Goodbyes

The twist and turns of grief and goodbyes

So many goodbyes in 2023.

The death of my brother Russ.

I'm trying to not think of me,

Not wanting to make a fuss.

I've pushed down the grief.

Over the past few years.

My parents and a friend past.

Now facing the fears,

Every time I now say goodbye.

It brings up so much loss.

Bewailing like someone else just died.

Ruminating about all that was,

Trepidation and terror sets in.

If I go through another calamity.

Mourning that what could of been.

I plead don't go, am I loosing my sanity?

Fury as to why they have passed.

My world ripped apart.

Then Andy a few year past.

My best friend. oh my heart.

I am decaying silently within.

While trying to be not too gloomy.

Thinking of how it could of been.

So many feelings of melancholy.

Who am I now? so much ambiguity.

Now my mothers tender touch

Gone forever, permanently.

Its intoxicating and too much.

Let me hear their voices.

Please just one more time.

Often seeing their faces.

Mere echoes in the mind.

Muttering "please no more goodbyes".

I'm a whisp of the person before.

Grappling not to nose dive.

As i see sight of the shore

Author's Note

Please leave your thoughts on this xxxx