Not Speaking

When those close won't speak

Somewhere along the line, we stopped talking

No weekend visits

No letters or cards

Forget the phone can sing

Your face seems blurred by time

Obscured in curls of fog

Your motives clandestine

When did you choose the bog?

Down in that sludge you sit

My hand is here for you to take

Ears ready for your voice saying this:

"I was nothing but a fake"

Admit you were just playing a part

Some two bit actor

Warming his hands and heart

On the pain of others

All I can hope for

Is that by some unseen accident

We will play the same chord

And some kind words may be sent.

Author's Note

An attempt to make a rhyming poem. I almost never rhyme in my pieces. Either I'm just lazy or I find it too difficult to make it work. Anyway, please comment, review, and/or criticize as you see fit. I'd lovesome feedback on this one. I might try to step up my rhyming game a bit.

Reviews

[Mai L Nissen]

I really enjoyed reading this poem! However, it was not because of the rhyming. In fact I did not notice the rhyming until after reading your author's note. I looked through it again, and yes there is rhyming. The thing is, because of the lines' difference in length, I didn't catch onto it. For me it makes it difficult to find the rhythm, when the verses contain so varied a number of vowels... Kind of have some trouble there myself now and again :) Your take/fake, part/heart, fog/bog rhymes were fine... I think it might be because of the beginning I am having trouble getting in to the rhyming rhythm...

I really enjoyed the poem and didn't have anything really to criticize before I knew you were going for a rhyming scheme. But this may be due to one of my idiosyncrasies.

I particularly love this description:
"Your face seems blurred by time
Obscured in curls of fog
Your motives clandestine"

Thank you for sharing an otherwise lovely poem!

[Jamestown]

I think you did very well, and as far as someone close not communicating,
I don't have this issue, my family can't shut up, lol! I can't relate but I can understand
the frustration that it could cause, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[James O'Rourke]

Thanks for checking it out! This one took me about 3 hours to complete today. Trying to get the rhyming and rhythm to work together was a serious pain. I'm going to keep at it though. I used to rhyme with no problem back in college and high school. I've been really focused on content and clarity and now I need to add rhyming back into my repertoire.

Once again, thanks for reading!