Jamie

Unbearable weight upon young shoulders

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie

 

My Jamie girl is oh so young!

You’d hope at her age she’d have fun

It’s not that way, I’m ‘fraid to say

She’s filled with cares for most ‘ her day

 

And will her troubles crush her quite?

As struggles, she, through sleepless nights

Some days her will to fight is lost

And through those nights, day’s cares are tossed

 

          She is old beyond her years

          All her days are filled with tears

          Will her troubles rule her life?

          Triumph, Jamie, o’er this strife!

And while so young with child was she

At gentle age of ten and three

The babe was born and tak’n away

She never know this youth at play

 

On alcohol and drugs she’s supped

She’s happiest when in her cups

But will she waste her life away?

As drugs upon our Jamie prey

 

          She is heavy with her years

          All her days are filled with fears

          And her woes cut like a knife!

          Please, Jamie, reclaim your life

 

Her life’s ahead, what will’t become?

The challenges seem most fearsome

Yet she is harder than she looks

To count her out, I’d not make book

 

She’s talented and she can write

In fact this girl, she is quite bright

She’s gone this far and she’s survived

I’d bet her life can be revived

 

          She is weary of her tears

          Longs for life and golden years

          Help her to o'ercome this strife

          So at last she'll enjoy life!

 

 

 

©2010, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Reviews

[Greg Close]

RIck - your words are always well chosen, and you always seem very well connected to the subject of your pieces, but this one seems that much more personal (I suppose, since it is about a person, rather than just a "topic"). Of course, there are hundreds, thousands, of persons in similar plight to Jamie. I think that only adds to the strength of your heart-felt plea. I hope, in this case, the story ends well for all involved.

[Samuel Dickens]

A different side of you I see here. I, being the product of a very dysfunctional family, fraught with drugs, alcohol and early pregnancies, feel like I might know Jamie. Many can never recover from such a bad start, but I hope she will. If there are people around her who care, those odds will greatly improve. (I'm assuming that this is true or inspired by an actual person)

[JENY]

Hi…
Themes you chose for narration are quite different …..
There is a touch of novelty always….
Nice …..
Great job….

[José Humilde]

I'm feeling this write. You can definitely feel for the speaker. For the most part it is easy to ready. I think to make it stronger you could work on the flow a bit more. A few of the the lines feel a little off, for me.

one example:

My Jamie Girl is oh so young!
You'd hope at her age she'd have (some) fun

Great poem, just have to smoothen it out a bit.

Thanks for the great read! Look forward to seeing more.

[Edit, after your e-mail. Now that I know what is going on, I can appreciate it that much more. Thanks again! :) ]

[emmajoy]

Oh such empathy in your words, Rick. Not only do you write with great skill, you touch the heart with your caring - you remind people that there's another world out there.

There are so many young people like Jamie, somehow surviving out of sheer will, maybe unaware that deep down they want to survive but are needing people like you to grab them up and away from their desperation - those crutches of drugs and booze and self-harming etc. It breaks my heart to see young folk using life to lay their own destructive path, there lurking in the shadows. Although there are people and places where help can be found, not all want to be helped, they want to self destruct, there's a strange, terrible need for it.

God willing at least some will survive through their own self-will, perhaps by discovering they have something very special to share with others but, more importantly, have something that makes them stand higher and more glorious than mere mortals..

Thank you, Rick .. in a very strange way, this is beautiful .. tragic but, beautiful.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

So sad but filled with hope. Well done!

[brandy]

wow sounds like me when i was kid

[Susie Q]

What a passionate and powerful poem for this child. The very sad thing is it fits so many of our youth today. We need to hope and pray that one day a special person like you can help bring her to a better place.

[Alicante lullaby]

Richard..very touching.your jamie girl is very strong and i'm sure she'll have her golden days.

[Doreen]

A beautiful write. Full of emotion. It flows so well and paints a clear picture. This touched me as I read it. Thank you for sharing.