Dying Dark Desires

Something I feel I need to put on paper.

      It's cold, yet the sun's beams cover me like a warm blanket as I lay in this field. Wind whistles in my ears loud enough to deafen any other sounds. I indulge on my inner thoughts and lose track of simplistic things like time or weather. After a few moments, the clouds I watched rolled by and became different shapes and sizes as they changed direction to whatever pulled them; as if they had no destination, and were just following a pointless journey. Each breeze caused for goosebumps to form on my forearms and sent chills to my neck.
      After a moment of fixation, I decided to sit up. As I did, the world became shaky and a bit blurry, which was when I realized how long I had been laying in this field for. I stood up and brushed off any remaining Earth that was still stuck to my clothes. Turning to my left to make my way back to the park, A figure caught my glimpse. Standing about thirty yards away, with her hands on her hips, and a smile fused to her face was my former darling.
      My face etched a grin that I could not control, despite my lasting depression for the past two years. I looked at the ground for a moment where I was laying, still smiling, and redirected my view back to her, to see if she was still there... She was. I began to approach her instinctively. Long ago it was since I've last touched, held or kissed her, she was almost a stranger by this time; however, I never forgot her, even for a day.
      When my pace finally reached her, I stopped two feet in front of her, and began to smile a little bit more, still hiding my teeth in an attempt to keep composure. She smiled back, hands moving from her hips, and arms open to invite me for a hug... I accept. She buries her left ear into my chest, and leans into me while her arms wrap under mine and meet in the middle of my back. It's not often that someone hugs me, especially someone as beautiful and missed as her. Words do not escape our mouths for many moments; however, the silence is broken when she begins to speak, "Do you miss me?" the innocent words leave her lips like a windy whisper, her angelic voice singing lullabies that I reminisce over ritually.
   "Yes, Every day". I utter, trying not to ruin the moment that I wished for countless times... "No one has ever, will ever replace you, my love". I continue, while hunching over to hold her tight. My hands were resting on either side of her shoulders, my chin laid upon the top of her head.
    I pulled myself away, so that I could kiss her forehead. I repositioned my hands so that we were side by side, and began to walk with her, our hands on each others hips. We made our way to the park entrance, so that I could take her home, and plan out the rest of our evening together. As we walked, she began to talk, "I really did, do love you" she said while holding me tight; "Thing's happen that people can't control, and I understand that, but I'm here now, you don't have to be dead on the inside anymore, I think about you every day, I still want you." She continued. I started walking slower as the entrance of the park became visible, I knew what all this meant, her return to me, the voice that was a stranger to my ears for so long... I knew what it all meant, even if it wasn't healthy, I loved it, because I love her.
    "I want you too, It's been so long since I've seen you, not a day goes by where I don't pray for you to return to me, I'm so glad you're here right now." I aim my glare at the ground, so that I didn't see the park exit as we started closing the distance to it. Her shoes walked coincided with mine like they used to when we walked like this through school together... Such a time feels more like a story than a memory, she's been from my grasp for so long that I feel her slipping every day, and such thoughts kill me inside to the point where I lost much motivation in life because of it... however; she's here now, and once again, joy finds way into my life.
      She breaks the silence; "It's cold out here" she says, while looking at the ground, her hand raises to wipe away a tear that began to form in her right eye. I stopped walking for a moment and positioned myself to face her. I pulled my sleeve over my left knuckle and wiped the tear from her eye, myself, like I used to. I then took off my jacket and threw it over her shoulders and adjusted the front to fit her snug. I raised her chin and stared deeply into her dark green eyes. All audible communication was muffled by the wind as I gazed at her for a moment, smiling all the while. After a few more moments, I moved in closer, as did she. For the first time in almost two years, my lips met with hers and we kissed. The feeling I felt amplified and became entirely euphoric. The moment was almost literally magical, however; she pulled away. I looked at her for a moment, my eyes began to water as she looked to her left... a sign that I remembered meaning she was sad about something. Realization washed over me, and I realized once again why she is here. I leaned in and whispered in her ear; "I miss you, Jess".
         She looked back up at me, her expression matching mine of a deep sadness and she replied "I'm sorry", followed by a soft kiss on my cheek. Then she was gone.
      I woke up nearly instantly after she vanished. I wasn't shocked it was a dream, I've had it before, in different ways, different venues, different dialogue. The outcome of the dream remains the same, however... I miss her always.

Reviews

[Oblivion88]

Thank you for your review, =) and yeah, it's more true than not, but I think that a lot of people can relate to this.

[Faiza Iqbal]

Whoa! I couldn't stop reading it and I wished it would continue on and on.. :P
A very catchy title in a finely described story. I loved the expressions you gave in details! A beautiful story all in all. By the way, is this true?