analyzations of societal impact

i once saw a boy

 

he looked like he had something to say,

but he never said it.

 

i was disappointed.

not particular at him, but

in life

for it had stopped him.

Reviews

[Skib]

I like this short snip of poetry very much...we all, at sometimes, are the boy that life stops from orating. Nice piece, nice work.

My only input would be, that last stanza should read:

(I) was disappointed
not particularly at him
(but) at life
for it had stopped him.

I just makes more sense and makes it easier to read and when we refer to ourselves, we always use a capital I.

Regards :)

Skib.

[ruth]

thanks for the input!
i think i was going for more of a rebellious kind of look for the entire poem so i lowercased the i. also i never really uppercase my i's.

thanks anyways :)

[Skib]

Lol it's me and my overly grammatically correct readers mind haha :) no problm

[...]

Your style is very sensitive. Your writing goes under real meaning of our behaviour .well done.

[ABG 2.0]

i like the loss of 'proper' form without CAPS!
it shows an openness to options
rules are only there for those that need the guidance
the rest know
another good write ... you have matured just as your work has expanded

[Hbrook]

Wow... This really hit me hard...

[/]

This is short but weighs heavy in truth. How many of us are stopped from doing the things we want to out of fear. Life does that.

[ruth]

yeah, life is pretty sucky.

[/]

Sucky, yeah, that's the word.

[Aerie]

Nice poem! It's both short and thoughtful. I like the touch with the lowercase letters too. You put a lot of meaning into just a few words. Being pithy is not a talent many people have. Keep at it!