After Hours

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Hours

Lamp-glow glints off ‘ street

     Bar lights dark--all silent now

          Homeless pull tight sheets

 

 

©2011 Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

 

Photographer: Chuckoutrearseats.  Licensed for use under a Creative Common Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic license.  This photo was taken on March 9, 2010 in Hendon, Sunderland, England, GB, using a Sony DSC-S930.  The original image can be seen at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/48625620@N00/4420456084/sizes/o/in/photostream/

Reviews

[Roland Petrov]

This haiku is all the more poignant during the pandemic. The bar lights are dark, but being homeless is even worse. Did you mean to use the apostrophe between "off" and "street"? Was "a" the omission? Even if, not sure you need it. Hope you and yours are fine.

[Lydia Shutter]

The contrast of the bars and the homeless people is great. Your short write holds a lot of meaning...a lot of compassion. Hope to see some new words from you soon. Lydi*

[Fran Marie]

a rather barren, cold and bleak view of the have nots comparable to the more fortunate which have..a powerflul haiku which speaks volumes ..thanks for this entry into my contest..nice work!

[Zahra]

Is this a senryu? It's wonderful. Efficiently describing the whole scene, that's why I love this form. Very well penned.

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Zahra, I guess I would tend to classify this as a haiku rather than senryu because of the juxtaposition of the people that were in the now-closed bars (i.e., people with means) and those living on the street. And while there is no direct mention of nature, the picture and the whole tone of the piece suggests winter to me. Maybe that's just me. I didn't have either senryu or haiku specifically in mind when I wrote this, just the english haiku 5-7-5 syllable count.

[Samuel Jack]

An excellent poem, Japanese in structure, but I couldn't say what type (senyru?) but you said a lot in a small space, the picture helped, it doesn't look like San Diego though lol it looks like England. My favourite line is the first. Enjoying your work, more reviews incoming.

[Samuel Jack]

Just noticed the info on the photo

[Rick Puetter]

Hi Samuel,

Thanks once again for your review. Very best regards.

Rick

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Well Döne! Pen On..

[rubie]

Something sad yet serene about a city winding down for the night. You've captured that so perfectly here.

[Pratik]

I just stumbled upon this... and I stared at these lines for half a minute which is odd because they are just 3 lines,,, I realize how much you can say in few words... You paint a picture of a world that is detached from out secluded, cushioned lives and the enormity of this expressed in just a few words leaves you dazed... I liked this so very much :)

[Archia]

I like how much it captures the city atmospher late at night, when everything's died down. And I also enjoyed how it showed various aspects of it, so gave a full view.

[Emerald Seas]

Lovely writing and the picture is a wonderful addition. The imagery that comes to mind is a bitter cold, windy evening where all are snuggled into whatever warmth they can find for the night.