They say every man is living in his own movie. I've never done anything remotely worthy of a Hollywood action flick. The closest experience was to shout to American Air Force pilots over the din of a airport tarmac, "Welcome to Turkmenistan!" It felt like it was a scripted line that was delivered by someone else.
What are those things I've imagined doing if my life was really to be in movies:
1. Crash a car through a sidewalk fruit stand while pedestrians scatter.
2. Throw a cowboy through a plate glass window.
3. Sword fight along the castle parapets.
4. Arrest the bad buy and tell my back-up to "book this bozo."
5. Tell the Warden that, "there hasn't been a prison made that can hold me."
6. Defuse the time bomb with seven seconds left.
7. Push the plunger that detonates the demolition charges.
8. Start a pie fight.
9. Play an impossibly difficult Rachmaninoff piano concerto leaving the audience in stunned silence.
10. Be told by a presiding official that, "you've made a mockery of these proceedings." (preferably with my pet Macaque monkey, "Mr. Peepers" on my shoulder).