The Desert

She walks along the old dirt road,
The ground is cracked, broken.
There is no water here, just sand.
She moves slowly, like an animal, stalking it's prey.
The drought has brought famine to the land.
There is no water here, no food, just sand.
On the other side of this vast desert wasteland,
He sits, and scans the horizon.
He walks, wandering and waiting for his mother to return.
He is only six, and won't make it much longer.

Days pass...

A distant shadow blurs with the horizon.
The child rises, rubs his eyes with dirty, dry hands.
Fatigue clouds his memory.
The figure moves closer, closer with every second.
And then the woman is there, kneeling before him, hands outstretched.
The sky is a dark gray, and the first roar of thunder,
Echoes.
The woman, who has been searching for her lost son...
Collapses on the ground before him.
The rain begins to fall, and she relases her last breath of air.
The child mourns as her body becomes nothing but an empty shell.
He is only six, and won't make it much longer.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

God this is so wonderful my friend,you are a dreamer ,i am sure of that..
She walks along the old dirt road,cracked and broken
there is nothing ,no water no life,only sand
draught brought famine to the land,no water no food just sand
on the other side ,he sits a child and looks the horizen
he walks sits waits for a mother that may never return
only six ,mostly will never make it,not for long
and in a blur sees a shadow moving closer
there is a woman there,kneels before him..
and here comes the rain and roar of thunder
as she collapses before him and he starts to moan
a lost mother,as she released her last breath
he is only six and will never make it,not for long
what a write what imagination .what thoughts,i was really there with them
i was looking at the loss and chaos that i see and seen all my life
what brilliant write,you took me for quite a disturbing ride
lovely write..

[Salvatore Buttaci]

This is a good story, but it needs poetic devices to read like a poem. Here is where a poetry handbook could explain a lot about metaphors and similes and hyperboles.