The Two Damns

Three friends celebrate their high school graduation with a night full of laughs, firsts, and uncertainty.

One more. Nice. One more. Come on, you got one more in you. If you don’t get strong, you won’t be able to beat any runner next season. Even if it’s a little dribbler. Come on!

 

Josh roared with exhaustion as he finished the final bicep curl in his last set, letting gravity bring his arm back down to flail at his side. He plopped down on the beaten-up workout bench his neighbor gave to him during the summer between sixth and seventh grade that he used every day since. It was the first place he ever learned how to work out, and as far as he was concerned, it was the exact place where Josh Montez became a man. 

 

            He was finishing up his second workout of the day- the first was a condition circuit put on by his dad to get him ready for college ball. There was no way he was going to be red-shirted during his first semester. He was going to play, and he was going to play so well he’d get offers for the Majors before even had a degree. He was going to finish of course, his parents would kill him otherwise, but the point still stood. Josh was up at the crack of dawn and went to the football field at his old high school. A lot of the kids that graduated went on to leave town and never come back, let alone go visit the old cathedral of adolescent angst and evolution in which they turned into young adults. Not Josh, barely a week after he crossed stage he was back at his alma mater running miles and getting a face full of artificial turf doing enough pushups and burpees for an entire platoon of Navy SEAL cadets. Just like high school all over again. 

 

            Josh stared at himself in the cracked floor mirror that had been discarded from his little sister’s room after their puppy decided to run a Godzilla-style rampage of destruction through it, knocking the mirror over and leaving a jagged chunk missing from the bottom right side and a massive fissure running its length. Josh reviewed his physique almost daily and searched for even the tiniest of imperfections. Every day, he found something about himself that he didn’t like. His abs didn’t pop out enough, he couldn’t see the vein on the inside of his forearm, his shoulders weren’t quite wide enough. Micro imperfections like these- that undoubtedly only he would notice- drove Josh into a frenzy and caused him to go through his workout with a rage that, on a couple of occasions, nearly made him pass out. Today’s fatal flaw was the undercut of his chest, which in his eyes seemed to wither into a gelatinous sack with no traceable signs of muscle. He finished putting weights on a partially-rusted Olympic-style bar when his phone went off.

 

            “Yo,” said Josh as he put the phone on speaker and plopped it on the bench.

 

            “What are you doing?” said Justin.

 

            “Just working out, wassup?” said Josh. He slid two 45 pound plates onto each end of the bar.

 

            “What are you doing later? Wait, am I on speaker?” 

 

            “Yeah, why?”

            

            “Take me off.”

 

            “Why?”

            

            “Just take me off.”

 

            “Why?”

 

            “Well if I told you, it would defeat the purpose of taking me off, wouldn’t it? Now do it!”

 

            Josh picked up his phone and nearly hung up instead of sending the call audio through the receiver. He was mentally bracing in anticipation for the latest round of shenanigans that he inevitably knew his friend was going to try to drag him into.

 

            “F*****g what?” said Josh as he put the phone to his ear.

 

            “Well Mr. Sunshine, it turns out that Richard and Theresa are going up to Napa for the weekend.”

 

            “So?”

 

            “So I have the house all to myself.”

 

            “So?” said Josh. Justin’s next-door neighbor was in charge of the neighborhood watch- he already called the police on them once just for having a bonfire one minute past the 11:00pm citywide curfew.  

 

            “And if you remember from last week, good ol’ Rich bought a keg of beer for my grad party, and there’s a lot of it left.”

 

            “So you want me to come over and help you drink that s****y beer?” 

 

            “Absolutely.”

 

            “Dude you know I started conditioning, I can’t.”

 

            Justin wanted to slap Josh through the phone. It was the beginning of their last summer together- which was already cut short because Josh was leaving in July for camp- and all he could think about was baseball.

 

            “Dude, come on. Just come over, have a few cold ones, and leave. No biggie. You’ll still be up tomorrow early enough to go get your nails done.”

 

            “I told you man, I can’t.”

 

            “But you totally can,” said Justin.

 

 In the literal sense, of course Josh could, all he had to do was ask his mom to borrow the car and he’d be at Justin’s house in less than ten minutes. But what he didn’t want to do was deal with a barrage of questions about where he was going, what time he was going to be back, as well as the scornful look and tone his mother would give him when she found out he was going to hang out with her least favorite person on the planet- Justin Richard Bishop. 

 

“I don’t know bro,” said Josh.

 

“Come on! It’s not like my parents are here and are going to tell your mom or something!” said Justin.

 

            Josh paused. “Well, what about Cam?”

 

            “Cam? Are you serious? He doesn’t give a f**k! He lit up a joint in the middle of the living room as soon as my dad closed the front door!”

 

            “I don’t know man,” said Josh. The thought of a peaceful night inside watching highlights and laying around his living room had been dancing around in his head all day.

 

            “Come on,” said Justin, “Boy’s night. It’ll be super chill.”

 

            “Well, I guess I can come over. And have like one. Just for a little while. But I have to leave early,” said Josh. He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. 

 

            “Sounds good. See you in a little bit,” said Justin, “Oh, and can you bring over some snacks or something? We’re fresh out. Thanks!”

 

            Justin hung up the phone and Josh looked around his garage. Here we go, he thought to himself.

 

II

 

            Josh parked his mom’s car a block away from Justin’s house just on the off chance someone would see it and recognize it. He walked down the cold street, illuminated only by a single flickering lamp, and held himself, shivering. Why did I come here? He thought to himself. 

 

            Justin’s front door opened before Josh even reached it. Corey stood in the doorway in a pair of sweats and the hoodie commemorating their senior year at North County High School. He had already taken his shoes off.

 

            “You decided to show up,” said Corey, taking his friend in an embrace, “What’s up dude?”

 

            “What’s going on?” said Josh, “Where’s dickhead?”

 

            “Dickhead is downstairs in the garage, trying to figure out how to get that kegger to work. Come on,” said Corey, motioning towards Justin’s kitchen. The living room was in total darkness, except for a light beaming down the staircase from the second floor. 

 

            “Hang on, I’m gonna go say what’s up to Cam,” said Josh.

 

            “Alright I’ll meet you downstairs,” said Corey, disappearing into the basement. Josh heard the rumble of him going down the stairs as he climbed the other set in the house to go to the second level.

 

            Cameron’s room was on the right side at the end of a long hallway that contained all of the Bishop bedrooms, as well as their parents’ office. His door was slightly ajar, with light and trap music trickling out from its crack.  

 

            “Yo, what’s up Cam?” said Josh. He peeked inside to see Cameron passed out face-down on his bed. What was left of a joint was in a glass ashtray on his bedside table, still letting off a little smoke as it withered into nothing. That explains the open window, it’s freezing in here, thought Josh.

 

            He descended back down both sets of stairs and entered Justin’s garage. It was cleaner than any other Josh had ever seen- even his own. Two sets of neon green and pink skis from the 1980’s hung on the wall as well as a shelf full of bowling trophies that sat collecting dust. Other that than, the Bishop’s had made a concerted effort for their garage to be a place that they could enjoy for leisure- or to hide from each other. Justin used it for that the most. He had his video game console and gaming chair set up down there, allowing him to stay up all night on Mountain Dew-infused benders, screaming at his TV whenever he lost. 

 

            “Well the prodigal son has joined us,” said Justin, bent over a silver keg trying to fiddle with the valve at the top of it, “You guys know how these f****n’ things work?”

 

            “Did you try pumping it,” said Corey, “You know, to pump the beer out.”

 

            Justin grabbed a small ball at the top of the keg pump and tried to pump it up and down four times. Nothing came out of the small hose that protruded from the bottom of the pump. “Yeah, really good idea Corey. I can feel myself getting drunk already.”

 

            Corey rolled his eyes at Josh. With any luck, they’d be able to get a drink out of there by the time they turned 21. 

 

            “F****n A,” said Justin after struggling with it for five minutes, “Can someone just Google it or something? Corey? Are you f*****g sleeping right?”

 

            Corey had resigned himself to the tattered flower-pattern couch, which used to be in the Bishops’ living room, where he closed his eyes and began to doze off. He woke with a startle. 

 

“Yeah I got it,,” said Corey, “Sorry.” 

 

He whipped out his phone and searched “How to use a keg of beer”, finding a step-by-step guide on how to use a tap on a website devoted to fraternity and sorority life in college. 

 

            “Hey Justin, is it tapped?” said Corey, clearly irritated.

 

            Justin looked up, completely confused. “What does that even mean?”

 

            “You know, if its tapped. Like a tap. At a bar. The thing that the bartender pulls on to give you beer,” said Corey.

 

            “Man Cornelius is full of wisdom tonight,” said Justin with a bite, “Clearly we’re all the same age, so you should know I’ve never been to a bar before.”

 

            Corey hated his first name with a passion, and all of his friends knew never to call him that or it would send him into a rage. Josh was worried that he’d run over and kick Justin in the side of the head, but Corey stood his ground. 

 

            “Yeah, that’s really f*****g funny. Have fun figuring it out,” said Corey as he closed his phone.

 

            “Oh god d****t Corey knock it off. Will you please help me?” said Justin. 

 

            Corey walked over to the keg and examined it. He was the most mechanically inclined out of any of his friends due to years of changing the oil and spark plugs in his parents’ cars as well as constantly repairing the lawn mower and leaf blower he used to landscape. He knelt down and inspected the keg. The pump wasn’t going down all the way, and that the base of it seemed to be twisted out of a socket at the top. He tightened the pump and it twisted into place.

 

            “Oh,” said Justin. 

 

            Corey pushed down a lever that made a clicking sound into the keg as it tapped it. He stood up in victory. That was the last time Justin would ever call Corey by his first name. Justin tried to avoid eye contact with him as he walked up the stairs into the kitchen.

 

            “Well where the f**k is he going now?” said Josh.

 

            Corey turned to his friend. “F**k if know.”

 

            “Did you end up getting that girl’s number the other day?” said Corey. 

            

            “Hell yeah I did,” said Josh. During Justin’s grad party, Josh rounded a corner and fell in love at first sight with a girl he’d never seen before. Her dad was a friend of Justin’s dad, and they hit it off right away. 

 

            “You text her yet?” said Corey. Although never in a relationship himself, Corey was Josh’s go-to relationship and romance advisor. Most of the advice he gave was pretty good according to Josh. If only he had the courage to try and approach a girl himself. 

 

            “Nah, not yet,” said Josh, “There’s no rush.”

 

            “It’s been almost a week,” said Corey.

 

            “And? I got time. Not leaving until July 5^th anyway,” said Josh. Corey’s face froze with sadness. They didn’t talk about Josh leaving. 

 

            “Yeah. I guess,” said Corey, “Anyway, she seemed cool from when I first met her, so go for it.”

 

            “I will, I will. Could you do me a favor though? Could you not say anything to Justin? He gets all weird whenever I mention girls. And I think she said that he was kind of eyeing her the entire time.”

 

            “Yeah, I got you,” said Corey. Another secret of Josh’s to keep. Great. 

 

            Justin came running down the stairs with three red plastic cups in his hands. “Let’s do this s**t. I’m so happy Rich and Theresa went out of town. He wouldn’t let me have a single drop out of this thing at the party. Come on.”

 

            Justin yanked a red cup out of the stack and with one hand held it up to the nozzle protruding from the pump. With the other, he grabbed the little ball at the top and pumped it up and down, awaiting nature’s holiest and most sought-after brew to finally be made available to him. Instead of the amber glow of deliciousness and merriment, an avalanche of foam came spilling into Justin’s cup. 

 

            “What the f**k?” said Justin, beside himself. “What the f**k is?” 

 

            “Foam, best I can see,” said Josh. Corey had begun howling with laughter and clutched his gut while he walked around the room. 

 

            “Yeah no s**t it’s foam. Yo, shut up Corey!” said Justin, “Why is it doing this?”

 

            “Because you have to pump the foam out before the beer comes. It’s been sitting for a while, so get to it,” said Corey.

 

            “How do you know that?” said Josh.

 

            “Said it on the Google search, duh,” said Corey.

 

            “Well why didn’t you say something?” said Justin as he began to furiously pump the keg.

 

            “Why didn’t you ask?” said Corey. 

 

            Justin threw his head back and stared at the stealing. “Oh, for f**k’s sake!” he said, eyes closed.

 

            “Well, get pumping,” said Josh. He looked over at Corey who was still red in the face, recovering from his fit of laughter. Justin started pumping the keg, and eventually beer spilled into his cup.

 

            “Thank god!” said Justin as he filled the cup up and set it on the ground next to him. He grabbed a second and started to fill it. “Here, Josh, take this.”

 

            “Thanks,” said Josh as he took the cup. He held it near his chest and pretended to be casual as he watched Corey collect his cup. Justin stood up and wiped the foam off of his hand and onto the pair of sweats he was wearing that almost matched Corey’s. 

 

            “Well gentleman, a toast!” said Justin has he held his cup in the air, “To the rest of our f*****g lives!”

 

            Justin and Corey began to sip their beers while Josh just started into his cup. It was all foam. Obviously, there was liquid in there somewhere, but Josh couldn’t see it. Also, it smelled weird. Like a combination of lawn clippings and a tin can.

 

            “Josh, you good?” said Corey.

 

            “Yeah, what’s your problem?” said Justin.

 

            Josh looked at the beer and then at Corey and Justin with puppy dog eyes, pleading for help. Corey couldn’t figure out what his problem was. Did he not like that type of beer or something? Justin recognized that looked. It was the same look Cameron gave his dad when he tried whiskey for the first time.

            

            “Jesus H. Christ” said Justin, “This is your first time isn’t it?”

 

            Corey turned to Justin. “First time?”

 

            “Drinking a beer!” said Justin. Corey turned to his friend in shock.

 

            “No way! What about the at the lake last summer? You had to have drank then!” said Corey.

 

            Josh shook his head. “No, I didn’t. And from what I remember, you did plenty of drinking for the both of us.”

 

            “Yeah, that’s true,” said Corey, smiling, “What about a couple years ago when you went to that huge party at Randy’s house on Fourth of July? Wasn’t it a total rager?”

 

            “Yeah but I spent most of the time hanging out with my aunt and her friends,” said Josh, “She’s super cool.”

 

            Justin rolled his eyes. He could just picture Josh sitting around a glass outdoor table surrounded by a white trash version of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “Alright. Well. Drink it then!”

 

            Josh looked at the cup. “I don’t know man.”

 

            “Well, you better know,” said Corey, “Because once you get to college, it’s going to be parties up the a*s and two-day long benders that you won’t even remember! Might as well get in the practice now!”

 

            Justin nodded in agreement. “He’s right.”

 

            Josh looked at the cup one more time and took a deep breath. If there was any good time, this was it, he thought to himself. What if it was gross? What if he was allergic? Can you be allergic to beer? Or worse, what if he really liked it?

 

            “Alright fuckers, cheers,” said Josh. The boys clanked their cups together and each took a sip. Josh was overwhelmed by a sea of foam and metallic-tinged carbonated liquid that filled his mouth. He swallowed and let out a belch that set his nose on fire. 

 

            “Justin, what the f**k?” said Corey. 

 

            “That tastes awful,” said Josh.

 

            Justin swallowed his beer and took a look at his cup. “Whoops.”

 

            “Yeah “whoops”, it’s f*****g warm!” said Corey.

 

            “Beer’s supposed to be cold dude, even I know that!” said Josh.

 

            Justin thought it would have stayed cool down in the garage considering most nights have had to put on a hoodie and cover himself with a blanket to even find the place inhabitable. 

 

            “Well, what if we put ice in it?” said Justin.

 

            Corey just about lost his mind. “Ice in beer? Are you nuts?”

 

            Josh sat down on the old sofa and stared at the cup. Everyone his age was always foaming at the mouth to get their hands on some beer. They’d have fake ID’s made. Steal it. Get caught. Get arrested or suspend, and then start the cycle all over again. Now that he tasted it, Josh really couldn’t understand why. 

 

            “Well I don’t know man,” said Justin.

            

            “I’m not drinking this,” said Corey, “Where’s your parents’ liquor cabinet?”

 

            “No way! You remember what happened last time Cam took s**t out of there?” said Justin, “He literally didn’t leave his room for three weeks. I don’t know how he even went to the bathroom! That’s not happening to me just because you don’t like the temperature of this free beer!”

 

            “Fine,” said Corey as he exhaled. He had wanted to see what Josh would be like when he was drunk for a long time. Now was finally his chance, and he didn’t want to miss it. His bet was that Josh would be sloppy and emotional. Time to find out. “Josh, you’re in this too.”

 

            Josh snapped out of his daydream and looked up at Corey. “No way man, that stuff’s nasty!”

 

            “How would you even know? You’ve never had beer before! Idiot,” said Justin. 

 

            “He’s got you there dude,” said Corey.

 

            “Well I tried this and I don’t like it!” said Josh.

 

            “Yeah nickel for every time a girl said that to you before,” said Justin.

 

            “He’d be so rich he could afford to buy you a refrigerator for your keg,” said Corey.

 

 “Oh, go f**k yourself,” said Justin over Josh’s laughter, “Now Josh, you’re drinking this, and I don’t want hear another word about it.”

 

Josh and Corey sat down on the sofa while Justin occupied his usual spot whenever he was in the garage- the beaten-up recliner that his dad used as his main football-viewing throne for over a decade. It had imprints in every part of it from his father’s use, and Justin’s thin frame sank right into them.

 

“It hit you guys yet?” said Corey as he struggled to keep a sip of warm suds down. 

 

“Nah, not yet,” said Josh sheepishly. He had yet to make any mental space to deal with the fact that he was leaving home. He told himself he’d get to it eventually. 

 

“F*****g crazy,” said Justin as he put his cup up to his face and nearly turned it upside down. His mouth engulfed every single ounce of beer that was in it.

 

“Jesus man,” said Corey, “You in a rush or something?”

 

Justin exhaled. “Hey man, we’ve been out of high school for a week and this is the first proper celebration I’ve had,” he said as he stood up and walked over to the keg. He poured himself another and sat back down. “Much better than that stupid party that we had the other day. Would have much rather have gone to Hawaii or something.”

 

“Poor guy,” said Josh, “He wanted to go to a tropical paradise but instead had a party where people gave him a shitload of money. Justin’s post-grad life is really starting off rough.”

 

“I still can’t believe it,” said Corey, “It’s all over. North County High School is just another thing in the rearview mirror.”

 

“And we’re all survivors of it,” said Justin, taking a swig, “A run-down, piece of s**t school, in a run-down piece of s**t town that pumps out hopeless, clueless schmucks like us like an assembly line. God bless.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” said Corey, raising his cup above a faded and chipping coffee table, “Josh, get in this and actually have some of your beer.”

 

            “Yeah dude,” said Justin as he leaned over and met his friends’. Josh mustered up enough courage to drink half of the cup in one go. It wasn’t as bad the second time, he thought. Or maybe his taste buds just got burned off by the first round. 

 

            “Honestly, I’m going to miss it,” said Corey after a long silence. “A lot of those kids we grew up with, you know. All the way back to kindergarten. It’s going to be weird not seeing them.”

 

            Justin scoffed. “I’m not gonna miss a single thing about it. The people. The homework. Those stupid teachers that think they know a god damn thing just because there’s a $100,000 piece of paper on their wall. It’s all a sham.”

 

            “I’m gonna miss my teammates,” said Josh. He was the only one of them that got recruited to an in-state, four-year school. Come August, everyone was either driving out to Missouri or trying out for the team at the local community college. 

 

            “Yeah, I bet you will,” said Justin, “Buncha knuckle-draggers and half-wits if you ask me. Except for you of course, you’re the only one with half a brain. Just half.”

 

            Justin made his disdain for Josh’s baseball teammates, as well as the entire institution of scholastic athletics as a whole, well known. To him, they were just another excuse for schools to make money off of free child labor. 

 

            “Justin, you tried out for the golf team freshman year and didn’t make the cut, we get it,” said Corey. He knew that was the real reason Justin hated sports, but he would never admit it. 

 

            “Water rolling off my back dude,” said Justin as he finished his second beer, “Josh, finish that, I’m going to get you another.”

 

            Josh braced himself and chugged the second half of the beer with a wince and handed the cup to Justin. 

 

            “Well look at you,” said Corey, “Finally grew some hair on your chest.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess,” said Josh with a belch, “Hey dude, I think I’m gonna pass on that second beer. I gotta go home at some point.”

 

            “Don’t even worry about that, chief,” said Justin as he handed Josh his beer, “You’re sleeping here. And we are going to get good and toasty. Now cheers.”

 

            I didn’t actually tell mom if I was coming home, Josh thought to himself. And I kicked my workout’s a*s today. One night won’t hurt. “Alright, fine,” said Josh.

 

            “Good answer,” said Corey, “Hey, where’s Danny?”

 

            Justin rolled his eyes. “Mom wouldn’t let him leave the house. That f*****g woman I swear to god. I love Danny and all, don’t get me wrong, but she doesn’t let him leave the damn house without a GPS and a leash around his neck, and it’s turned him into a f*****g pansy.”

 

            “Well you’re just in a great mood tonight,” said Josh.

 

            “Yeah really,” said Corey. He was used to Justin’s usual colorfully-laced hot takes on the daily happenings of life, but tonight there was more venom in his voice than usual. 

 

            “What are you guys talking about, I’m fine.” said Justin, taking a drink. Josh matched him, but with a bigger gulp.

 

            “Just seem tense, is all,” said Corey.

 

            “Well good thing I have a beer,” said Justin, pointing at his cup.

 

            Josh continued to keep on par with Justin and Corey as the night progressed. Each time they took a swig, he would be careful to take just a little bit of a bigger one. It hurt at first- the beer tingled his entire mouth and frothed around in his stomach, making him feel bloated. After almost two hours, he had to wonder how people drank this stuff so regularly.  

 

            “Alright, I’m bored as s**t. You guys want to play a drinking game?” said Justin after they finished their second episode of South Park. 

 

            “What do you mean?” said Josh. 

 

            “You know. Like Baseball. But if you lose, you drink,” said Justin. His speech was beginning to slightly slur, but other than that, he seemed normal. 

 

Josh on the otherhand was learning about the human metabolic process in an entirely new way. By his rough estimate, beer took about a half an hour to start to kick in. He had drank five in the last hour or so, with a sixth in his hand, so he should be feeling the full effects of his newfound liquid joy in another 26 or so minutes. Not that he needed to feel more. His entire body had gone numb and every movement of his body made him feel almost lucid. Like he wasn’t even really there.

 

            “Sure,” said Josh quickly, “How?”

 

            “Corey, help me,” said Justin. They both stood up and walked over to the corner of the garage where a folding table was leaning against the wall. They grabbed either end and dragged it next to the couch. When they unfolded it, it was revealed to be bifurcated down the middle, with each side having a matching triangle made of circles.

 

“This is beer pong, isn’t it?” said Josh as the unfolded the table and set it on the ground.

 

“Yessir,” said Corey, “You got cups?” 

 

“Yeah, be right back,” said Justin as he ran back upstairs.

 

Josh stood up and looked at the table. His neighbors had a similar one and would pull it out to use in their garage during holiday weekends every year. They invited him to play a couple times, but his parents would never let him. 

 

“You good dude?” said Corey with a smile on his face. Josh was slowly swaying in place- a typical sign of being nearly over the edge. Realizing he could fall over at any second, Josh sat on the arm rest of the couch.  

 

“Yeah I’m- I’m good,” said Josh, trying to look as sober as possible. It clearly only made him look worse than he actually was, because Corey nearly started laughing.

 

“My man’s getting drunk,” said Corey, “’Bout damn time. I don’t know how many times one of your teammates would pull me aside and ask why you were such a f*****g square.”

 

“Did they really-“

 

“Alright you fuckers ready?” said Justin as he re-appeared from upstairs, this time with an entire stack of red cups. He broke them in half and handed a stack to Corey.

 

“Alright Joshy boy, here’s what’s going on,” said Justin as they began to place the cups in the circles, “We take turns, and you’re gonna try to toss a ball into the cup on the opposite side of the table. Overhand only- no sissy s**t- and whoever gets a ball in all ten cups first, wins.”

 

“You can also bounce it into the cup,” said Corey, “Oh and if you get it in one cup, you get another turn right away. Justin, do you have a ball?”

 

Justin reached into his pocket and pulled out an orange ping-pong ball. “Yup.”

 

“Sweet,” said Corey as he took a sip of beer. Justin and Corey filled up all twenty cups from the keg while Josh waited there, trying to ward off the effects of the alcohol. His eyes were starting to feel heavy and his ears began to buzz. Maybe drinking six beers right out of the gate was a bad idea. 

 

Justin and Corey laid out the cups on their respective sides and stood opposite one another. “Should we do eyes?” said Corey.

 

            Josh had no clue what they were talking about. 

 

            “Nah dude, let me play against the noob,” said Justin, “Just let him start.”

 

            Corey shrugged. “Alright,” he said as he sat down on Josh’s recliner.

 

            “Alrighty Josh,” said Justin, tossing him the ball, “Since you’re the newest at this, you go first.”

 

            Josh barely reacted in time to catch the little orange orb Justin hucked at him. Yep, definitely too many beers, he thought to himself. He took one wobbly step back from the table and tried to aim the ball at the cups. They were blurry off in the distance, almost like he wasn’t wearing his contact lenses. Finally, he tossed the ball and sent it flying over the table and right passed Justin.

 

            “Looks like the golden-armed second baseman can’t transfer his skills that easily,” said Corey with a smile. 

 

            “F**k off,” said Josh, “It’s my first time.”

 

            “Another nickel for every time a girl said that to you,” said Justin as he returned from the corner of the garage with the ball.

 

            “He’d be able to buy you a second fridge for the keg just to make sure it didn’t get cold,” said Corey.

 

            “God d****t Corey, shut up!” said Justin.

 

            “Woah, chill out man. Just f*****g around,” said Corey, “Although don’t think I’m ever going to forget that you made me leave the comfort of my own bed just to drink piss-flavored warm beer.”

 

            “Yeah, well, it’s better than any other plans you had tonight,” said Justin, “Now shush. The master finally has a turn.” He flicked his wrist and sent the ball right into the cup at the tip of the triangle. Josh followed the ball with his eyes and looked up at Justin in awe.

 

            “Man, not even a bounce. That’s cold,” said Corey, “Alright Josh, drink up. Looks like you’re in for a fun one.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess,” said Josh. He was starting to feel a little more alert. Maybe the alcohol was wearing off. With one massive gulp he took in all of the beer in the cup Justin’s ball had landed in. It was even warmer now that it had been sitting out for a few minutes. He felt his throat lurch, and started to gag.

 

            “Uh oh, you good?” said Corey.

 

            “Come on dude, we only went one round!” said Justin. 

 

            Josh regained control of himself and felt the beer gurgling in his stomach. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he said. 

 

            “Thank god,” said Justin, “Alright you’re next. Here.”

 

            Justin tossed the ball, and it went flying right by Josh and bounced on the floor and then against the wall of the garage. Corey looked at Justin with sharp eyes as he grabbed the ball, trying to pretend nothing was wrong.

 

            “Alright, let’s go,” said Josh. 

 

            “Are you sure you want to keep going?” said Corey. 

 

            “Yeah, why?” said Josh.

 

            “Yeah, what the hell Corey?” said Justin.

 

            “He’s clearly fucked up” said Corey, pointing at Josh.

 

            “Am not!” said Josh, “I feel fine!”

 

            “Yeah Corey, quit being a downer,” said Justin, “Now you’re up princess.”

 

            Corey was waiting for the beer pong game to end in disaster, just like it did for him the first time he had anything to drink. Justin kept landing shot after shot, making Josh force the warm elixir down. Every time the ball landed into one of the cups, Justin seemed to get happier and happier-like he wanted his friend to feel absolutely miserable the next morning. Josh managed to land only one shot the entire game, which Justin gladly ingested, with even a bit of a smirk on his face. Finally, Justin landed a shot into the final cup. The game was over.

 

            “Alright, well that’s about that,” said Justin. He loudly belched and grabbed a red cup next to the keg and began to fill it. “Josh, one rule I didn’t tell you about was that when you lose the game, you have to chug an entire beer. So here you go.”

 

            Corey stood up. “Dude come on. Too far!” he said.

 

            “Why are you being such a downer tonight?” said Justin as he handed the cup to Josh, “Calm the f**k down.”

 

            “Yeah Corey! Calm the f**k down! Nerd! I feel great!” said Josh, “I love being drunk! Why didn’t I do this before?” 

 

            “Because you were too busy lifting weights and working out with that dumb baseball team,” said Justin, “Now drink.”

 

            “Oh Jesus,” said Corey. Josh held the cup to his mouth and chugged the entire thing. Corey could barely watch.

 

            “Man. You know. That stuff gets easier to drink the more you drunk!” said Josh, “I didn’t even notice it was warm.”

 

            “Yeah because you’re shitfaced dude,” said Corey, “That’s what happens. Now go sit down before you fall over. Drunk a*s.”

 

            Josh waddled over to the couch and sprawled over it like it was a bed. His face drooped as he looked around the room, ears ringing. I love my friends, he thought to himself. Those guys. Those guys have my back- through thick and thin. Much better than my a*****e teammates. I’m gonna miss them when I leave.

 

            “Dude we gotta get him some water,” said Corey.

 

            “He’s fine!” said Justin.

 

            “No he’s not, just look at him!” said Corey, “Straight slumped dude.”

 

            Justin scanned his friend up and down. He looked like he was on another planet. “Fine,” he said with a sigh, “Get him some f****n’ water. Did you bring snacks?”

 

            Corey froze. “S**t. No, I forgot.”

 

            “Great well he’s gonna need something to eat, and now I don’t have anything!” said Justin as he threw his hands up in the air and let them slap his sides. “Nice move, a*****e!”

 

            “Nice move? Don’t you have a f*****g refrigerator?” said Corey, “Your mom feeds us all the time!”

 

            “Yeah, but there’s nothing in there right now besides casserole and mashed potatoes!” said Justin, “I thought you were bringing something!”

 

            “Well I didn’t so we have to figure it out!” said Corey.

 

            “You figure it out,” said Justin, “Order something, or go to the liquor store around the corner. They have food. Either way, not my problem!”

 

            “You know what your problem is Justin?” said Corey, shoving a finger in his friend’s face, “You start all this s**t and take no responsibility and expect everyone else to clean it up for you!”

 

            “Oh yeah?” said Justin, “Well at least I like to have fun! You’re just sitting in the corner sipping on your beer like it’s f*****g tea!”

 

            “Because I don’t want to be a drunken a*****e like you are!” said Corey.

 

            “You’re such a f*****g-“

 

            The sound of liquid spilling onto concrete filled the room. Corey and Justin looked at each other, eyes the size of quarters. They glanced over to the couch and saw Josh leaning over its side, with vomit covering a cushion cascading onto the floor.

 

            “Oh s**t,” said Corey.

 

            “F**k! The couch!” said Justin, as he ran over to Josh, “Corey, help me!”

 

            Josh unleashed thrust after thrust of vomit onto the garage floor. The vomiting didn’t subside for minutes as Justin and Corey tried to comfort him. It was every ounce of beer Josh ingested that night, along with his dinner. Who knew it was possible for brussels sprouts and garlic salmon could possibly smell worse than they already did.

 

            “Get me a towel!” said Justin.

 

            “Where the hell are those?” said Corey.

 

            “S**t, I’ll be right back,” said Justin, “Watch him!”

 

            Corey heard Justin run up both flights of stairs. He shuffled over to get closer to Josh’s head while making sure not to run his legs through the lake of vomit on the floor.

 

“How you feeling?” said Corey. The skin on Josh’s face was almost green and his eyelids were barely open.

 

“How do you think?” said Josh, mumbling. Corey laughed.

 

“Yeah if it’s anything close to how you look, you must be feeling like s**t,” said Corey.

 

“Gee, thanks,” said Josh. He rotated his head toward the floor and started to dry heave a mix of air and saliva out of his throat. “Hey Corey.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m never drinking again.”

 

III

 

            Corey and Justin managed to get Josh to drink some water and eat some potato chips out of a unopened bag that Justin found in the back of his kitchen cupboard. Eventually, they helped their friend with the arduous task of climbing the stairs in order to get him onto Justin’s living room couch. They took his shirt off and threw it in the washing machine, and grabbed every type of cleaner, spray, and disinfectant they could to try to clean up the damage done.

 

            “Look at this s**t dude!” said Justin as ferociously tried to scrub the vomit out of the couch in his garage, “When my parents come back, I’m fucked. Nice knowing you dude.”

 

            “Come on, we can clean this up,” said Corey as he mopped the sludge on the floor. His endeavor was proving to be much more successful that Justin’s. 

 

            “Yeah you’re wiping that s**t off of concrete, this fabric is so damn tough it must have been woven by nuns in a seminary back when they still thought the f****n’ Earth was flat,” said Corey, ramming a sponge into the cushion, “F****n’ A! I need a drink!”

 

            “I think the last thing anyone in this house needs is a drink,” said Corey. His light buzz wore off instantaneously the second that he saw Josh throwing up on the floor.  

 

            “Nah I definitely do,” said Justin as he poured more beer into a cup left over from their game of beer pong. “You know, if I manage to get out of this alive, it’ll be a damn good story to tell one day.”

 

            “Oh yeah?” said Corey as he dunked the mop into a bucket full of water.

 

            “Yeah, one of those stories you tell when you’re old and reminiscing about the old days,” said Justin, “Sitting around, drinking a cup of coffee- all that jazz .”

 

            “How romantic,” said Corey. He had almost cleaned up all of the mess from the floor, unlike the massive stain that was on the couch that Corey could practically see seeping into the fabric. No way in hiding what happened now.

 

            “Not like that, idiot,” said Justin as he took a drink, “Josh goes on a bender right after having his first sip of beer ever and yacks it all over my garage? Come on man, you can’t make that s**t up.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess,” said Corey, “Josh looked bad. We shouldn’t have let him drink that much.”

 

            Justin walked back over and sat on the coffee table, causing it to creak. “Eh, he’ll be alright,” he said taking another drink, “Priss could use a little toughening up after being pampered and treated like a princess all these years.”

 

            “Alright, what’s your deal dude?” said Corey, slamming the mop down, “You were coming at Josh hella sideways all night, and I’m half-convinced that you got him that drunk on purpose. Cut the s**t. What happened?”

 

            “Nothing bro,” said Justin, “It’s just. I don’t know. Josh is going away to school. Before we know it he’s going to be in the starting lineup in the goddamn World Series. You’re going to college. Danny. I don’t know what the f**k Danny is gonna do. Probably build rocket ships for SpaceX or some s**t. And here I am. Like I said earlier- a hopeless clueless schmuck that is probably going to end up working at the f****n’ hardware store right across the street from where he went to high school for the rest of his life.”

 

            “First of all, I’m going to the community college,” said Corey, “So I’m just as hopeless as you think you are- which by the way, you aren’t. Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with working at a hardware store- that’s what my great-grandpa did when he first came over here, and he did just fine. Thirdly, what happened to you joining the Local 22 and doing HVAC?”

 

            Justin took a sip and put the cup down. “I placed too low on the entrance exam. Found out today,” said Justin as he kicked the leg of the coffee table with his heel.

 

            “What?” How?” said Corey. That’s why Justin wanted to get drunk tonight. “You read like nine books a week!”

 

            “I don’t know man,” said Justin, “I studied, I swear. I thought the questions were easy, but I bombed it. Too cocky I guess. F**k.”

 

            This was the first time in the entire of their friendship that Corey heard Justin express concern for anything, let alone his future. He was shocked.

            

            “That sucks dude,” said Corey, “I’m sorry.”

 

            Justin stared at the wall of trophies. They were his from when he was in a junior bowling league when he was young. At this rate, he figured, they’d be the only inkling of accomplishment he’d ever have to bear on any walls.

 

 “Yeah,” he said.

 

            “So now what?” said Corey, breaking the silence.

 

            “F**k if I know,” said Justin. He took another drink. The beer was starting to become less enjoyable.

 

            “Well why don’t you go to school with me next year?” said Corey, “I’m only taking general ed. We can do it together!”

 

            Justin shook his head. “School was never my thing Corey, you know that. Just look at how many times I got suspended in the last four years. Guess it makes sense that I failed that stupid exam to get into the union.”

 

            “You gotta do something dude,” said Corey, “School or not, you’re way too smart to just sit on your a*s your entire life.”

 

            “Apparently not,” said Justin with a sigh.

 

            “Dude come on, you can’t just-“

 

            “I know Corey! Ok? I know!” said Justin. He whipped around and faced his friend. “My parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and now you. Everyone’s just riding my a*s about this s**t! You really think it doesn’t bother me? Like I don’t care? It’s f*****g murder!”

 

            Corey stared at the ground. “Sorry man,” he said, “It’s just- I’m worried about you is all. You’re like a brother to me.”

 

            Justin stood up and started pacing around the room. “You know what is fucked? I always get the short end of the stick, and no one ever notices! Who gets held back a year in middle school? Me! Who gets hit with an ADHD diagnosis after years of not doing homework and failing tests? Me! Who can’t get into college because of all of that? Me! And who’s out there that’s going to see me for who I am, and not just numbers on a stupid piece of paper, and give me a chance? Who you know, Corey? F*****g nobody!” He kicked his gaming chair and sent it rolling across the room. Corey could have sworn he saw a tear roll down Justin’s eye.

 

            “It’s just not f*****g fair,” said Justin, “That drunk f****r upstairs has his entire life laid out before him just because he’s good at hitting a stupid ball. Meanwhile I’m here, ten times smarter than he is, and nobody looks at me like I’m worth a damn.”

 

            Justin plopped down on the couch, right into the puddle of Josh vomit, and held his head in his hands.  

 

            “I think you’re worth a damn,” said Corey, “Hell, make it two damns.”

 

            “Yeah,” said Justin, “Table for a party of one, right over here sir.”

 

            “Oh, cut that s**t out,” said Corey, “Justin, you blow all this hot air and act like you’re too cool for school, but you are literally the most thoughtful person I have ever met. You are all of our rocks.”

 

            “Bullshit,” said Justin.

 

            “Oh really?” said Justin, “You think Danny would be friends with us today if you didn’t stick up for him in the first place? No. Probably would have gone through high school without any friends and his anxiety and depression would have been ten times worse. You know that.”

 

            “Whatever,” said Justin.

 

            “Seriously dude,” said Corey, “And me? You think I ever would have come out of my shell if you didn’t force me to take Drama with you sophomore year? Definitely not. I’d be at home by myself playing video games alone and crying myself to sleep like a b***h.”

 

            “Corey, you’re a smart guy,” said Justin, “You’d have figured something out.”

 

            “I don’t know man,” said Corey, “Getting put on stage in the play and tripping in front of half the school and their parents sort of broke my nerves. Everything after that was cake.”

 

            “I’ll never forget the look on your face when that happened,” said Justin with a smile, “God I thought Davies was going to kill me for convincing him to let you be in that show.”

 

            “Yeah well, it was worth it,” said Corey, “Look at me now! I’m outgoing, abrasive, obnoxious, and most people consider me completely intolerable to be around! Couldn’t have done it without you, bud!”

 

            Justin laughed. “Thanks man.”

 

            “But seriously, look. Josh is a pretty boy,” said Corey, “He goes to practice and works out and gets all the girls and is gonna be a big baseball star or whatever. Fine. Cool. But you know what? To me, he’s the same idiot that I grew up with and laughed at for peeing his pants during sleepovers when we were kids. I love the guy, don’t get me wrong, he’s like a brother to me. But this whole superstar thing. It just doesn’t fly. And it shouldn’t with you either.”

 

            “I guess,” said Justin.

 

            “He really cares about you too, you know,” said Corey, “I know we’re supposed to be all tough and hypermasculine and all that s**t all the time, but you’re like a brother to him.” 

 

            “You mean that?” said Justin as he turned to Corey.

 

            “Hell yeah I do,” said Corey, “Told me just the other day. He told me that he’s kind of looked up to you all this time. How you just seem ready for anything life throws at you. And that you always seem to know a little something about everything. Said when he leaves he’s going to miss you almost as much as he’s going to miss me. Almost.”

 

            “S**t man,” said Justin, “I feel like a dick.”

 

            “Eh I wouldn’t worry about it,” said Corey, “He’ll wake up tomorrow, have a headache, all that crap, and then we’ll forget all about this.”

 

            Justin stared at his floor. For what seemed like his entire life, Justin had been in Josh’s shadow, chasing him. Josh was more handsome, performed better in school, actually had the courage to talk to girls, and was practically a celebrity in his own right. Justin loved the man but couldn’t help but feel the slight tinge and pinch of envy every time he saw him. Hearing all this from Corey now made him want to cry. 

 

            “I guess I should start by not feeling so bad about myself all the time,” said Justin sheepishly.

 

            “Oh, don’t worry about it. If I looked like you, I’d feel bad about myself too,” said Corey with a smile. 

            

            Justin snorted. “Yeah. That’s real f****n’ funny”

 

Corey walked over and sat on the old coffee table right across from Justin, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t, you’ll figure it out. Just don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone’s got s**t. And I mean everyone. Don’t forget it. With your brain and personality, you’re going to kick a*s at anything you do. Don’t let all these fuckers that look down on you or try to hold you back tell you otherwise. F**k them.” 

 

Justin looked up. “You’re a good friend Corey.”

 

Corey smiled. “Yeah, don’t tell anyone. I just believe in you man.”

 

            Justin looked at the ground. “You know you’re the only person I’ve ever met that’s ever said that to me? Not even my parents.”

 

            “Well it’s the truth,” said Corey, “Now come on, let’s go upstairs and make sure that drunkard is ok. And also, change your pants. You sat in the puke.”