Forever Untitled - COLLABORATION WORK

GIANT collaboration with friends based on Gintama!!!

{Still Untitled...and may be forever}

 SachikoMochiko, Jacalyn H, Sophie G

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Sachko (Prompt from Gintama.):

*Glacko ran to Four Eyes screaming and complaining that there is a cockroach in her room*. Four eyes said that she needs to get used to it if she wants to live on Earth.  Four Eyes, confident that he can kill the roach in one go, got the “Roach Killer” and tont in her room fearless. He ran and screamed like a girl in a Justin Bieber concert, shaking with fear. Both Glacko and Four Eyes were in the corner hugging their bellies. Weasel Gut, a man with a samurai’s soul, came back from shopping for strawberry milk and asked them why they were scared. They explained to Weasel Gut that there was a cockroach in Glacko’s room.

Weasel shrugged and said that they both need to get used to it if they want to live in Edo. Weasel Gut, getting his wooden samurai sword, burst in Glacko’s room with the ‘so-called’ overconfidence. Weasel Gut, the highly respected samurai of Edo, froze then semi-fainted crawling slowly to his companions.

The three companions posed in their battle mode (back to back) to verse the cockroach. A “not-so-normal” roach crawled out of Glacko’s room. Four Eyes quickly stated that he loved his mother and sister, hoping to not die.

Why were they so frightened you m-may ask? Th-th-they were against a cockroach the size of a full grown man!

They tried killing it. And at one point, thought Four Eyes was eaten by the giant roach. 

Meanwhile, there was an interview on TV for Prince Ayaaaaah [the interviewer mistaken his name as ‘Prince Bakaaaa’. ‘Baka’ meaning stupid]. He declared that it was a cockroach invasion. The cockroaches came from a different planet. And he also stated that if you kill one cockroach it automatically calls its clan to attack the killer.

*Back at Weasel Gut’s rented house; they killed the giant roach in their house.*

Phew…

Jk

The whole house got flooded with cockroaches.

In the interview, Ayaaaaah stated that he named the Queen and written the Queen’s name in white on her back. He was the one who brought the cockroaches to Earth. 

He also stated that if you kill the Queen, all the cockroaches will die or retreat back to their planet (depending what clan they were).

Back at the house. Weasel Gut and his companions were in Glacko’s room on a so-called “shelf” (Glacko’s bed). While Four Eyes and Glacko were panicking, Weasel Gut found a small normal sized cockroach with someone’s name written on the back. {Weasel Gut didn’t turn on the TV while this incident was taking place}. Weasel thought the cockroach looked innocent and cute, so he flicked away the cockroach in the crowd of giant cockroaches…Although Four Eyes knew that the Queen had writing on her back but was too busy panicking.

When Weasel Gut explained to his friends what he witnessed. Four eyes also explained Prince Ayaaaaah’s interview about the Queen and insisted that they should kill it. 

While searching the whole house, the Queen roach went to the room where Glacko’s giant pet dog sleeps…then maybe woke the dog up. Nope, the giant dog REALLY woke up!

…

The dog squashed the Queen with his paw, killing the Queen (Fortunately dogs can’t be charged with Queen Murder).

Jacalyn: And…the clan did what?

              Go back to their planet?

Sachiko: *sigh* never know 

Jacalyn: *groan* why not?

Sachiko: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA, It’s your turn to finish the story. 

Jacalyn: K. Ready?

When the dog killed the roach Queen, the surviving roaches went back to the person who brought them to Earth, Prince Ayaaaaah. It just happens that Prince Ayaaaaah owns PRINCE BAKA’S BAKERY, and he wrote on the back of the Queen roach with extra sticky icing sugar.

(Sachiko’s thought’s: Yum! Yum! Ummm…I mean ewwww!)

The cake he was making suddenly had an infestation of cockroaches. These roaches seemed to think that the cake was a UFO to get home to their planet. Glacko, thinking that there were no more roaches, went to the bakery and brought a cake. They got it for free because the baker did not want it (he was afraid of it). So she carried the cake out into the street when she opened the box and screamed. She went back to the bakery and called her lawyer to sue Prince Ayaaaaah.

Prince Ayaaaaah had disappeared.

Glacko called the police, and they sent a man with glasses to arrest him because Prince Ayaaaaah may be charged with Cake Abuse. When the officer got to the bakery, Glacko was shocked because she did not know that Four Eyes was a police officer.

Four Eyes “Cause of the Law” said he had to check her files for her sanity. Glacko yelled at him.

Later…

Four Eyes discovered that Glacko had a twin brother and they separated from birth. That was when Prince Ayaaaaah started screaming.

Weasel Gut had arrived and was using a knobbly yellow thing to control the roaches. Prince Ayaaaaah was tied to a hot pink plastic chair with his extra gluey icing paste. Glacko rushes in and screamed. She sees somebody who looks just like her who is clearly insane because he is controlling a bunch of cockroaches with a potato. He points at the potato at her and yells; get her! So Kagura runs away to Four Eyes who holds out his police baton at the China Man.

Sophie it’s your turn!!!!

Glacko stood in shock of what’s happening. She screams, “Stop!” at Four Eyes. Four eyes turned around facing her way. As fast as light, he grabs Glacko by her wrist tightly and throws het to the hard ground. Glacko lays on the ground spitting blood from her mouth, screaming with pain. A shadow-like creature watched this happen. The shadow unties the man and lets the man go. 

Four Eyes turned around to see the shadow, “What are you doing here? Your-!” The shadow literally zoomed through Four Eyes making him pass out. Glacko was shivering, not because she was scared. The shadow kneeled down to Glacko. “D-don’t hurt m-me!” Glacko begged. The shadow smiled under his mask, not a creepy one but a kind one, “Wh-who are your Sir?” 

The shadow went to the light to show he is wearing a beautiful, dark-blue dox mask with an indigo bandana on his neck and these clothes; black hoodie, leggings and a silver chain around his waist and dark blue boots. He also had black gloves with blue “vine” pattern on them. The “shadow” took off his hoodie and mask. The mask his a boy with shiny black hair and blue crystal eyes. Glacko asked “Hahaha, are you another bad guy again?” He didn’t respond but he asked for a pen and paper by pretending to write with his hand. Glacko fetched a pen and paper for him and gave it to him and he wrote: I am mute, I cannot s-speak. And…um…I am not a bad guy! I am here to save you! He smiled at Glacko and she smiled back…until something pulled her leg.

Sophie: It’s you turn to write sushi!!

Sachiko (A.K.A Sushi): Jacalyn is going to write first then me!! She’s reading yours now.

Jacalyn: Kk

Galcko felt a rush of complete trust for the young boy. He may look as if was her age but it was as if there was an unspoken bond between them. She felt as if she knew him from somewhere. Still wobbly ion her feet, Glacko let the stranger guide her towards the door. Past Four Eyes, groaning on the floor. But poor Glacko couldn’t have taken in any more if she tried-her knees simply gave way when she saw Weasel Gut-her body was spread over. The cold tile floor of the bakery, where hundreds upon thousands of cockroaches climbed.

Glacko didn’t know why she felt no remorse for Four Eye’s fate. He had been her friend, and yet…Glacko had never truly trusted him. And so is was Glacko who fell to the ground in a huge “sobbing-heap”.

She felt the young man behind her, picking her up, strengthening her as she cried for the loss of a friend, who was never truly was her friend. She felt safe in his arms as he carried her out of the bakery, away from Weasel Gut and the rest of her life; her housemate still sprawled on the floor of a common man’s bakery. It was all his fault-the stupid baker brought the cockroaches that killed Weasel Gut. 

Glacko had a little hope of discovering what Weasel was doing that day but she also hoped he had been working to her. She buried her face into her saviour’s cloak, which he had wrapped around her as they stepped into the night.

With a swish and a flick, they turned into the night, and all that was left behind was a piece of paper, which was handwritten: I am your twin brother separated from birth, Amos. Ps Your real name is Karguar.

Message from Sachiko: Last sentence was written by me lol!

Jacalyn: *tries to hug Sachiko with Viber stickers* 

Sachiko: So…it’s my turn to write??

Jacalyn: YASSSSSS…I’ll be asleep in about five minitos though (rhymes with burritos)

OK EVERYBODY!! THE STORY IS NEARLY FINISHED 

JK

GIVE SACHI TWO DAYS! Sachi; im a bit lazy and got LOTS of homework to do…so lemme alone!!!

Sachiko & Jacalyn: Hey you. YES YOU! Did you read this page from top to bottom? YOU BETTER! Because we want you to finish this story!!!! Got any ideas in mind? We will be waiting for our next author! Well…you don’t have to finish it. Just contribute and pass on the story! Choose from texting Sachi your contribution (ask her for her number first!!) or write it down and give the paper to Jacalyn (You’ll find her anywhere!). NOTE that if you contribute at the same time plot your contributions will be “mixed together” so it will be fair. Once the story is finished, all author’s that contributed to this story will decide on one title.

*Ps this story was “Phone texting format”, please forgive the unorganised paragraphs*

Author's Note

So, this is a big collaboration with my classmates. I left all the grammar mistakes in this post! Also, forgive the utterly horrendous typos as some of us did it on our phones.

These are the exact words/text messages we sent to each other...so enjoy our weirdness, creativity, and imagination.

We would also like to know what you think. Should we continue? Add more people to collaborate? You are also free to collaborate with us. Just PLEASE let me know!!

Reviews

[C.J. Holmes]

Maybe it's because I'm reading "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" at the moment, but I thought the story to be very Douglas Adams-esque! Right down to the timing of events happening at the house compared to the events occurring in the world. Nice and refreshing!
Collaborative projects like this are a great exercise in flexibility and adaptability. If you plan to continue, just make sure you communicate to decide where these plot points are going to lead.

[JayG]

I don't doubt that your teachers would give you a good grade for this. But...(and there always is a but, isn't there?) it's not fiction.

Why? Because, as you've been trained to, you're writing ABOUT what happened. You're reporting and explaining events in an author-centric and fact-based way—just as you've been taught, by teachers who are training you in the skills that future employers require. But business needs writing designed to inform. So by using those techniques you, the narrator, talk TO the reader. You report and explain.

That's great if the goal is to write an essay or a report. But how can you place emotion into the written word when all you know is nonfiction writing skills?

You could say:
- - - - - -
Glacko Stood frozen in the doorway of the dorm room, her hand on the light switch, eyes wide and staring at the roach on the room's table. The roach stared back.

Finally, with a shudder of revulsion, she broke her paralysis and ran to Four-eyes room, her shrieks loud enough to cause doors to open as she passed.
- - - - - - - - - -
Your story? No. Nor is it great writing. It's a quick example to show a form of presentation that gets the narrator off the stage and in service of the story, not as the central character. Presented that way, we know where we are, and that Glacko is probably a student. We learn that she turned on the light, so it's probably night. We learn her mood and her reaction as SHE feels if for the reasons she does.

In short, instead of hearing ABOUT it, the reader experiences it as she does.

My point? In school you learn to write. But the skills you learn are nonfiction, so using those skills will, and must, yield what reads like a report.

A bit of time spent digging into the tricks of fiction on the page can make a huge difference (and maybe get you better grades for writing).

Your local library's fiction writing department (not the school library, though) is filled with helpful information by writers, teachers, and publishing pros.

For a sampling you might want to dig around in the writing articles and stories in my blog. They're meant for the hopeful writer.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Sachi Ruaya]

Thank you.

Yes, we wrote this two years ago so I expect all of us to have improved by then. And this was a random thing we did whilst we were texting to each other so it wasn't serious. I just thought I would share. But your review is much appreciated!