Red Gummy Bears

Meeting a new special person is a whirlwind of emotions. It's hard to capture them all, but here's an attempt at the tip of the iceberg.

Today you woke me up with a text

at 6:30 in the morning

which under any other circumstances

would really piss me off

but

because it was you

it seemed like the best possible way to start my day.

On my drive home

I listened to “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney

on repeat 16 times in a row

(which is a little over an hour in case you were curious).

Obsessive? Maybe,

but the song has never sounded better.

Each day I spent getting to know you was a new adventure,

especially since I could entirely rule out the possibility

of you being a middle-aged man just looking for a good time.

You do have a few things in common with middle aged men,

like your taste in memes,

sleeping habits,

terrible texting skills,

and the general desire to punch most people your age in the throat.

In conversation you never seemed like you were trying too hard,

always just being yourself

or as close to yourself as you could be with a guy you met online.

I loved that.

I loved making plans that we may or may not follow through with,

like rocking out with your parents on New Years,

or spontaneous New York trips because why not??

I shouldn't be feeling clingy after we've only hung out once,

but isn't there a way we could just not not hang out?

I want you to meet my nerdy friends,

and play super lame card games.

I want to take you to all my favorite restaurants,

even though you’re a pretty picky eater

and will go straight for the burger or mac and cheese.

I want to take you to Wawa all the time for mac and cheese.

I want you in my bedroom,

not like that

I mean yes

like that

but in this case nothing has to transpire.

It's just that

it's the place where I'm the most comfortable

and the only way it could feel more like home

is if you were there.

As happy as I've been lately,

which is pretty damn happy,

I'm also constantly paranoid that I'm going to mess this up somehow,

and something about that is really refreshing.

My brain is saying,

"slow it down Royce, take your time",

and my heart is saying,

"F***ING PROPOSE RIGHT NOW BEFORE SHE REALIZES SHE CAN DO WAY BETTER!"

There's a compromise somewhere between those things,

where I just keep being me,

you just keep being you,

and thing just keep being great.

Today

right at this very second

I feel like the best me.

This is not say that I can't be better,

but instead,

that after meeting you

each and every day I will always be better.

You'll be the reason why I start wearing socks again,

and why I finally make that dentist appointment.

In the past 24 hours

I've bragged about your tattoos,

sense of humor,

video game skills,

and your face.

You're just so

you,

and I like that

a lot.

Here's hoping that this poem doesn't scare you,

half as much as you scare me.