Forever Elusive

Crystalline dreams

From shattered moments

Pearl dust slipping through my open fingers

Like sands through a sieve…

 

Wisps of wishes

In voracious emptiness

Haunt my waking hours

Until the merciful night comes

Providing temporary respite

From this stark reality that torments my soul

Reviews

[....................]

What has gone is lost to us forever, just as the sands of time slip by without fail. Memories linger in clear dreams and we spend our days fingering through those thoughts, tormenting ourselves until sleep fills the void with better dreams or quiets the conscious mind - either way, providing us with a temporary reprieve from the torture. A wonderful write, Rubie.

[rubie]

Thank you for your review, FT. Your comments are always so very insightful.

[Lydia Shutter]

The imagery is superb in this one. "voracious emptiness" seems like an oxymoron which makes it all the more powerful a phrase! When nighttime is the only escape from the anxiety and loneliness of the day, the situation is bleak. You have written this so well. Lydi**

[rubie]

Thank you for your review and kind words of praise, Lyndi.
Yes, sometimes emptiness does seem quite voracious to me....

[Dana Alsamsam]

i think we may be kindred writing spirits as i could see myself writing upon this same topic and using similar language. especially in that first stanza i find that we have many similarities! i'm glad i've taken the time to come read your work as i am definitely a fan.

the dreams slipping through your fingers...the search for anything to take your mind away from the darkness... beautiful work!

[rubie]

Thank you, again, for your generous comments. I try to develop my ideas and topics into images that resonate with readers. There is no greater praise than when someone can relate to the feelings that a poem evokes.

[Vria P Crow]

INTRODUCTION

Vocabulary I Enjoy:

1. Crystalline Dreams
2. Sieve
3. Wisps
4. Voracious: As a woman of high vocabulary, I actually had to look up this word. Thank you for increasing my directory of awesome knowledge!

Internet Source

vo·ra·cious
[vaw-rey-shuhs, voh-, vuh-] Show IPA
adjective
(1)
craving or consuming large quantities of food: a voracious appetite.
(2)
exceedingly eager or avid: voracious readers; a voracious collector.

5. Respite
(1) to relieve temporarily, especially from anything distressing or trying; give an interval of relief from.

THE GENTLE CRITIC

Now, I know this might be a little confusing. However, I would recommend removing the word, "temporary" before the word, "respite" because respite already means temporary. Therefore, you are saying the same thing twice :P

CONTENT

The imagery is fantastic, Rubie! I felt the atmosphere all around me! It took me by surprise in this overwhelming fantasy!

INTERPRETATION

(1) I imagine a young woman caught in her nightmares.
(2) I imagine a young woman caught in her dreams.
(3) I imagine a young woman caught in fantasy.

I would love to take a trip within in your mind to escape my own!
Thank you, Rubie!

[rubie]

I very much appreciate your thoughtful review and kind comments. I thought about your suggestion of removing "temporary", but decided I like the rhythm it provides, as well as the emphasis on the word "respite". Our lives are spotted with relentless respites, so when one appears, it's only a bridge to the next one....

[Vria P Crow]

You are very welcome :) I am happy that you took it under advisement:D

I do like your last quote on "relentless respites." To be honest, I am feeling similar presently.

Nice work and happy writing:D

[rubie]

Thanks. And same to you.

[steppenwolf]

I like "pearl dust" also "voracious emptiness."

[rubie]

Thank you!! Appreciate your remarks!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The phrase "voracious emptiness" made me think of a black hole in outer space. How the gravity is so strong from that emptiness that not even light can escape. It consumes yet seems to remain empty as huge things are crushed into non-existence. It is a frightening concept for comparison to a heart or soul. I enjoyed this excellent write.

[rubie]

I am humbled by your too-kind words about my work. And your elaboration on the "voracious emptiness" is spot-on. I love how you described it....

Thank you for the read!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, what quinfinn on "voracious emptiness" nice oxymoron there...

this is good, peace of mind becomes pieces of mind rather than contentment attained.

[rubie]

very true, jacob. thank you so much for your kind review.

[quinfinn]

cleverly penned. i particularly liked the line "voracious emptiness" it encapsulates the whole theme of this poignant write. nicely done.

[rubie]

Thank you, quin, for your kind words. To me, emptiness is, by its very nature, always voracious.

[quinfinn]

that's why i liked it! it works!

[SyberRose]

I enjoyed your words especially the first verse..Nicely done Rubie...SyberRose

[rubie]

Thank you so much for stopping by to read my work! Much appreciated! Will certainly return the favor :)

[LA Lorena]

this was truly hauntingly beautiful. I think we've all been there, felt this, longed for escape from those waking dreams and memories.

[rubie]

Thanks for the read. I appreciate your review. I think as writers of poetry, we all strive to write and communicate those feelings that we know others have felt. Nice to know that connection is there.