Burning Memories

I sit there staring at the flame 
Mesmerized by the pain 
Of things that were all I knew 
Happy moments there were few 
To advance lest I forget 
All the things I could regret 
Should freedom be what I may find 
To learn to leave no child behind 
I sit there staring at the flame 
Mesmerized by the pain 
I sit there staring at the flame…

Reviews

[MachinaWriter]

I liked the repetition in the last part, really rang the emotions through. Good work there. I feel like a few of the lines were a little clunky and difficult to keep with the flow, but over all, it wasn't really that noticeable. A simple read through and trimming of the excess cures most of that, I get it all the time. I call it putting my poem on Weight Watchers lol Good poem, keep up the writing ^^