Star light fall

Star light fall upon me

Let your midnight serenade still my worried voice

Caress my soul in splendor

Your faint light like my hope

 

Midnight let me be

Strange calm surround the world in which I stand

Lay me down to a heavenly slumber

Star dust all around

 

Still the night wind

Let me listen to the glide of ancient light

Falling or reaching up

From worlds long gone by

 

Lay with me tonight

Stay with me tonight

Feel it course through me electric

Feel it course through you perfected

 

No eloquent words will do

When I lay upon you my pillow

Holding my heavenly gaze in your lap

Seeing stars light in their lamps

 

So let star light fall upon us

Let the full moon crest the ridge

Past bridge past the present

Let our future soon begin

 

The only hope my hand is holding

Not dirt from an earthly grave

But the star bought love that saved us

If we truly will be saved

 

Let me soon surrender

That which holds me fast

A love to be remembered

In the future and the past

 

Star light fall upon me

Let your midnight serenade still my worried voice

Caress my soul in splendor

Your faint light like my hope

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Muse]

!

just kidding....

[MoriartyMesa]

A slow string piece for background would destroy the reader, images and the musical flow of your work is nicely done and breaks perfectly. Some minor edits may be needed, comas, periods and such, but nice work over all.

[Rusty]

Squirrel River.

[Jazmen]

Righteous. Good F'in work.

[...]

. oh, what a radiant array of words ... you sprinkle starlight as you sing this beautiful song ... and give the reader infinite solace ... absolutely overwhelming and awe-inspiring work, monsieur ... your poetic voice echoes beautifully ...

what else is there
but starlight
in the need for poetry
and prose
what else is there but starlight
for us and them
and these and those
and what else can one want
but stars and starlight
day after day
and night after night
what else can one want
what else
what else
what else

nothing else
i suppose

:)

[Jazmen]

I enjoyed reading this.. especially where your rhythm was flowing perfectly..
Like
Let me soon surrender

That which holds me fast

A love to be remembered

In the future and the past

especially.

The only advice I have is 1. To elaborate more on ideas instead of throwing it together with little detail or loose ends. for example:
No eloquent words will do

When I lay upon you my pillow

Knowing it courses through you

Saw grass and you

I think that so much more can be said.. and as the reader, I wish there was. You're touching on deep things here, so go deeper.
#2. Is of course to not be afraid to edit and revise. It's what perfects the piece.

Overall, I think you have good ideas and a beautiful way of thinking. I wanna hear more. Good job!