Nightmares of Uncertainty

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunrise over the golf course of Oulton Hall Hotel.  © Copyright Steve F. and licensed for reuse under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0) license.  The original image can be found at http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/2163718.

 

Dear Readers,

 

This poem was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe’s poem “A Dream Within a Dream”.  According to Wikipedia, the poem “reflects Poe's feelings about his life at the time, dramatizing his confusion in watching the important things in his life slip away.  Realizing he cannot hold onto even one grain of sand leads to his final question that all things are a dream.”  This is a natural stepping off point for remembering the uncertainties we all feel in life and asking the question of how can we rise above the paralysis of uncertainty and fear.

 

This poem is a co-write of

 

            Sheila Kline (http://www.writerscafe.org/wvhillbilly47) &

            Rick Puetter (http://www.writerscafe.org/rpuetter)

 

 

Nightmares of Uncertainty

 

     “…Is all that we see or seem / But a dream within a dream?...”

 

                           --- Edgar Allen Poe

 

 

Life seems a dream within a dream--

A puzzle past all mortal schemes.

Man's tears flow free 'neath troubled brow,

For we know not Life's whys or hows.

As judgment fails in dark of night,

We chart bold plans, but lack insight.

Will knowledge come--keep dark at bay?

Or blindness rule and hold full sway!

 

Life's truth is found within our dreams,

But paths get lost--in pain, soul screams.

As Man's mind seeks Life's distant shores,

The clock ticks on--soul cries for more.

Yet sand in glass drains lower still--

And spirit dies--such bitter pill!

The reason for nightmares is clear--

We lack the strength to conquer fear!

 

The Future? Well, this, too, a dream!

What shores we'll reach remains unseen.

Will Man's hopes fall in mockery?

Man's spirit left in poverty?

As cross roads up ahead large loom,

We're so uncertain, we're consumed.

Through dreams mind slides on scales like snake

Oh sanity, don't fail, don't shake!

 

And as mind weaves through shadows deep,

I pray these nightmares l'll not keep.

Let not this suffering be in vain,

Nor crippling doubt in mind remain.

So 'bout myself I'll wrap strong shield

And force of will as bright sword wield!

I'll march with strength through all my doubts,

And through these dreams this bold cry shout:

 

I am but Man, yet here I stand

Now fears be gone!  I vow!  Command!

 

 

 

©2011 by Sheila Kline and Richard Puetter, each and individually

All rights reserved

Author's Note

I want to thank Sheila Kline, my coauthor, for her creative spark and inspiring passion in the writing of this poem. Thank you, Sheila!

And a note for Dinesh,

Dear Dinesh,

We are normally a big fan of your reviews. You seem to have great insight into writing. But here we must depart, and truly we are a bit perplexed. You say "A thing I note is, the flow (Cleanliness of meter) is absent here, which was a major factor in "A dream within a dream".

We are a bit surprised at this statement because Poe's poem is notably absent of consistent meter. His poem almost disregards meter, while ours concentrates on it. That is not to say our poem is better than Poe's. Quite the contrary, we are truly in homage of Poe's poem. But let's recognize what Poe's poem is. It is genius, but Poe was not concerned with smooth meter, like we were. Our meter is 8 syllable iambic terameter throughout. Poe's poem has even and odd syllable count, randomly throughout the poem. So while we will not challenge the superiority of Poe's words over our own, We'll challenge the statement that Poe's meter is consistent.

Below we give Poe's syllable count. It is not consistent or smooth--not necessarily needed for a masterful poem. But certainly not given to "smooth" or "consistent" meter. And the accent scheme necessarily varies since the syllable count is not consistent.

Rick and Sheila

Here is Poe's poem with syllable count. We can give the accent scheme also, if that is needed, but the syllable count itself shows that Poe is not principally concerned with "smooth" meter, but is more engaged with meaning.

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow! (7)
And, in parting from you now, (7)
Thus much let me avow- (6)
You are not wrong, who deem (6)
That my days have been a dream; (7)
Yet if hope has flown away (7)
In a night, or in a day, (7)
In a vision, or in none, (7)
Is it therefore the less gone? (7)
All that we see or seem (6)
Is but a dream within a dream. (8)

I stand amid the roar (6)
Of a surf-tormented shore, (7)
And I hold within my hand (7)
Grains of the golden sand- (6)
How few! yet how they creep (6)
Through my fingers to the deep, (7)
While I weep- while I weep! (6)
O God! can I not grasp (6)
Them with a tighter clasp? (6)
O God! can I not save (6)
One from the pitiless wave? (7)
Is all that we see or seem (7)
But a dream within a dream? (7)

Reviews

[Inci 2]

Sir, once i read a story about a man who wanted to escape away from reality and the harshness of life and how he used to imagine about third level of the grand central station from where he used to escape to his old town ..A place back during 1920's - peaceful and full of togetherness.... it was a mental condition that made his mind wander and dream about better things in life... What I learnt from this is contrasting and that we all dream and many times those may be nightmares in sleep or in reality but we must not be scared to face them...the last line explains it all....
for me it was a kind of poem i'd like to read.... excellent work :)

[Emerald Seas]

I really enjoyed reading this. You do an excellent job with the structure and rhythm throughout the poem. Definitely an excellent piece.

[Max]

"A Dream Within a Dream" is one of my favorite Poe poems! I actually had to memorize it for my high school English class, and wrote two papers about it, one an explication and one a comparison with another poem ("Dover Beach" by Matthew Arnold).

The inspiration is clear in this poem, yet seems a fresh take on the same things Poe touched on in his poem. A good read, with philosophical questions abound! Leaves one thinking, as all good poems should!

Great job, both of you!

[Nomen]

I LOVE poe!
and now You have me thinking about dreams and nightmares! i used to be obsessed with some of the premonitory aspects of my dreams - this was probably my subconscious self trying to "wake up" my consciouss self, but lately i've been obsessed with two different aspects of dreams: one being what you have mentioned in the introduction to your poem, i.e., "dramatizing [poe's] confusion in watching the important things in his life slip away," and the other obsession (well, this one is not really an obsession, more like a thought for the fun of it) is that my dreams aren't really dreams, but that it is "me" catching a glimplse of "my" life playing out in an alternate universe...

So, as such, i relate to both Poe's poem as well as yours and sheilas. your thoughts are very intriguing and making me think. though, i'm not sure if you would play along with my alternate worlds, i still appreciate the rational nature of your thoughts.

And, i definately appreciate the work you put into the rhyme and meter - that is something i *almost* always strive for in my poetry. maybe it's not always necessary, but i do sometimes wish more people would put effort in that area when writing poetry.

[Muse]

This piece reminds me of my own nightmares, I run and run, but when I realize the thing chasing me will not go away; I turn to look at what is following me. I try to remind myself it is a dream and take control of the situation, somtimes it works. Edgar Allen Poe has always been intriguing to me. And thank you for the lesson in syllable count. This explains why at times when I throw a word in and and replace it with another it sometimes sounds better I suppose?

[Clay Feet]

"I am but Man, yet here I stand

Now fears be gone! I vow, command!"

An endless shout, no doubt from mortals
past and present.

This work truly gives pause for reflection with challenges of belief systems, self-worth, faith and future. many thoughts pierce the mind and heart in the middle of the night with sleep denied. You have added to my burden for when the light is gone, but what a light burden to bear. Thank you for sharing your wonderful insights.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Rick and Sheila, this is a masterpiece, plain and simple...........

[Agni Barathi]

Rick/Sheila,

Still new to your writing. This poem has excellent stanzas at the beginning and the end. These lines stood out.

'Will knowledge come--keep dark at bay?
Or blindness rule and hold full sway!'

'So 'bout myself I'll wrap strong shield
And force of will as bright sword wield!'

But the 2nd and the 3rd stanza seem to falter a bit in my opinion. The reason is that, I feel the rhyme is strained.

'Through dreams mind slides on scales like snake
Oh sanity, don't fail, don't shake!'

'As Man's mind seeks Life's distant shores,
The clock ticks on--soul cries for more.'

These are a few lines that seemed to have been written to get the rhyme/meter perfect than making the expression natural. The problem is, here the poet's effort to create a perfect piece overwhelms the perfection of the piece itself.

But that said, the last line wipes out all flaws in its natural grandeur (both of the structure and of the meaning). An apt conclusion.

A suggestion - you should try reading 'niRpathuvE nadappathuvE' a Tamil poem by the poet Subramnya Barathi if you guys can find a translation (it is on my wife's and my to-do list - http://bharathiyaar.blogspot.com). The images, the words and the themes are very similar to your and Poe's poem. This was something I noticed even when I read Poe's poem a while ago.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Excellent work! The rhythm was flawless. The poem was strong start to finish!

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

HaHo,
Flawless! Like others have said, "The sacrifice you and your friend made to create a work of art to someone like me who has a difficult time with different kinds of writing structures,stanza's and such."
I just read to enjoy and as always I truly admire a structured mind. Kind of a point of reference, when I interpret ranges of words I see here on writer's cafe behind the meaning backed with such awesome reviews. For a long time, I read without leaving my two cents worth(like it really matters) Kind of like a mosquito, eat and run...I made a funny!
Life and Light my friend......
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[emmajoy]

Firstly the collaboration is superb, no joins, no hiccups to be found and believe me, I've searched; it's clear you understand each other's methodology when creating beautiful phrases, whether same or different.

You both know I prefer to write in free form but also, that I admire those who represent the more traditional way of poetising mainly, guess, because i know how much work and thought goes into literary style. Anyone who knows Poe's work appreciates his play with form whilst conforming to laid down rules - and in both his poem and yours the structure is as true to a bird in flight except when it rests on a bough - so there .. my thoughts.