Spencer

to my ex.

Living in a lie,
Of things I don't regret.
And if you asked me how I was,
I couldn't tell you yet.

Because I don't quite know,
Don't think I ever will.
If I get up, I'll fall back down,
So I'll just remain still.

The love we had has faded,
And now it's almost gone.
Now all I have are memories,
So I'll keep holding on.

I'll never forget you
Though now and then I'll try.
But I know it's useless,
Your memory won't die.

What we had was special,
But it didn't last.
And now you're underneath my skin,
And I'm bleeding so fast.

I wish that things were different,
I truly wish they were.
But I can't change the past,
And now you're with her.

I thought she was my friend,
I thought that you were mine.
But now you are together,
And I'm losing my mind.

It's already over,
I knew it from the start.
But I let my guard down,
And you just broke my heart.

I tried to change my way of thinking,
Thought of what I lacked.
But I knew I couldn't trust you,
And you got me back.

You thought that I cheated,
So you cut me loose.
And now I just cannot go on,
So I tie the noose.

I know that I can't change this,
You're stuck in your ways.
And now I'm hanging from the ceiling,
And my body sways.

I do not know what I did wrong,
You said it wasn't me.
But I just cannot believe that,
So you have to see.

I thought that you were the one,
Til' death do us part.
But I guess that I was lying,
To my broken heart.

Those three words linger in my mind,
Dripping off my tongue.
I feel the air leaving my body,
Escaping my lungs.

The sun is shining, I'm inside,
My spirit leaves it's shell.
I tumble down this empty stairway,
In my mind I fell.

And now I'm gone and I just know,
That you don't feel a thing.
All I know is I will go to hell,
Not get my wings.

The broken vases, thorny roses,
No water in sight.
There is no sun no happiness,
The fire is our light.

Yet it's cold and so familiar,
A spine-tingling fear.
Strikes me as I realize,
I've been here for years.

I've conferenced with satan,
Cause' god left me alone.
And though it hurts so deep inside,
My hearts turning to stone.

Soon I won't feel anything,
Nothing will wake me up.
So I just mix another drink,
Of vodka in my cup.

I'll just drink the pain I feel,
Away until it's gone.
I know that I'll never have you,
It's time to move on.

Though you said you loved me,
And told me that you cared.
All I know is you were lying,
You were never there.

I was just a s**t to you,
Another b***h to f**k.
You mounted me the day you left,
I guess that's just my luck.

I should've seen it coming,
A long time ago.
But true love had blinded me,
Why'd you stoop so low.

I know that it's pointless,
Trying to make you stay.
But without you by my side,
I won't live through the day.

Now I have been burned,
To many times to count.
And like i said before,
I'm just another b***h to mount.

What else am I good for,
I can't work with my hands.
Once you've tasted excess,
Everything else tastes bland.