The Ocean's Blessing

 

 

 

 

 

This image is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License. shownbyphotos.com © 2010 R2 Productions, LLC. This image has been modified from the original. The original image can be found at http://oceancity.shownbyphotos.com/20060724-ocean-city-beach0017-800.jpg-large.html.

 

 

  

The Ocean's Blessing

 

Inspired by Sue’s poem “The Nature of Love”

(http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ladysue/607187/)

 

 

Her hungered eyes drank waters' blue

As waves did strain to meet her stride

And she, with yearning, welled bold forth

Embracing sea's warm, calming tide

 

How waters leapt, caressing legs

And wind rose wild to toss her hair

How she so wept to shed life’s woes

And sea, with blessings, answered prayer

 

And in that fluent benediction

Soul opened wide to meet ' sea's air

And cradled, cleansed by waves, rejoiced

To revel in this union rare

 

All anguished tears of life were dried

As ocean washed years' cares away

And to her core she was renewed

When sun did set upon the day

 

And smiling, turned she to the night

For always ocean will be there

Forever surge with pow'r of life

Serenity and peace to share

 

 

©2010 Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Reviews

[Ian Faraway]

I got a very old school feel from this poem. It was like a modern take of Shakespearean language. I enjoyed it. The imagery, however, was what really blew me away with this piece. I'm always been a very straight forward type of writer but the personification that was added and clever description of the sea gave it a romantic feel. Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. I was always envious of people who could write with such vivid description. Keep writing!

[Donna DeLong Matthews a..]

Rick I totally loved this and you took me to were my heart always years to be and what I consider the be one of Gods greatest and most calming creations...
these two stanzas says it all for me

All anguished tears of life were dried
As ocean washed years' cares away
And to her core she was renewed
When sun did set upon the day

And smiling, turned she to the night
For always ocean will be there
Forever surge with pow'r of life
Serenity and peace to share


So very beautiful... Brought tears (good ones)
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARE'N THIS WITH ME

God bless you my friend
Hugs
D

[Ellen Hammond]

Well, now I know where my muse went. She ran off to join yours. lol This poem speaks to every fiber of my heart and soul in various waves. Rather at a loss for words at the moment other than to say BRAVO!!! I love it! Your usage of auxiliary verbs adds to the tranquility as it carries us back to a simpler, less stressful time and place. It also reinforces the fact that the ocean has been and will be always there....hopefully. This is definitely going into my favorites.

[Sheila Kline]

Dear Rick!

As I read through this lovely poem, I feel as if I am indeed cradled for you speak of how one may be searching, tossed about in life, but ever seeking the serenity and peace that is found as a blessing from the "rock solid forever there" ocean.

We are all hungry for something else at one time or another, and it is a struggle...'as waves did strain to meet her stride'.....we have trouble keeping up with the demands of life, maintaining the stride that is necessary to do so, but if we are willing to put forth the effort we shall do so. As we meet those goals, or expectations we may also feel the comfort of the results....the yearning pays off.

The lines:

And, cradled, cleansed by waves, rejoiced
To revel in this union rare

I find these lines most interesting as this tells me how very difficult it is to achieve such serenity and peace. She acknowledges and accepts the touch of healing, cleansing of hurts and wounds of life in that which is not within the ordinary.....a union rare. But, oh, how sweet it is when one finds such a place!
Her very being is now well grounded...to the core! I note also how the sun is that which helps maintain this healing. It is that in life which brings us joy, the assurance of a better day with sunshine rather than the dark and dreary hours that may toss us about in the storms and turbulent waves of life.

Yes, we feel the sunshine, we do smile, and accept with grace the serenity and peace......TO SHARE! We must not hold it inside us, but rather share it!

Your meter...a consistent 8 syllable count, and format is as always spot on!

Thank you for such a beautiful description of the letting go of troubles to discover such a "place"!

Best Regards,
Sheila

[Mark]

"The snowy clifts did send...The ice did split...The Albatross did follow...The boards did shrink...The dead did lie..."
Coleridge didn't seem to have any difficulty with the auxiliary verb OR the passive voice, and he did okay, yah?
True enough, it is an archaic form, but in this one writer's opinion, most of the best things are!
This is a lovely, thoughtful poem, expressing that refreshing of hope that can occur when we confront the infinite, and assume our station in the grand scheme. As a San Diegan for a large part of my first eighteen years, to this day there is nothing that can so inspire me as walking on the beach. Trite? Perhaps! Overdone? Certainly! But true nonetheless!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the piece in general, but I have a pet peeve about phraseology such as, "waves did strain to meet her stride" and "sun did set upon the day"...if it "did" it did...and surely it did not did it twice. lol Why not just, "Waves strained to meet her stride" or " sun set upon the day"? If it's an extra syllable you are lacking, try using a descriptive adjective or a verb rather than a passive verb i.e......maybe "Waves strained blue to meet her stride" or "Red sun set upon the day"...just a suggestion.

[Ladysue]

Glad you were inspired. This has so much beauty within it...my favorite verse is the last though they all so well written...a gorgeous write...

[Miss Coral]

Beautiful piece... some of the phrasing felt a bit forced to me, but otherwise, this was great. I love the rhyme scheme you've incorporated- it adds a great deal, without dominating your words at all. Very nicely done. :)

Great job.

-Coral-