Epic

The rise and inevitable fall of Man

"In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence and loathing seizes him."

     -- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

…Dawn…

 

In the seas of all existence¹
In the dreaming of a God
Winds blew empty o’er the oceans
Thoughts of essence in the distance
Laws of nature still unshod²

 

Then the breath of life was exhaled
And the spark of being lit³
And the latent laws of essence
Now were chosen and unveiled
Now the course of nature writ⁴

 

Then that pure seed ontologic
That young seedling, it did flower!
It sprung forth with wild expansion⁵
Smoothing out existence’s fabric⁶
Mighty in its size and power

 

Now did cool the new creation
And the seething parts combine⁷
Sparkling clear the face of being
Uncoupled now―Oh, light’s elation!⁸
Now can stars begin to shine⁹

 

It was then that it was ready
For the next step, the transition
All the forces four were now set¹⁰
And with dancing, whirling eddy
Readied worlds for their fruition

 

On this sea of desolation
On this roiling pot of woe
What should be the expectation
…What would nature dare to sow?

 

 

…Garden…

 

In the quiet, in the darkness
Softest winds caress the plain
On this orb yet all is silent
With a blankness nearly endless
Emptiness alone doth reign

 

In the waters of the ocean
In the sparking of the skies¹¹
Life bestows its greatest kindness
And instills its magic potion
Clay of earth can now arise!

 

Now in valleys, in the waters
Teeming life is ever found
This, the dance of life unfolding
And the creatures, sons and daughters
Profusion of life’s kiss, profound!

 

There across the green of orchards
There across the fields of grain
There stands Man, unexhalted
Guarding herds from fiercest leopards
Standing naked in the rain

 

Then through thought Man’s spirit rises!
Up to heav’n his sight he trains
To o’ercome his life so lowly
Seeks he truth and wisdom’s prizes
Knowledge now his life’s campaign!

 

Now arise his works and cities
All the world his full domain
Still he sulks in quiet wonder
As the gods look down in pity
For his life he can’t explain

 

Through eons of revelation
Through the rising power of Man
Will his knowledge prove salvation
Or…shall he end as he began?

 

 

…Dusk…

 

Gaining knowledge never ending
Man ascends his royal throne
His visage o’er the land extending
Seemly his godhood pending
…But for pride must he atone?

 

Subjugating lands and planets
Exploring all the vast unknown
Man goes forth and gathers forces
Celebrates with bounteous banquets
His mastery of existence shown!

 

But Man’s dominion can’t continue
For while great, his reach finite
He can ne’er o’erstep his station
Though by will he strains his sinews
Feeble loins lack needed might

 

Thus turns Man to introspection
For he boasts he knows his mind
And banishing the world external
To lofty thoughts he gives reflection
To conquer reason now resigned

 

But argument and high abstraction
Prove native thought to be unclear¹²
Hallowed reason―false elation!
Man’s poor mind a barren station
With weakness rife, with truth austere

And so in sorrow, Man dejected
Cannot master what he may
Wanders, he, through empty courses
All his hopes and dreams rejected
And ne’er he master of the play

 

And so through ages stretching outward
Man must wait and bide his time
Ponders, he, on all his failures
And his grave face now cast downward―
Exiled, he, from goals sublime

 

Spreading thinner, ever thinner
Space expands ‘til naught is left¹³
To hollowed gods we raise our voices:
“Pity Man, the prideful sinner
Soul adrift, of hope bereft!”

 

Then with final throes of being
Man’s corpuscles start to fail
For within the laws of physics,
Naught with mass can e’er prevail¹⁴

 

So it’s final and it’s finished
Crucifixion on life’s cross!
Now the world is much diminished―
‘Twas destiny to see Man lost!

 

 

…Epilogue…

 

What’s the purpose, what’s the reason?
Is it known, can you explain?
I have looked for all the answers
But, in truth, I looked in vain

 

For with science and full passion
I have tried to answer all
Still it seems that in their fashion
All my reasons just appall

 

Is it not for Man to know, then?
Will we reach a strong locked door?
I can barely stand to know, then!
…It’s “not knowing” I abhor

 

Still I have no choice in living
For this life was given me
I find in knowledge no thanksgiving
And hope in death that I’ll be free

 

And in summing all my knowledge
Writing down my poetry
It seems to me there’s no advantage
All words empty balladry

 

So I wait--I cannot do else!
Passing time on life’s great sea
In good time when death in me swells,
Grateful, join I eternity

 

So is this, then, Man’s sad story?
At dear expense did life arise
And I for knowledge mined life’s quarry
But in the end naught’s left but sighs

 

And when I rest me through the great night
Winds o’er existence blow once more
…Await, I, thundrous cracks of insight―
New universes to explore!

 

 

©2008 Richard Puetter
All rights reserved

 

 

Notes:

 

^[1]The modern view of physics is that our current universe may be a specific selection out of an endless range of possibilities existing in a “multiverse” of possible universes and that universes are continually born, filling all the possibilities of existence.

 

^[2]Before the “Big Bang” that formed our universe, the laws of physics that govern our world have not been set, i.e., selected out of all possible sets of allowable physics in the “multiverse”.

 

^[3]The “Big Bang”.

 

^[4]Once the laws of physics are selected, the course of the world, it's physical possibilities, are set and fixed.  This determines in large measure how the universe shall evolve, and whether life can form, etc.

 

^[5]Early in the history of the universe, physicists now believe there was an expansionary phase in which the universe expanded extremely rapidly in the blink of an eye.

 

^[6]The expansionary phase smoothes out space and dilutes rare particles.  The existence of an expansionary phase explains the observed smoothness in the primeval microwave background and the rarity of exotic particles that should exist, but which have never been seen, such as magnetic monopoles. Direct evidence of the expansionary phase of the Universe was revealed in early 2014 (along with evidence of the existence of gravitons) by the BICEP2 experiment in Antarctica (and UCSD was part of this effort). This microwave telescope looked for polarization in the microwave background and discovered "curl" in the polarization, which can only arise from a non-scalar field such as gravitons. What a marvelous time we live in.  First detection of the Higgs boson in July of 2012, and now this.  What additional new wonders await us?

 

^[7]Once the universe has expanded sufficiently, the matter and antimatter annihilate, heavy particles decay, and charged particles recombine.

 

^[8]Once the universe recombines, it becomes transparent to light, and now light can freely travel across it.  At this time, the microwave background decouples from the rest of the matter and is still pristinely preserved today, allowing us to probe the state of the universe at a time roughly 300,000 years after its creation.

 

^[9]With atoms recombined, interstellar gas can cool and condense, forming the first stars.

 

^[10]There are four forces in nature: (1) gravitation, (2) electromagnetism, (3) the weak nuclear force responsible for radioactive decay, and (4) the strong nuclear force responsible for the fusion of nuclei.  At the formation of the universe all of these forces were of the same strength and indistinguishable.  As the universe cooled, the forces changed in strength as the universe went through a series of phase transitions.  Separation and distinction of the four forces is necessary for life as we know it to arise.

Well, new news.  It seems there might be a fifth force, but now between dark matter particles.  There seems to be at least two type of dark matter.  That which does't clump as much and that which clumps more.  Clumping more would requite a force to "radiate" away energy (so it can clump more).  This would require a fifth force of which we're unaware, and which would not "effect us" in a significant way of which we'd be aware.  Lot of secrets still out there, everybody.  Keep watching!

 

^[11]It is currently thought that lightning was instrumental in providing the chemistry necessary for life to arise on earth.

 

^[12]Even Man’s most highly regarded work of intellect, mathematics, is now known to be “flawed”.  Mathematics is incomplete, i.e., there are true statements that in principle can never be known to be either true or false.  In other words, the methods of mathematics are incapable of discovering the truth of everything, and this has been proven mathematically!

 

^[13]We now know that space is expanding with increasing rapidity.  Eventually the universe around us will be extremely diluted of matter and energy.

 

^[14]Eventually the matter that everything is made of, including Man, will decay into massless particles.  It is now thought, for example, that the half-life of the proton is somewhat greater than about 10³⁵ years.  For massless particles, since they travel at the speed of light, time never passes.  So they are the ultimate and only immortal and stable particles.

Author's Note

My thoughts on Man, who we are, and our place in the Universe.

Reviews

[The Thracian]

I maybe am nit picking but I would work some on your punctuation - Yes I've only read stanza numero uno, but I couldn't help but feel the unease of it all.. sorry.

In the seas of all existence1,
In the dreaming of a God,
Winds blew empty, o'er the ocean,
Thoughts of essence in the distance
Laws of nature still unshod2.

Acknowledge this as a normal sentence instead. In the seas of all existence, in the dreaming of a God, winds blew empty, o'er the ocean, thoughts of essence in the distance Laws of nature still unshod. Reading it like that, don't those commas make you itch? I would have it like so : In the seas of all existence, in the dreaming of a God, winds blew empty o'er the ocean; thoughts of essence in the distance, laws of nature still unshod. However, instead of that last stanza you've the option of swapping distance for "distant" to continue onto your next line. I really do apologize about the frivolity of my remark, I just get itches sometimes.

I also found your first stanza interesting in that... it makes me wonder if you are mocking someones in a subtle manner. It could easily be seen as the prelude to all beginnings, which can't exist without it's own beginning.... which implicitly happens right after it. It's quite a beautiful strophe none the less. Just a curious one knowing you. Ah. I have failed at seeing your message I suppose... it could be that the sea our existence swims in, subsisted before time itself.. in those strange mind-bending ways. Perhaps it isn't as out of character as I initially suspected... However, your use of unshod is quite shabby. I get what it's for, which I've no reproach about, but it makes Man sound like God, if you understand where I am coming from.

Hehe.. I quite enjoyed your second stanza for I have seen this idea, fate by means of calculation, in a book I've read. I'll go a limb and assume you have as well, being as it was quite a great hit back in the day and I would assume you like science fiction, for what it was at least. In Dune, there are these people called "Mentats" who are basically human super-computers. The main character initially (and by this I mean within the first book) shows qualities of being a mentat, which he later turns into a prescient capacity of calculability by means of a melange explored on a planet. The sad truth within the book is that Paul, the initial main character, has such a thirst for knowledge that life itself seemingly loses meaning when he realize that though he can predict the future, he fails in being able to change that future because of his knowledge. Call it suicidal-faith, or belief in the truth. His son however, sees this flaw in his father and ascends to a higher logical existence - by means of inverse exploration of the spice, the melange (instead of going to seek knowledge of the future, he becomes history itself, wherein he becomes what is known as a Shai'Hulud, a Maker, a sand worm that produces the spice. I also forgot to mention that, like oil in our world, that spice just happens to be what makes the world go 'round in that book. I believe one of their sayings in the book is, "He who controls the spice, controls the means to all life."). It might all be more clear if you read the book, which I strongly suggest you do if you haven't already. But I basically enjoyed how well Frank Herbert explored this notion of being able to calculate or own fate, and I tend to agree with him that it would become quite a tedious wait should one come to exist like that. A little gripe I have about this stanza though are those two last Nows, that part of the stanza sounds out weirdly. It might be the transition in my mind between "Now" and were as being two different tenses. I don't know if that is just how I am reading it, although if you consider changing it about I would suggest :
"were now chosen and unveiled;
the course of nature writ."

I also liked your third stanza, you yourself are flowering as a poet. I enjoy how you keep to your stern explanations, 'though you allow yourself to slip - within the blink of an eye is a loose concept, not to mention comparing the expansion of a universe to the winnowing of a flower with its "exotic" seeds. A consideration for here is the word "Mighty" because there might be a better one, you know? Maybe something more like Grand - which reminds me of Grand from Camus' La Peste... What a funny character, I quite enjoyed analysing his sentence...

I see you are back to using the Now. I understand that you use it as a form of time-line, maneuvering around stages and steps, but it does get to be a tongue twister all on its own at this rate. I would suggest you either avoid it completely, because from all the scrolling I'm doing you've a long way before the end to be thinking of many various ways of saying "and so this happened, after which that happened..." Take it more at the rate of a story-teller, kind of like what the piece could be coming from an old donkey stuck in an animal farm. However, I find the jumping from one line to the next juxtaposing the last three sentences is quite... lacking in the piece itself. I understand that you use notes to explain yourself, but independently of that, you just went from nothing to there being light and stars, to there being space and amalgamations.

I've many qualms about giving suggestions as to this verse : "It was then that it was ready." I hope you understand why I find it weak, but also a futile change in verb tenses that could be easily fixed up. It was then that IT was ready.. This is the one thing I find weak about english and french as languages. A lot of concepts begin on the assumption of IT, where it is an abstract notion vaguely defined by, or as anything. It's worse than the dirge sang by trumpets during remembrance day, a song to many dead seldom few are even able to name anymore... It is a calling to nothingness to explain things. Bah, I should let goes of my own futile rants sometimes.. I would also like to see some religious interweaving here and there as a satirical edge for this piece. Instead of "The transition," you could call it "The opening" (and if you want to stretch onto something easily manipulated... call it an act, the opening act, and make it a play, then name the characters, as in your four elements... if not, "The Opening" is the roughest and closest translation to the arabic name of the first Chapter in the Qu'ran, the equivalent to the first chapters of the Genesis in the bible, which is from whence I assume you gathered "Garden" from).

The last strophe of your first section makes a brave leap towards what I assume is meant to be our first genuine emotional reaction to all of these events. While studying Kafka, I explored the notion of psychological development beyond one's first encounter based purely on that encounter. As in, a child's first social interaction happens with his parents, to whom he gives all his trust and love for two reasons. He has no other option, and he doesn't know anything, hence you could say "any better." And based on this first interaction, the child will develop his relationships. So, should one have a rocky foundation, one would end up with a rocky lifestyle, per se. I dare not hope that our first reaction would be "What would be the expectations." You could call that implicitly begging for knowledge, to know what mountains we'd climb.. and where our tombs would rest (and don't take this as a reproach on the piece, I very much like how you have you set up). That second question is less likely to be asked by a philistine, which shines a beam of hope onto the world - which reminds me, how did we go from being in the sea to being on the sea?

Moving on to the Garden our little friend Voltaire suggested we should cater to, the little rose that belongs to the minute prince. Yes, I hope you mean anything but the garden of eve here, because some might call that heretical (and yes, hopefully I'm being sarcastic here). I can see why you'd drop the "the" before softest, however the elliptical produce of that osculation between softest and winds creates quite the dramatic awkwardness one could expect on his or her's first date - especially if one was at the cinemas, watching one of those ancient horror flicks, the ones that were grotesquely unfrightening. Your dabbling in elliptical syntax leaves me quite restless, and so my itching returns.

In the quiet, in the darkness,
Softest winds caress the plain.
On this orb yet all is silent
With a blankness nearly endless
Emptiness alone doth reign.

Why to you go from THE darkness to a blackness? Why not have it, On this orb yet all is silent,/ the blackness is nearly endless/ and emptiness alone doth reign-th (I believe that would be proper accord, which you can just ignore because I assume most won't care to think anything of it). I am also curious as to your use of doth, because it is seemingly the first appearance since the beginning of the piece. Do you plan on using this as a tool? Or was it just some recreational chimera about Shakespeare being the epitome of poetical articulation (Unlike Poe, or Hemingway's peculiar descriptions)?

I will assume you didn't make a footnote for "magic potion" because you do not possibly take yourself as informed enough to make such a descriptive assertion. And to that end I wonder then how it is that life does inaugurate this gift of life unto this planet, because that would imply that life had to exist before life could be created.. Wait, haven't I said this before? Well, I would just have you consider nature here, instead of life for pragmatical precision.. To be succinct and not some sort of adjunction.

Alas, those pesky Nows are relentless, don't you find? Kind of like mosquitoes, whom are possibly the cause of why the dinosaur's ceased to exist and why human beings took the upper-hand, but are loathed, with a touch of hypothetically huge irony, by human beings. I can also create a link here between the rhythmic causality of paradigms and compulsive movements, and the ancient Vedas that spoke of Brahma's separated selves dancing, and that dance being the root of all life. Was this intentional on your part Rick? And suddenly I smirk as I think devilishly, "Why didn't he use polygottism instead of kiss." Of course, I mean this as a joke.. that would just ruin the whole beauty of what you've created not only with undercurrents of ideas that should be kept underfoot, but also crudeness. Yet, here again you do refer yourself to life... more appropriately, however I think you should link this dance to something, beyond just life's interaction with itself, or this kiss of yours might be taken as an incestuous thing..

I'm afraid I will have to finish this another time. I'm shure you don't much appreciate those last remarks... and I do notice my deliriously contemptful remarks... So I will leave you for now, and hopefully return in a better state. I also apologize for any and all mistakes in this comment. I can only imagine how many I've made...

Good night Rick...
And good fortuity with enterprising!

[BUTTers]

Well, honestly, since I'm only 16 most of this was over my head.
But it was very well written and flowed beautifully
You have a wonderful master of words that I could only dream of having
Not to mention you weaved science and god into it very well, so that it fit
You absolutely taught me things I didn't know before
I'm sorry my review isn't longer or more helpful, but I truly enjoyed the beauty of your writing
zA~

[The Thracian]

That image of yours almost has me feeling guilty for giving such a composed commentary on your piece, but what on earth can he do about it?

Then through thought Man's spirit rises!
Up to heav'n his sight he trains!
To o'ercome his life so lowly,
Seeks he truth and wisdom's prizes,
Knowledge now his life's campaign!

This doth pique mine curiosity as to why thou hath chosen the(e?) word "trains" (LOL, what a weird sentence). It this an overt avoidance of saying he brings, or he builds because of past transgressions on our part? The rest of your stanza bring strong sentiments of dismay... I've recently concluded very evil things about knowledge and truth. If you give an individual ideas, two outcomes at possible, he will be aware of the sardonic within the idea, its flaws and such, or he will become an extension of the idea, an idealist by cause. What have you if you've an individual that defeats every idea? A very unintentionally acedia oriented individual... Now if you allow me to perceive humanity as the extension of the individual that composes it, is not "truth" an idealism we chase, the same thing we feed children to keep their hope alive, and their fears away at night? I can understand why in psychological development, man creates excuses for children being themselves extension of their childhood, however... Is that humanity's achievement, chasing ideas? I guess we are in the age of information..

Now arise his works and city,
All the world his full domain.
Still he sulks in quiet wonder
As the gods look down in pity
For his life he can't explain.

Why not "cities?" I also find "all the world his full" to be a weak combination of words, it just doesn't have that properly phonetic soundingness to it. LOL nor do my own words for that matter, but anyhow. Maybe "All of the world as his domain." Or even playground if you want to add some kind of emancipated supreme power to the human side of things. The fact also that you stick V 4 between V 3 and 5 would be reason to have commas at the end of each latter verse, but that's a choice I guess..

Through eons of revelation
Through the rising power of Man,
Will his knowledge prove salvation
Or�shall he end as he began?

This is a good stanza as is, besides maybe the repetition which you seem to be liking in this piece.. But I guess it can pass here..

�Dusk�
Gaining knowledge never ending,
Man ascends his royal throne;
His visage o'er the land extending,
Seemly his godhood pending,
�But for pride must he atone?

Wow, you make me so proud with your writing sometimes! =) The only slight suggestion I might here is adding [to] between ascends and his. Also a bit the punctuation.. but it's fine here.

Subjugating lands and planets,
Exploring all the vast unknown,
Man goes forth and gathers forces,
Celebrates with bounteous banquets;
His mastery of existence shown!

But Man's dominion can't continue,
For while great, his reach finite.
He can ne'er o'erstep his station;
Though by will he strains his sinews,
Feeble loins lack needed might.

Thus turns Man to introspection,
For he boasts he knows his mind,
And banishing the world external
To lofty thoughts he gives reflection
To conquer reason now resigned!

[Maybe instead of shown in S 1 you could use [is exposed] or simply [exposed]]. Man's dominion sounds improper to me, at least with that but in front of it, it does. I'm getting a minimalist feeling from your writing, which may have been there before but I haven't felt it as strongly as in the past few strophes. Add an IS in front of finite, if you want. Feeble loins made me LAUGH. Are you saying man's sex-drive isn't strong enough to push him to discover all that he could? Because
loins
�noun
1. Usually, loins. the part or parts of the human body or of a quadruped animal on either side of the spinal column, between the false ribs and hipbone.
2. a cut of meat from this region of an animal, esp. a portion including the vertebrae of such parts.
[b]3. loins,
a. the parts of the body between the hips and the lower ribs, esp. regarded as the seat of physical strength and generative power.
b. the genital and pubic area; genitalia.[/b]

I'm sorry. I may be childish in my remarks, but I also think that if our sex drive was anymore potent then what it already is, teenagers would revert to animal/primal rape... a lot.

I liked the last strophe in this trio, because it's a reversion of construction. I've found that, especially children, the more they are permitted to destroy, the more they learn to rebuild something. And for man, it is only in complete destruction of something that we learn to understand the essentials of what made it function. So man must destroy himself before he will understand the meaning of life. So there is promise then for those who embrace death ? ^^

But argument and high abstraction
Prove native thought to be unclear.12
Hallowed reason―false elation!
Man's poor mind a barren station,
With weakness rife, with truth austere.

And so in sorrow, Man dejected,
Cannot master what he may.
Wanders, he, through empty courses
All his hopes and dreams rejected
And ne'er he master of the play.

And so through ages stretching far out,
Man must wait and bide his time.
Through his trials and his failures,
Cast from Eden, his soul in doubt―
Outlawed, he, from goals sublime.

I love the ending of the 12th note, "And this has been proven mathematically!" as if, it weren't ironic enough. Man thinking he could've begotten something perfect. In the first stanza I can only say, watch the commas (the one at the end of V 4 is particularly futile) and also your word austere. Truth is an immovable block in our minds? As in we can't figure it out, a misunderstood sapling? Also the word may is quite a bizarre choice. I understand it to be for the rhyme of your scheme, but it suggests that there is obvious reason to believe man is entirely capable even though you've just said all of man's accomplishment are for nothing, they've done nix. I also think "exile" would be better than outlawed here, unless you more specifically refer to the apple when you say goals. In which case the transgression of would've earned us the title of outlaws.

Spreading thinner, ever thinner
Space expands 'til naught is left.13
To hollowed gods we raise our voices:
"Pity Man, the prideful sinner,
Empty now, of hope bereft!"

Then with final throws of being
Man's corpuscles start to fail!
For within the laws of physics,
Naught with mass can e'er prevail!14

So it's final and it's finished;
Crucifixion on life's cross!
Now the world is much diminished―
'Twas destiny to see Man lost!

I like how you used both hallowed and hollowed in this piece, it's a small nuance a lot of people forget to notice, but I wonder why it is you used hallow the first time not in reference to something religious, yet hollow the second time, in reference to gods! Of course, I like how organic the concept of gods has become in this piece, as if they are the universe, so then they take on the shape of hollowness. It identifies well with the more scientific definition of gods. Something I don't like so much is the constant link of pity to gods and pride to man, pride being a deadly sin (which is where I assume you draw the prideful sinner remarks from). And V 5 of S 1 I believe you should add [and] after the first comma, to have it be more cohesive. And I believe to be reading an end in the middle of your piece (that actually reminds me of a really RANDOM anime series I once watched. I don't ever usually watch series of any sorts, but this one caught my eye because it's heavily laden with psychological ideas, as well as completely obvious religious references... And many other ideas any kids or people below university education would completely miss... And basically, near the end, one boy who becomes the extension of humanity's will is literally put of a cross of counter-soul energy, whatever that is, and has one choice to make, with absolute power. Humanity's will is to return to the state of primordial soup. In this return they seek the oneness of awareness between all of humanity, a sort of complete understanding between individuals through interconnectedness... The boy ends up not doing this, because in his psychological trip under the strain of his ego being destroyed, he is aware of everybody, and thus their will... And sees why this is flawed, sees the destructive unity between simple forces through the understanding of his parents, and the ever so doomed cycle humanity is going through... Basically giving in to his own needs, of love...).

I'll grateful join eternity ===> Gratefully

I enjoyed the epilogue otherwise as it is. There might be little technicalities, but suffice to say that I really loved the ending of your piece. I find it almost tragic that the one flaw of knowledge is explored in this piece, and that in spite of that to the end you seem to stick to the idea. Especially your detour just to call poetry empty balladry. I guess, if you want to produce a piece in which the reader can find Rick Puetter, this is really it, even though he is hidden behind the title of "Humanity."

Thank you for the read dear friend.

[The Thracian]

Now in valleys, in the waters,
Teeming life is ever found;
This the dance of life unfolding
And the creatures, sons and daughters,
Profusion of life's kiss, profound!

This IS the dance of life unfolding ?? That or if your intent was to pause after the This then you should use a comma here. Otherwise this stanza looks good, simple and straightforward.

There across the green of orchards,
There across the fields of grain,
There stands Man, unexhalted,
Guarding herds from fiercest leopards,
Standing naked in the rain.

I wonder here as to the utility of your initial repetition, because it doesn't seem to have much purpose in the piece and when put in opposition to simply writing
"There across the green of orchards,
the fields of grain, there stands Man,"
Etc...

I'll finish this in a bit.. somebody has my tied up..

[Raj]

If I ever knew of a misfit, I would be it! I have never taken so much time to research for my own work, but I had to do that to understand yours. Rick, you got such good command of the language that all I can be is in awe of you.

The reviewers out here seem to be well informed and read and this looks like an intellectual convention:)

Still, I have to tell you what I understood. It's an Epic alright, I give you that. You have literally written an epic that starts from survival and forward. There are a lot of dictionary words and I am spellbound by our handling of the words. Rick, I do understand the depth of this work and I appreciate the way you have perfectly blended the rhyme with meaning. You haven't compromised. I can vouch for that. Great work, Rick. I wish I could understand every single stanza one day:)

P.S.: Yes, Rick, I am serious about reading and reviewing, that's exactly why I kept my status message just that.

[Strawberry Crush]

Rick, I learned a great deal of information here. Thank you, I am always grateful to learn new information.

I have found that we as mere humans are incapable of understanding many things. Most things in fact. What is eternity? Even in the big bang theory, we cannot truly find a beginning. Just as we cannot fathom the end of time as we know it, nor can we fathom the beginning of it. Something had to exist, before nothing existed. Science has proven nothing but how much we truly do not know.

Humans instinctively crave knowledge and understanding. Is there a God? What is life and how did it begin? Are we truly just a concoction of chemicals and elements thrown together by happenstance? Look at DNA: it is such an intricate map that all of the computers in the world could not hold the information encompassed in one living organism.That, my friend - is by far random. Mathematics has been proven faulty, I think not, it is we who have proven ourselves faulty. I will tell you why: because we are incapable of understanding. We are primitive. And despite our primitive nature we have emotions, we feel, we are aware that we actually exist. I think therefor I am. You know the story.

One could become confused by the history of man's existence, the history of the universe. Somehow, many of us are aware that we do have a creator. That there is a greater purpose. Our cognitive mind is what prevents us from understanding. A person could go mad thinking of these things too much. I know just enough about science and religion to drive me to great moments of chaotic fear. But instead, I choose to recognize the futility of fear. I WILL DIE SOMEDAY. We all will, I may as well accept this fact and strive to be the best person I can - here and now. None of the facts matter to me, really. It is the soul - that life force unexplained that matters in my opinion. I understand pain, love, fear, hatred and happiness and I choose to live with my heart in hand, prepared to sacrifice and do all I can to alleviate pain, injustice and sickness. When I think of love, the love of a parent, child or lover, I know that this is not all random.

You have spurned my intellect and stirred me spiritually. Thank you! I love that!

You have great talent. If this is not published or you in the least plan to publish then you are just as foolish as you are a genius. It would be stingy to hold so much brilliance without sharing. Criminal in fact. The entire piece cannot be praised enough. You have brought in poetic form so many questions, so many hallow answers that can confuse a person. You have raised points and brought scientific validity to the table all the while leaving everything obscure. A TRUE MASTERPIECE.

[Lalli]

Ok, I can see how we would have a very interesting conversation. This is a magnificent write, and i'd say "epic" is an appropriate title. You should be very proud of this, i'm sure it took years of experience and studying to obtain such a vast insight. I stand back in awe and respect to the wealth of your knowledge and commend you for coming this far.

I am young, inexperinced in many aspects but more experiecned in many other aspects (which leads t my great understanding of people). Now book smart, I am not. But i am extremly opening minded and respectful to others opinions, and feel much can be learned through listening closely to what others have seen and have to say.

This poem is written to a depth where a person who doesn't understand all the theories you touch on would be lost, although the foot notes help (but as you've said yourself you prefer clarity, with that point the reader has to research through your footnotes and re-read to understand). With that being said, many of the best poems ever written were beyond modern comprehension and not fully understood. Its quit thought provoking (which I thoroughly enjoy), how you use differnt ideals, refernces to history, and different therories as you explore for the truth. The matter of searching for truth, which if i'm correct is the basic concept of what this poem is about is one that will always finish open-ended. There are simply way to many phenenoms within the world, the universe, and the concept of life itself to explain scientfically and quite possibly may always reach far beyond our comprehension. I admire those who search for truth as I am a seeker myself, but i have also come to terms that there are many things i may never understand but I will always hope that one day I may catch a glimpse of it. There is a balance to everything, there are forces that surround us that we have yet to realize but feel every day that cause confusion, frustarion, and internal conflict from the inability to wrap our mind around them. Sometimes we drive ourselves crazy because we look to deep into things, instead of taking them at face value. But i ask Is it possible that maybe we aren't meant to know everything? Considering that if we did, wouldn't our insatiable thirst for knowledge then be quenched? Would there be disappointment? A sudden lack of purpose? or sometimes will faith suffice to calm the inner stuggle of incomprehension. (lol if thats not a word, I know you understand the gist)

This poem is a masterpiece, its takes the reader on a thought provoking journey and is quite possibly one of th ebest poems i've read. But unfortunately its depth limits it to a much more intelligent market.
so *snap snap* i'm am more than thoroughly impressed as your words command respect

much love n respect

-Lalli

[C.T. Bailey]

Rick, I have not seen all of the writings, but I am certain that this is the crown jewel of your efforts. I am envious of the wealth of information from which you are able to tap into to create a writing of this depth. Critically, I find nothing. I love the rhyme scheme. I love the depth of thought. However, the epilogue is the poem within the poem. It is perfect....and really philosophcally, that summation is the whole of all thought. Nothing else matters.

My thoughts on Dusk. I would be remiss if I failed to conclude that this is the golden features representative of the irreversibility of nature. It is a hailing to the 2nd Law of Tdynamics. It is unescapable..it is our destiny...it is the destiny of the finite and the infinite.

My thoughts on Garden. I know you have speculated on my beliefs at this point. The writing is specatacular. It is a showpiece of liberal arts learning. I have personal struggles with the "clay of earth" now arising. I appreciate the scientific approach brought by so many regarding "Deep Time". But, amino acids, carbon, i.e. the magic potion....there are so many varibles to have made that "soup" spring forth...time, temperature, pressure, oxygen content, nitrogen content, etc. The writing....spectacular.

My thoughts on Dawn. I enjoyed the contrast from this beginning point where you begin with the dreaming of "a God" and then in Dusk, you are writing from a Pantheist view maybe..not sure...in fact I may have that reversed as I am just now thinking this through. Then a further contrast to "hollowed gods". I am thinking "string theory" for some reason. Stunning write.

We are very similar Rick...you and I. We both seek truth. As you say,

Is it not for man to know, then?
Will we reach a strong locked door?
I can barely stand to know, then!
�It's the "not knowing" I abhor!

For me, this is the best stanza in this poem. Truth. What we can say today about truth...It is not relative, it is not a moving target and it is not subject to the individual. Truth is.
But truth is also faith.
Well done my friend...

This is one to be proud of.
Todd