Angelic, she Was

a poem describing the harsh reality of being a good person in such a cruel world as ours

 

Angelic, she was, a celestial being.

A horrific slaughter, nothing worth seeing.

She closed her eyes in panic,

Hoping to drown the proceeding.

With a knife to her throat, the intention of harm,

She lay there in fear, in total alarm.

A whip to her face and a squeeze of her breast,

The assassin left her completely disarmed.

With blood on her face, tears in her eyes,

Here lays a young girl, awaiting demise.

Desperate, she begs, Distressed she cries,

With a whip of a knife, the end of her world,

a young girl lay bleeding, screaming, then dies

 

Angelic she Was

 

 

Author's Note

One of my first serious poems. Pretty much any feedback would be helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read!

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

neat concept, yeah the world is tilty wicked indeed to the open and unshielded. sad.

as far as the writing, good sense of rhyme, great catches

"She lay there in fear, in total alarm.

A whip to her face and a squeeze of her breast,

The assassin left her completely disarmed.

[angiebangee]

I really like how real it is. Reality isn't always pretty.

[Hedra Helix]

dope, I do think it reads cleaner;) thanks for being open. Good s**t;)

WOW and i mean WOW
So simple and descriptive. You tell the tale of murder in such a graceful way.
-Nice write-
-Satan's Toaster