day 4

today

he told me

how he thought

that one day

the world

as we know it

would end

 

and he told me

 

that he would want

me

to be there

beside him

as the earth crumbled

 

and i think

that he has

 

maybe

 

begun to believe

in the lie

called love

just as i have

Author's Note

I'm really unhappy with this "poem"

Reviews

[D. T. Wine]

I believe the difference here lies with its breaks, or transfer lines as it leaves certain thoughts and phrases lingering in my head. To the poem, the narrator furthers the notion of inadequacy... believing that she is tricking the lover...very well done, as the others were.

[Soma-ko]

You may be unhappy with this poem, but I personally enjoyed Day 1,2,3, and 4. Love the simplistic style that carries a story within the words. Much enjoyed, and apologies for the short review that encased three other poems of yours.
-Soma

[Caradoc]

Though the style is like its predecessors, this one seems very different. I sense a little less emotion from the narrator. Perhaps it is because she is in shock at the revelation that he could feel something for her. It tells me that she believes that he shares her beliefs on love.

Now that I think about it, this poem is filled with surprise and hope, even in the shadow cast by the thought of the world ending. With that as the backdrop, these two individuals are reaching for comfort, something to ease the pain. That something is leaning towards each other.

It's very human.

-Caradoc