suicide note

This will be my final letter, to all those I care about I'm sorry that you have to read this. I know that seemed fine like nothing could hurt me,  but for the longest time nothing felt right. I couldn't sit here pretending like I wasn't dyeing inside, you make one mistake then the whole world judges you on it. for so long everything was going good but everything kept come back in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. the cruelty of this world just became unbearable. The pressure to be perfect was becoming exhausting. having to look in the mirror and not recognizing who you see staring back at you is scary. I just couldn't face another day pretending to be someone I'm not. everyone jokes bout being depressed and killing themselves because they don't know what it's really like. when i look into my little boys eyes, I see hope, and love,. he dis always so happy, always going up to people and hugging them. It's so hard to look at my baby because he is a painful reminder of what I used to be. I'm 17 years- old and have child I know most people would have given him up but i couldn't. When I laid eyes on him the first time I saw my baby boy i just couldn't because he was the one thing I didn't screw up on. the people at the school found out i was raped then made fun of me and told me i deserved it for being such a w***e. but I'm not w***e before I got raped i hadn't even had sex, all I did was kept the baby because he was my beautiful child. people can be so judgmental and cruel. I just can't keep going on taking this from people who barley knew me at all . all i ever wanted was to be accepted imperfection  and all. I'm just going to disappear into the shadows to a broken, forgotten world just like many who were bullied to the point of no return. This is my final good bye.

~K.R.L