Midnight Phone Call

Think what you will...

 

 

I lie here all alone

On the phone with you

Thinking of you pleasing yourself

All the sudden a feeling

I hear a gasp…

A good thing of course

The more you feel pleasure so do I

Oh…how now? What do I do?

Do I pretend I do not know?

Or should I get involved?

Too late I feel it

You are nearing the end

 

Oops, you finished your coke

 

 

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

You've painted a very good picture here with brilliant imagery!
I actually read it and then again read it several times to get it's feel and it's true meaning to the most suitable extend and I came up with a conclusion that there is really a sense of metaphor in these lines (which I found)
about the (over) concern for maintaining a relationship and I also sense a feel of insecurity in it..
So, this is really an amazing write which I really loved the most..
Very very powerful usage of English!

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

Minx's! You tricky little angel! Brilliantly done. Leading me down the wrong road! Made me laugh a lot though! Nicely done, very much enjoyed it!

[Vatsayayana]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh..... you delightfully wicked girl.
You completely had me until the end.
Such a wanton tease.
It was wicked cool what you did here.
Thank you so much for sharing with me, I loved it.
Yum.
Brava!

[Blue Sky]

I at first pictured a person, but then....


the ending just got me,


I sense an excellent piece with
wonderful taste of imagery,

and a real twist to the end
which I rate as wonderful

Excellent writing!!

[R. L. Ambar]

Wow....

Wow....

Interesting...

Wow...

Rocher

[ShadowWolf]

Yes, it definitly read better!

[ShadowWolf]

An intersting call! A picture paint simply and direct.