band t - shirt on. He was about 16, turning 17 this summer. 

"Is Olivia home?" I asked, looking at him. 

Tanner shook his head, twisting and playing with the half - star that hung from his chest. It was the opposite half than mine, but all females and males got opposite halves from each other. "But you can come in and hang out with me, if you'd like. I don't have anyone coming over, and Olivia might be home soon."

I smiled softly at his invitation, "Okay, thank you." 

Tanner stepped aside, letting me into the house. I walked in, smelling the clean scent of Olivia's home. I don't remember what air freshener she said she used; my mother had always used a crisp scent of Apple Cider and Cinnamon, so I was used to that smell. But the smell of Olivia's house smelled clean and fresh, almost like the smell of laundry coming out of the dryer. 

I could hear Tanner close the door. I slipped my sneakers off and walked into the kitchen, sitting on one of the bar stools. Tanner walked over to the other side of the table, leaning over and towards me. "So what brings you over?"

Shrugging, I replied. "Don't know. Just wanted to hang out, I guess. I finished my essay, every last detail."

Tanner nodded slowly. "Well, Olivia's with Taylor, I think."

I nodded, and so did Tanner. Olivia was one of the luckiest ones in our grade, probably our entire high school that had found her other half already in her fresh man year. Most people don't find their half until Senior year, or even after that like my parents. 

Tanner sighed, loud and deeply, pulling away from the counter. I watched him, playing with his half - star again. He chuckled softly, "I hate this thing so much." He said.

I looked up at him, "Why's that?"

Tanner shook his head, pulling back further and walking to the stairs that led down to their basement. "I'm just gonna go down into my room. If Olivia isn't home in a few minutes, I'll have her text you once she's home."

I didn't want to him to leave me up here alone. But I nodded, curling my lips together without saying anything in response to him. He slammed the door, and I could hear his heavy footsteps go down and down the stairs.

For a few minutes, I sat in solitude on the bar stool, twisting my body around a little bit so that the bar stool twisted to one side as far as it'd go, then switch directions and go as far as it'd go that way. Then repeat. The only noises in the room were the creaking of the bar stool as it twisted, round and round. 

After a bit, I got up from the bar stool and walked to the front door, holding onto the handle. I slipped my sneakers back on, opening the door and stepping outside. It was pouring rain, and the only thing that was preventing me from getting soaked was the roof that was pulled over the patio. I sighed, pulling my hood over my hair. "Looks like I'm running home," I whispered to myself.

I took a deep breath, and then dashed out from under the patio, running down the walk way and down the driveway. I ran down the street, looking straight ahead of me, letting the rain blow on my face. It was cold, and felt like little mini icicles hitting against my cheek bones, my forehead, my face. The rain hit my legs too, making them more sore then just running by myself. 

I started crying from the sore - ness of my legs. The sore - ness of my face. I wanted to fall down and cry, but I let my tears stream down my face, and I kept running until I reached my house. As soon as I ran up the steps to the patio of my house, I pressed myself against the door and cried a little bit, closing my eyes tightly as my legs shook. It felt like needles were pressing in and through my leg muscles, and I had no choice but to sit there and take it.

I wiped my tears with the palms of my hands, sniffling a little bit. I bent over, rubbing the calves of my legs slow and gently. I gripped my knees a little bit, letting the last few tears trickle down my face and hit the patio. Slowly, I stood up straight again and walked into my house. Ron looked up from his phone and lifted his snap back up over his eyes some so he could see. "Kellin, what happened?" He got up, putting his phone on the couch where he was sitting.

"I ran home," I looked up at him, pulling my hood off from my hair. "It's pouring out there, I didn't want to get anymore wet than I had to." 

Ron nodded a bit, curling his lips together for a bit. "Well, you should take a warm shower and get into clean clothes so you don't get a cold. Summer's coming soon, it'd suck for you to be sick with a cold just because of a little rain."

I took my sneakers off and walked over to the stairs. "Okay, will do. Where's Dad?" I asked, grabbing onto the handle of the stairway as I walked up the steps slowly.

"He went to the store," Ron responded, watching me. "I don't know when he'll back. But if he's back before you get out of the shower, I'll tell him you're home."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged, walking down the hall once I reached the top step. "I don't think that'll be too hard to figure out. There's only three of us in the house. If you're not in the shower, who will be?"

There was silence from me basically mentioning Mom's death. I could hear Ron's foot steps slowly start back up again as he started walking again. I sighed, looking down at the floor. A shower was just what I needed right now. Something to soothe me down. I grabbed a towel from the cabinet next to the bathroom and walked into the bathroom, tossing the towel onto the bathroom counter. I bent over the side of the tub, turning the water on. I grabbed clean clothes from my room, folding them and putting them in the basket, tucked into the corner of the bathroom counter and against the wall. I stripped myself down, keeping my clothes on the floor. I looked at my body in the mirror, covering my breasts with my arm and holding my hip softly. I hated my hour - glass figure.

Slowly, I stepped into the shower, pulling up the tab so that the water came out from the shower head. I ducked underneath the water, letting the warmth and the steam over power me until I was soothed down and standing under the water doing nothing. Just standing still, enjoying the water hitting against my body, running down my sides and to the tub floor, then rolling down into the drain. I took a deep breath, leaning back a little bit, wetting my face and my hair. Soon enough, there was nothing on my mind except the warmth of the water. 

Author's Note

Finally finished this chapter ( it's not edited yet ). Give me feedback? :3