Days of Our Lives

The fleeting time between life and death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photograph by Daniel Pendery:  http://pendery.org/files/images/0188%20City%20Streets.preview.jpg

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A child is born

Wide eyes of blue

Knit clothes adorn

And little shoes

 

A young boy jumps

A young boy yells

Sick with the mumps

Collects sea shells

 

Now home from school

To kiss the girl

Emotions rule

New love aswirl

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A new day starts

An evening falls

A song is hummed

A good friend calls

 

The coffee brewed

The paper read

A good wife kissed

Kids put to bed

 

Now lost the job

And down and out

The temples throb

Future in doubt

 

Find work again

So not a flop

New job’s a strain

But just can't stop

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

Now getting old

And time to rest

A watch of gold

Hangs from the vest

 

A loved one gone

Mist in the eyes

A graveyard lawn

Soft tears and sighs

 

The body tired

Goodbyes to friends

No more required

Rest at the end.

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

 

 

 

©2009, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Reviews

[Christopher Robin]

Rick,

First of yours I have read, was recommended here, gladly so.
This piece is very well written, stays on track with meter and rhyme, develops a marvelous cadence as it trots along. No longer or shorter than it needs to be, you've struck a perfect balance between quality and quantity, a concept many around here fail to grasp.
I scrutinize very closely, and could spot only one possible flaw. It makes sense technically but I wonder if there could be slightly smoother grammar. Your third stanza, the line "And kiss the girl". In conjunction with the line before it does not read grammatically correct (as it is an order, not a continuation), it should read "To kiss the girl". The poem is telling us what has happened, not what to do, this sudden shift was the only jarring moment I found in the otherwise flawless piece.
Nicely penned, I look forward to reading more excellent work!

-Robin

[TL Boehm]

A loved one gone
Mist in the eyes
A graveyard lawn
Soft tears and sighs

not often someone refers me to one of the old guard at the cafe. A buried gem this morning. I think that stanza above is my personal favorite. It just hit home for me.

[MomzillaNC]

The sweep of days… the scope of your theme… all beating out in your heartbeat meter. Well penned.

At first, I thought it was going to be another cheesy read ("These are the days of our lives.") like the cheesy soap, "Days of Our Lives." You spun it out so masterfully, though, I'd forgotten to be reminded that the cheesy soap uses that line every day.

[Alfred Kukitz]

The brevity worked very well here because life is brief. Although brief I liked the story, the presentation and a rhyme scheme that really complimented the piece.

[Harmony-Lee]

WOW :-)
Well down, such a flowing easy piece to read and imagine.
Sums up life so simply and quickly, which also a little scary.

[Baby Ricochet]

and so it goes onto the grave. Good one

[Malister Mikey]

good work on this piece happy to of read it

[K Scott Smith]

Moving, uplifting, genuine and smooth-flowing write that has vital messages!

[Tricia Pattinson]

Nicely done! Thank you for sharing.

[R Smith]

like it very much, in words simply put a life story from start to end, speaking as one living in the 3rd last stanza it rings so true, a work of some quality.

[Luna Zerimar]

This really is the cycle of life.

You both put in the greatest moments of life, and the sad ones.

I couldn't help but to smile when the happier parts came in.

Of course, when the sadder parts came, it hit me in waves.

Wonderful write. I really enjoyed this.