To Mark: the ababb rhyme scheme is called "Cinquain"--see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain.
To Mollie: Yep. The Eastern Meadowlark was known for a long time while the Western was ignored. And the Eastern Meadowlark has a very uninteresting call compared to the Western Meadowlark.
Readers: If you're unfamiliar with the call of this bird, I encourage you to use the link below the picture to hear it.
To The Thracian: As always, a very detailed review. Thank you. And thank for pointing out the typo. That will be fixed, of course. And you're right, I do take a lot of poetic license in this poem--maybe that's why I like it so much! And yes, I do switch between tenses. But this is intentional. This is a play between the past and the present. Hopefully the past will recede with the power presented by the Meadowlark in the present. Regarding "wind" and "snows", yep, number changes. I have actually tried all combinations. I like this the best. And "life's winter snows" is quite intentional. My wording is not only intended to be literal as in your suggested "wintry snows". The snows need not be, and usually aren't, climatic at all, but emotional. So I'll leave this as it stands. Regarding punctuation, this is a continual battle. I'm in a sparse punctuation mood right now and I don't think meaning is misconstrued by lack of additional punctuation. But I do like this to be pointed out to me as you always correctly do. So thanks again for your most thorough review. Best regards and thanks!
My Review
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Rick, thank you. This poem lifted my heart as hearing the bird lifted yours! You give so much of yourself to your writing and to WC. I not only get to read your beautiful words, but learn other things, as well. You enrich us all with your gifts of words and knowledge. Thank you, my friend and congratulations!
Interesting- when I looked it up, the powers associated with the meadowlark (from a totem animal perspective) are: The power of song /Understanding the use of voice /Clarity /Happiness /Meditating on oneself /Going inward to find answers. Very apropos, I felt.
This is poetry at its simplest, and most honest. Taking a walk outside while grieving in heart and spirit, and finding inspiration in the beauty of what is present around you. Simply telling the story of what you reflect upon, and it happens to be this beautiful bird with an equally beautiful song. Sometimes, I think, we forget our own music, and have to be reminded of our inner song. What better vessel than the depiction here?
I grew up with Eastern meadowlarks, but the western are more vivid in color, and also have the song. They used to visit me when I lived in Central America, and were always a welcome addition to my day.
I really loved the way this poem is structured, and how you take us on that walk with you. The language is lyrical and very fitting to the subject matter. At the end, there are no answers, really, just a simple reason to smile, and reminder that the bird will find its. Unspoken that perhaps you might again, as well. For your sake, I hope you did!
I enjoyed this. I like the shift from melancholy to cheerfulness and hope. I particularly like, 'But burst of colour now does dash!' Burst/dash/colour are active and positive triggers. And the poem captures how nature can change our moods for the better. They say that a brisk walk in Dr. Country makes far more sense than wasting many hours in expensive self-absorbtion on some Dr.Payme's couch. I also like the way that you focus on a stunningly beautiful bird and not a carrion crow. Viva optimism!
You really fill your writing with amazing emotion, richly painting words that inspire hope and life to the reader. What an excellent poem! Look forward to reading more of your writing.
Jacques Deval: God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
It's truly and wonderfully amazing how feelings and Nature meld in a second if only the eyes and ears work together. There's nothing like the sound of a bird singing or the sight of a bird soaring to lift a human being out of the worst despair. I go out every morning about 05.30 with my dogs and every day's walk makes me feel euphoric - truly, not exaggerating.
Your words bring the same feeling, the 'high' brought by the beautiful meadowlark, even at a time of such sadness.
I'm not the best judge re.' the technicalities of writing, ' can only rate a piece by the way it touches me, inside and deeply. This post does: thank you, thank you, Rick.
So what's the most important thing to say about myself? I guess the overarching aspect of my personality is that I am a scientist, an astrophysicist to be precise. Not that I am touting science.. more..