Rachel was a
young student, she was studying medicine in one of the best colleges in the
world, her parents were rich, her friends lived a few steps from her door, she
had high notes, she was really nice and she always helped people when she could,
so she had a perfect life. Except for her, she liked her life but all she ever
wanted, she couldn't have. She didn't know what that was, but there was
something missing in her life, she never felt complete, in fact she felt empty.
In the other side of the town, lived a man almost
illiterate, never studied in his life, he lived in a small house but he
was humble and a man who knew that his life was complete no matter what. He
used to go to church every Sunday morning. Despite the snow, that Sunday wasn't
an exception- he went anyway. He sat and he seemed to be the happiest person in
the world reading his bible. A few minutes then, he realized that the man who
was supposed to speak that day, was missing, so he decided that he needed to do
something so he started to speak about how we don't need to do nothing to feel
complete, we just have to look to God, believe in him and the rest will just
happen.
When he was talking a girl entered in the church because she
was trying to escape the snowing outside. She sat and she heard the man
speaking.
Guess I don't need to tell that that girl was Rachel, after
that day, she finally knew what was missing in her life.
It was a amazing short story.
"we don't need to do nothing to feel complete, we just have to look to God, believe in him and the rest will just happen. "
The above lines are true. Sometime we can be looking in the wrong places for peace and joy. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote
I felt joy while reading this essay. It's so simple, feels so real and it's meaningful.
Thank you a lot Rute, because I was having a bad time starting from yesterday and I believe in God but stories like this make this believe even stronger.
Good job (:
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Oh so glad it helped you Valérie :) thank you so much :)
Yeah! It's an interesting story coz, this story has it's own 'spiritual inspiration' to inspire others. Am thankful to you that you wrote this story into the words .. it's a really very bright view of the life to being inspired from the write... You didn't even write a story but directed a short film in your words and yeah, i watched a film through your this inspirational write .. in your stunning words...
...Life's what where we live our every-day in a way to know the aim of the life, to make a future bright, to build a wall of careers by collecting every-action, counting the every-step of the day, of the second... to know the actual worth of the life and when we learn the meaning and the worth of the life, we learn what to do in the life to make a life more beautiful with the scent of ours.
'Marvelous' write!
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much , I really appreciated your opinion, I'm really thankfull :D
10 Years Ago
Your welcome! Am glad you enjoyed my review! You know what, You really deserve the such kinda beauti.. read moreYour welcome! Am glad you enjoyed my review! You know what, You really deserve the such kinda beautiful words that suits you your beauty ..after all, your an angel and you've got beautiful eyes so .. how can Neon stay away from being praising the beauty of an angel? Ha!
Your cool! Awesome, beautiful eyes!
You done an awesome job!
There's such a beautiful moral to this, and, Rute, it's really touched my heart because i wasn't expecting that ending.
'.. so he started to speak about how we don't need to do nothing to feel complete, we just have to LOOK to God and believe and the rest will just happen. ' (so he started to speak about how we don't need to do anything to feel complete, we just have to LOOK to God and believe. The rest will happen.)
Your phrasing's a little off in places but that's because you're like the rest of us, still learning. Plus, if I tried to write in Portugese, I couldn't write, not a gasp or .. ! So, many congratulations for creating a tale in pretty good English. The route to fine writing is to read fine books then, watch your thoughts inspire you! :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much for the great words :)
I know my english is not very good, but I do my best and.. read moreThanks so much for the great words :)
I know my english is not very good, but I do my best and I completely understand what you were saying :)
The thought is precious and those who have learned and believe in the love of God will know what you are giving the reader. This story is about a life changing revelation.
The writing feels like English might be you r second or third language or maybe you are very young.
I would try be a little less direct with listing the facts and let your sentences convey one thought or emotion. Then I would try to focus on painting a picture with your words to show the reader an example rather than to tell them. It also may be helpful to reword your thoughts to avoid using the word "but" and the word "so" in the middle of your sentences.
I am a beginner as well Rute. Other writers have given me this same advice in the past and I believe it has been helpful when I can follow it. Keep reading and pay attention to the stories you find captivating your attention. Read back again to see how the authors construct each thought.
Good luck and keep writing!
I enjoyed your sharing of this experience.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thanks a lot :) Yes, english is my second language so I'm really sorry for my mistakes :/ I'll try t.. read morethanks a lot :) Yes, english is my second language so I'm really sorry for my mistakes :/ I'll try to improve.
Do not feel bad for writing something I could understand and relate to very well. I have no skill o.. read moreDo not feel bad for writing something I could understand and relate to very well. I have no skill or talent with languages myself. You should feel proud of your ability to communicate well in a second tongue.
We all strive to improve our abilities to communicate.
Also, we are here to share life experiences. It is not always about writing the perfect story or the best poem.
Please do not feel bad at all. Just keep reading and keep writing. You will improve your skills. I am a beginner too. We can learn together. :)
11 Years Ago
I don't feel bad don't worry. I completely understand what you're saying :)
11 Years Ago
Good! :)
I can be too blunt. I mean no disrespect.