My wails, they escaped me

The storm of a lost love

 

As night lightly layered darkness upon me,

Flashes of grief broke through branches above me.

Past wet trees, stirring leaves with a shiver,

Up to the sky, my wails, they escaped me.

Only memory remains—a woman once loved me.

 

 

 

©2009, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

 

 

 

For Tovli’s 10/40 contest:

 

Contest rules: Write a poem of exactly 40 words using the following words in the given order: lightly, layered, darkness, flashes, branches, wet, stirring, shiver, remains, woman

 

Photo: http://www.freefoto.com/images/15/78/15_78_18_prev.jpg

Reviews

[Mark]

Rick,
I am checking out WC and you, on the referral of my new friend Sheila. I find this poem astonishing in its terseness, as though the loss of your lover left you without energy or breath. I am curious about line 3: What is the significance of that solitary line NOT ending in 'me', which ends the other four? And the lightning flashes, seen through the stark branches and the sodden leaves; a very evocative image. To only have been writing for eight months, you have grasped some masterful devices extraordinarily quickly...As one might expect of a physicist! Keep up the good work!

[cest la vie]

40 words, yet they speak volumes. You did a wonderful job with this. Heartbreaking...
Nicely done, Rick!!

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

I understand this poem. Very good poem my friend.
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Kitty]

Another great piece!!!! Again, thank you for entering the Thoughts contest. Sorry it has taken so long to read through.

Josie

[Fanciful Goddess]

That soo sad and so beautiful!

[fUtUREs_NbA StAR.]

he i like it nice when u write it.............. oh yea ch3k out my public profile ths......

[..R.I.P..]

This is so powerful for such a short piece. I really loved this one.

Thanks for sharing.
~PJ

[~angelalala~]

i have to say i really love this piece. it's short, simple, but powerful & such vivid, amazing dark imagery. using the strict rules of the contest, you were still able to make this a hauntingly beautiful piece.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations for winning Tovli's 10-word contest!

Sal

[Helena]

Oh beautiful Rick. Imagery superb...took me there. Thank you
for submitting this to Tovli's Ten! Helena

[Tovli]

excellent--tight, moving and profound. apologies for taking so long to stop by to read. tovli