No Poem

There is no poetry within me

All I have is want

Secret words for everyone

Written just to flaunt

 

Flaunting pain from a sacred heart

Written all alone

Sitting in a hotel room

I have no place called home

 

No place to wash my dungarees

No place to hang my soul

No solace in this solitude

No noise but my screaming heart

 

Touching you with heartfelt words

Cast upon your floor

Listening to this bloody heart

You hear my words no more

 

Chewing upon the broken glass of bitter regret

Foundering in the pool

The bloody lips leave upon this page

That is what is real

 

No poetry is not in my soul

I face the day alone

Ripping up some stupid words

My little rant is done

 

 

 

Reviews

[Deandra Dawn]

Other than the rhyming going off I think it was good. I don't think the rhyming is very important though.

[...]

. ha ha ! ... so you get you have the last laugh, monsieur ? ... you're very witty and clever ...

'tis not a poem
if you're looking for one
but it is
if you can hear the heart
of the poet
beating incessantly
as he struggles
with himself
to etch
words
perfectly
if only
to dismiss them
later
and label them
"no poem"
because
his pursuit of excellence
is poetic expression
won't let him
become
complacent

:P

[Rusty]

It is after all "No Poem"

[Rusty]

Thank you .me. . Reading between the lines of "No Poem" seeing the struggle with muse and understanding the statement hidden in meaning.

[...]

. i may be in a minority here ... but i think this is a masterpiece ... and the poet's struggle is particularly evidenced ... in the rhyme scheme -- that appears and disappears ... since i am aware of your proficiency in English ... i think that the absence of rhymes in certain parts is intentional ... in fact, i noticed it only when i read the other reviews ... i felt the poet struggling as i was reading ... i felt the poet trying to write and giving up ... and trying to write and giving up as he was writing ... anyway, most importantly, this is a masterpiece ... what a brilliant title ... and what an exquisite composition ... i sometimes say the poetry is not in the words ... they are vehicles ... the poetry is in the mood of the poet ... and the emotion conveyed ... and you do that in an incredibly expressive way ... it's a privilege to read you, monsieur ...

[allie_arrowz]

your rhyme scheme went off in the 3rd and 5th stanza.
i don't think rhyming is very important, i think it is more important to say what you want to say rather than worrying about the rhyme.
although, if you're going to go for it, go for it haha.
it would flow much better if the rhyme stayed throughout. maybe the last stanza wouldn't have to fit the scheme, but the random stanzas not rhyming messes with the flow.
other than that, it was beautiful and dark and awesome.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

the rhyme scheme confused me in this. some verses it's there, some it's not (unless i'm missing something). if you're going to rhyme, you should commit to it. it's distracting to the reader to be looking for a rhyme in a stanza when it's not there.