Epic

The rise and inevitable fall of Man

"In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence and loathing seizes him."

     -- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

…Dawn…

 

In the seas of all existence¹
In the dreaming of a God
Winds blew empty o’er the oceans
Thoughts of essence in the distance
Laws of nature still unshod²

 

Then the breath of life was exhaled
And the spark of being lit³
And the latent laws of essence
Now were chosen and unveiled
Now the course of nature writ⁴

 

Then that pure seed ontologic
That young seedling, it did flower!
It sprung forth with wild expansion⁵
Smoothing out existence’s fabric⁶
Mighty in its size and power

 

Now did cool the new creation
And the seething parts combine⁷
Sparkling clear the face of being
Uncoupled now―Oh, light’s elation!⁸
Now can stars begin to shine⁹

 

It was then that it was ready
For the next step, the transition
All the forces four were now set¹⁰
And with dancing, whirling eddy
Readied worlds for their fruition

 

On this sea of desolation
On this roiling pot of woe
What should be the expectation
…What would nature dare to sow?

 

 

…Garden…

 

In the quiet, in the darkness
Softest winds caress the plain
On this orb yet all is silent
With a blankness nearly endless
Emptiness alone doth reign

 

In the waters of the ocean
In the sparking of the skies¹¹
Life bestows its greatest kindness
And instills its magic potion
Clay of earth can now arise!

 

Now in valleys, in the waters
Teeming life is ever found
This, the dance of life unfolding
And the creatures, sons and daughters
Profusion of life’s kiss, profound!

 

There across the green of orchards
There across the fields of grain
There stands Man, unexhalted
Guarding herds from fiercest leopards
Standing naked in the rain

 

Then through thought Man’s spirit rises!
Up to heav’n his sight he trains
To o’ercome his life so lowly
Seeks he truth and wisdom’s prizes
Knowledge now his life’s campaign!

 

Now arise his works and cities
All the world his full domain
Still he sulks in quiet wonder
As the gods look down in pity
For his life he can’t explain

 

Through eons of revelation
Through the rising power of Man
Will his knowledge prove salvation
Or…shall he end as he began?

 

 

…Dusk…

 

Gaining knowledge never ending
Man ascends his royal throne
His visage o’er the land extending
Seemly his godhood pending
…But for pride must he atone?

 

Subjugating lands and planets
Exploring all the vast unknown
Man goes forth and gathers forces
Celebrates with bounteous banquets
His mastery of existence shown!

 

But Man’s dominion can’t continue
For while great, his reach finite
He can ne’er o’erstep his station
Though by will he strains his sinews
Feeble loins lack needed might

 

Thus turns Man to introspection
For he boasts he knows his mind
And banishing the world external
To lofty thoughts he gives reflection
To conquer reason now resigned

 

But argument and high abstraction
Prove native thought to be unclear¹²
Hallowed reason―false elation!
Man’s poor mind a barren station
With weakness rife, with truth austere

And so in sorrow, Man dejected
Cannot master what he may
Wanders, he, through empty courses
All his hopes and dreams rejected
And ne’er he master of the play

 

And so through ages stretching outward
Man must wait and bide his time
Ponders, he, on all his failures
And his grave face now cast downward―
Exiled, he, from goals sublime

 

Spreading thinner, ever thinner
Space expands ‘til naught is left¹³
To hollowed gods we raise our voices:
“Pity Man, the prideful sinner
Soul adrift, of hope bereft!”

 

Then with final throes of being
Man’s corpuscles start to fail
For within the laws of physics,
Naught with mass can e’er prevail¹⁴

 

So it’s final and it’s finished
Crucifixion on life’s cross!
Now the world is much diminished―
‘Twas destiny to see Man lost!

 

 

…Epilogue…

 

What’s the purpose, what’s the reason?
Is it known, can you explain?
I have looked for all the answers
But, in truth, I looked in vain

 

For with science and full passion
I have tried to answer all
Still it seems that in their fashion
All my reasons just appall

 

Is it not for Man to know, then?
Will we reach a strong locked door?
I can barely stand to know, then!
…It’s “not knowing” I abhor

 

Still I have no choice in living
For this life was given me
I find in knowledge no thanksgiving
And hope in death that I’ll be free

 

And in summing all my knowledge
Writing down my poetry
It seems to me there’s no advantage
All words empty balladry

 

So I wait--I cannot do else!
Passing time on life’s great sea
In good time when death in me swells,
Grateful, join I eternity

 

So is this, then, Man’s sad story?
At dear expense did life arise
And I for knowledge mined life’s quarry
But in the end naught’s left but sighs

 

And when I rest me through the great night
Winds o’er existence blow once more
…Await, I, thundrous cracks of insight―
New universes to explore!

 

 

©2008 Richard Puetter
All rights reserved

 

 

Notes:

 

^[1]The modern view of physics is that our current universe may be a specific selection out of an endless range of possibilities existing in a “multiverse” of possible universes and that universes are continually born, filling all the possibilities of existence.

 

^[2]Before the “Big Bang” that formed our universe, the laws of physics that govern our world have not been set, i.e., selected out of all possible sets of allowable physics in the “multiverse”.

 

^[3]The “Big Bang”.

 

^[4]Once the laws of physics are selected, the course of the world, it's physical possibilities, are set and fixed.  This determines in large measure how the universe shall evolve, and whether life can form, etc.

 

^[5]Early in the history of the universe, physicists now believe there was an expansionary phase in which the universe expanded extremely rapidly in the blink of an eye.

 

^[6]The expansionary phase smoothes out space and dilutes rare particles.  The existence of an expansionary phase explains the observed smoothness in the primeval microwave background and the rarity of exotic particles that should exist, but which have never been seen, such as magnetic monopoles. Direct evidence of the expansionary phase of the Universe was revealed in early 2014 (along with evidence of the existence of gravitons) by the BICEP2 experiment in Antarctica (and UCSD was part of this effort). This microwave telescope looked for polarization in the microwave background and discovered "curl" in the polarization, which can only arise from a non-scalar field such as gravitons. What a marvelous time we live in.  First detection of the Higgs boson in July of 2012, and now this.  What additional new wonders await us?

 

^[7]Once the universe has expanded sufficiently, the matter and antimatter annihilate, heavy particles decay, and charged particles recombine.

 

^[8]Once the universe recombines, it becomes transparent to light, and now light can freely travel across it.  At this time, the microwave background decouples from the rest of the matter and is still pristinely preserved today, allowing us to probe the state of the universe at a time roughly 300,000 years after its creation.

 

^[9]With atoms recombined, interstellar gas can cool and condense, forming the first stars.

 

^[10]There are four forces in nature: (1) gravitation, (2) electromagnetism, (3) the weak nuclear force responsible for radioactive decay, and (4) the strong nuclear force responsible for the fusion of nuclei.  At the formation of the universe all of these forces were of the same strength and indistinguishable.  As the universe cooled, the forces changed in strength as the universe went through a series of phase transitions.  Separation and distinction of the four forces is necessary for life as we know it to arise.

Well, new news.  It seems there might be a fifth force, but now between dark matter particles.  There seems to be at least two type of dark matter.  That which does't clump as much and that which clumps more.  Clumping more would requite a force to "radiate" away energy (so it can clump more).  This would require a fifth force of which we're unaware, and which would not "effect us" in a significant way of which we'd be aware.  Lot of secrets still out there, everybody.  Keep watching!

 

^[11]It is currently thought that lightning was instrumental in providing the chemistry necessary for life to arise on earth.

 

^[12]Even Man’s most highly regarded work of intellect, mathematics, is now known to be “flawed”.  Mathematics is incomplete, i.e., there are true statements that in principle can never be known to be either true or false.  In other words, the methods of mathematics are incapable of discovering the truth of everything, and this has been proven mathematically!

 

^[13]We now know that space is expanding with increasing rapidity.  Eventually the universe around us will be extremely diluted of matter and energy.

 

^[14]Eventually the matter that everything is made of, including Man, will decay into massless particles.  It is now thought, for example, that the half-life of the proton is somewhat greater than about 10³⁵ years.  For massless particles, since they travel at the speed of light, time never passes.  So they are the ultimate and only immortal and stable particles.

Author's Note

My thoughts on Man, who we are, and our place in the Universe.

Reviews

[The Thracian]

I maybe am nit picking but I would work some on your punctuation - Yes I've only read stanza numero uno, but I couldn't help but feel the unease of it all.. sorry.

In the seas of all existence1,
In the dreaming of a God,
Winds blew empty, o'er the ocean,
Thoughts of essence in the distance
Laws of nature still unshod2.

Acknowledge this as a normal sentence instead. In the seas of all existence, in the dreaming of a God, winds blew empty, o'er the ocean, thoughts of essence in the distance Laws of nature still unshod. Reading it like that, don't those commas make you itch? I would have it like so : In the seas of all existence, in the dreaming of a God, winds blew empty o'er the ocean; thoughts of essence in the distance, laws of nature still unshod. However, instead of that last stanza you've the option of swapping distance for "distant" to continue onto your next line. I really do apologize about the frivolity of my remark, I just get itches sometimes.

I also found your first stanza interesting in that... it makes me wonder if you are mocking someones in a subtle manner. It could easily be seen as the prelude to all beginnings, which can't exist without it's own beginning.... which implicitly happens right after it. It's quite a beautiful strophe none the less. Just a curious one knowing you. Ah. I have failed at seeing your message I suppose... it could be that the sea our existence swims in, subsisted before time itself.. in those strange mind-bending ways. Perhaps it isn't as out of character as I initially suspected... However, your use of unshod is quite shabby. I get what it's for, which I've no reproach about, but it makes Man sound like God, if you understand where I am coming from.

Hehe.. I quite enjoyed your second stanza for I have seen this idea, fate by means of calculation, in a book I've read. I'll go a limb and assume you have as well, being as it was quite a great hit back in the day and I would assume you like science fiction, for what it was at least. In Dune, there are these people called "Mentats" who are basically human super-computers. The main character initially (and by this I mean within the first book) shows qualities of being a mentat, which he later turns into a prescient capacity of calculability by means of a melange explored on a planet. The sad truth within the book is that Paul, the initial main character, has such a thirst for knowledge that life itself seemingly loses meaning when he realize that though he can predict the future, he fails in being able to change that future because of his knowledge. Call it suicidal-faith, or belief in the truth. His son however, sees this flaw in his father and ascends to a higher logical existence - by means of inverse exploration of the spice, the melange (instead of going to seek knowledge of the future, he becomes history itself, wherein he becomes what is known as a Shai'Hulud, a Maker, a sand worm that produces the spice. I also forgot to mention that, like oil in our world, that spice just happens to be what makes the world go 'round in that book. I believe one of their sayings in the book is, "He who controls the spice, controls the means to all life."). It might all be more clear if you read the book, which I strongly suggest you do if you haven't already. But I basically enjoyed how well Frank Herbert explored this notion of being able to calculate or own fate, and I tend to agree with him that it would become quite a tedious wait should one come to exist like that. A little gripe I have about this stanza though are those two last Nows, that part of the stanza sounds out weirdly. It might be the transition in my mind between "Now" and were as being two different tenses. I don't know if that is just how I am reading it, although if you consider changing it about I would suggest :
"were now chosen and unveiled;
the course of nature writ."

I also liked your third stanza, you yourself are flowering as a poet. I enjoy how you keep to your stern explanations, 'though you allow yourself to slip - within the blink of an eye is a loose concept, not to mention comparing the expansion of a universe to the winnowing of a flower with its "exotic" seeds. A consideration for here is the word "Mighty" because there might be a better one, you know? Maybe something more like Grand - which reminds me of Grand from Camus' La Peste... What a funny character, I quite enjoyed analysing his sentence...

I see you are back to using the Now. I understand that you use it as a form of time-line, maneuvering around stages and steps, but it does get to be a tongue twister all on its own at this rate. I would suggest you either avoid it completely, because from all the scrolling I'm doing you've a long way before the end to be thinking of many various ways of saying "and so this happened, after which that happened..." Take it more at the rate of a story-teller, kind of like what the piece could be coming from an old donkey stuck in an animal farm. However, I find the jumping from one line to the next juxtaposing the last three sentences is quite... lacking in the piece itself. I understand that you use notes to explain yourself, but independently of that, you just went from nothing to there being light and stars, to there being space and amalgamations.

I've many qualms about giving suggestions as to this verse : "It was then that it was ready." I hope you understand why I find it weak, but also a futile change in verb tenses that could be easily fixed up. It was then that IT was ready.. This is the one thing I find weak about english and french as languages. A lot of concepts begin on the assumption of IT, where it is an abstract notion vaguely defined by, or as anything. It's worse than the dirge sang by trumpets during remembrance day, a song to many dead seldom few are even able to name anymore... It is a calling to nothingness to explain things. Bah, I should let goes of my own futile rants sometimes.. I would also like to see some religious interweaving here and there as a satirical edge for this piece. Instead of "The transition," you could call it "The opening" (and if you want to stretch onto something easily manipulated... call it an act, the opening act, and make it a play, then name the characters, as in your four elements... if not, "The Opening" is the roughest and closest translation to the arabic name of the first Chapter in the Qu'ran, the equivalent to the first chapters of the Genesis in the bible, which is from whence I assume you gathered "Garden" from).

The last strophe of your first section makes a brave leap towards what I assume is meant to be our first genuine emotional reaction to all of these events. While studying Kafka, I explored the notion of psychological development beyond one's first encounter based purely on that encounter. As in, a child's first social interaction happens with his parents, to whom he gives all his trust and love for two reasons. He has no other option, and he doesn't know anything, hence you could say "any better." And based on this first interaction, the child will develop his relationships. So, should one have a rocky foundation, one would end up with a rocky lifestyle, per se. I dare not hope that our first reaction would be "What would be the expectations." You could call that implicitly begging for knowledge, to know what mountains we'd climb.. and where our tombs would rest (and don't take this as a reproach on the piece, I very much like how you have you set up). That second question is less likely to be asked by a philistine, which shines a beam of hope onto the world - which reminds me, how did we go from being in the sea to being on the sea?

Moving on to the Garden our little friend Voltaire suggested we should cater to, the little rose that belongs to the minute prince. Yes, I hope you mean anything but the garden of eve here, because some might call that heretical (and yes, hopefully I'm being sarcastic here). I can see why you'd drop the "the" before softest, however the elliptical produce of that osculation between softest and winds creates quite the dramatic awkwardness one could expect on his or her's first date - especially if one was at the cinemas, watching one of those ancient horror flicks, the ones that were grotesquely unfrightening. Your dabbling in elliptical syntax leaves me quite restless, and so my itching returns.

In the quiet, in the darkness,
Softest winds caress the plain.
On this orb yet all is silent
With a blankness nearly endless
Emptiness alone doth reign.

Why to you go from THE darkness to a blackness? Why not have it, On this orb yet all is silent,/ the blackness is nearly endless/ and emptiness alone doth reign-th (I believe that would be proper accord, which you can just ignore because I assume most won't care to think anything of it). I am also curious as to your use of doth, because it is seemingly the first appearance since the beginning of the piece. Do you plan on using this as a tool? Or was it just some recreational chimera about Shakespeare being the epitome of poetical articulation (Unlike Poe, or Hemingway's peculiar descriptions)?

I will assume you didn't make a footnote for "magic potion" because you do not possibly take yourself as informed enough to make such a descriptive assertion. And to that end I wonder then how it is that life does inaugurate this gift of life unto this planet, because that would imply that life had to exist before life could be created.. Wait, haven't I said this before? Well, I would just have you consider nature here, instead of life for pragmatical precision.. To be succinct and not some sort of adjunction.

Alas, those pesky Nows are relentless, don't you find? Kind of like mosquitoes, whom are possibly the cause of why the dinosaur's ceased to exist and why human beings took the upper-hand, but are loathed, with a touch of hypothetically huge irony, by human beings. I can also create a link here between the rhythmic causality of paradigms and compulsive movements, and the ancient Vedas that spoke of Brahma's separated selves dancing, and that dance being the root of all life. Was this intentional on your part Rick? And suddenly I smirk as I think devilishly, "Why didn't he use polygottism instead of kiss." Of course, I mean this as a joke.. that would just ruin the whole beauty of what you've created not only with undercurrents of ideas that should be kept underfoot, but also crudeness. Yet, here again you do refer yourself to life... more appropriately, however I think you should link this dance to something, beyond just life's interaction with itself, or this kiss of yours might be taken as an incestuous thing..

I'm afraid I will have to finish this another time. I'm shure you don't much appreciate those last remarks... and I do notice my deliriously contemptful remarks... So I will leave you for now, and hopefully return in a better state. I also apologize for any and all mistakes in this comment. I can only imagine how many I've made...

Good night Rick...
And good fortuity with enterprising!

[Helena]

This is an extraordinary piece work Rick. One you should be very proud of. I found it interesting and thought provoking. I, too, am interested in the questions you have raised so eloquently in this grand epic.

I loved the four sections equally and your notes at the end informative and helpful. Full of imagery that filled and awakened my senses again to what my views are on this profound "question" that has puzzled man since Adam.

The universe is a souce of wonderment and mystery. One day the veils will be drawn back and we shall see for ourselves, God willing....but some may disagree on that point but I believe "truth" and "science" are bedfellows and co-exist in a wonderfully unique way, a way beyond our understanding just now, but gifted men and women as yourself are delving and discovering and getting closer to the "truth" everyday.

Absolutely fascinating in content, brilliantly written. A read to keep coming back to, to absorb fully.
It leaves an impact on me and is one write that will stay with me for a long time.

This also goes into my favourites! Good work Rick!!

Helena

[Angel Baby]

I 'm sorry to say that for the most part I'm really not into epic's but after reading your's I may change my mind as I found your to be quite interesting and a pleasure to read....not going to get into stuff like punctutation and the like because ....I honestly don't care about stuff like that...I care more that I get something out of what I read more than anything else and with this I did. Thanks for sharing, this great piece, was worth reading. PW

[C.J.]

nice poem its good one thing i did not get but im not thinking all to well right now but what were the numbers after every few lines did they mean somthing or just there?

[Fran Marie]

So is this, then, Man's sad story?
At dear expense did life arise
And I for knowledge mined life's quarry
But in the end naught's left but sighs






A great Epic piece to be sure and so Very well penned ~and expressed in poetic verse

Your words lend much to think about~ very deep thoughts to ponder and question

man's cause and place in the universe~

Well DonE!! my friend and Good Luck in the contest~

Fran Marie

[Shawn StClair]

I am not a poet, nor am I a scientist, but I did enjoy it. I think the wording could be changed on a few things, and by the looks of the other reviews some suggestions have been made.

Personally, I liked it both for entertainment value and educational value.

Thank you!

[Brandon Taylor-Black]

I am completely and thoroughly blown away by this write.
It has depth, meaning and you evidently did your 'homework' before writing about such much matters.
This is an epic in the truest sense of the word.
Breathtakingly spectacular writing, thanks for pointing me towards this piece.

'D'

[Nely Amorim]

thank you for entering my contest, an epic indeed

[TL Boehm]

Well, as an overworked, aging, parental unit/manager/poet wannabe and all the other erroneous titles dangling from my virtual lanyard I am afraid my response will be piteously minimal - but I will say this. You are a bard in the truest sense. Highly lyrical, your storytelling skills exemplory and your ability to convey a message - profound. I only wish I could write with this passion and structure.
peace.

[Kyle Francisco]

It was well written. However, punctuation was not so much needed.

Poetry is about the free flow of words that manifest into something greater.

Think like this: story perceived are much greater than the words conceived.

Yet, that was just the beginning. Deeper into the void it became a grand symphony. It was worthy of reading. So, I had to read it through three times because it was well worth it.

It truly is an epic and reminds of the words of the ancients. Great work.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Thracian,

Thank you for a careful read of my poem "Epic", and for your detailed review. Since your review is so long, I wanted to reply, but as briefly as possible (it's not too brief, unfortunately) since most of this will not be of interest to the general reader.

Yes, punctuation. That can always be cleaned up. Thanks for directing my attention to specific places in the poem.

Regarding repetition and use of "Now", "There", etc. in a repeated fashion, it was my intention to give this poem a similar feel to Longfellow's "Song of Hiawatha". You know:

Should you ask me,
whence these stories?
Whence these legends and traditions,
With the odors of the forest
With the dew and damp of meadows,
With the curling smoke of wigwams,
With the rushing of great rivers,
With their frequent repetitions,
And their wild reverberations
As of thunder in the mountains?

Longfellow had a huge influence on me and I think his writing typifies the "epic" style I was trying to achieve.

In the poem, there is no allusion to any work of science fiction. The allusions are to hard science and mathematics and perhaps to the book of genesis in the bible. As you know, I'm not religious, but the themes of creation and man's role in the universe are ubiquitous in religious writing (not just the bible) and touch everyone.

You also noted that the closing stanza of "...Dawn..." is the first emotional reaction to everything. It is in fact a commentary in a second voice. The first voice uses five line stanzas. The second voice uses four line stanzas. There is one at the end of "...Dawn...", one at the end of "...Garden..." and two at the end of "...Dusk...", preparing for "...Epilogue..." which is all in the second, commenting voice.

You have commented several times about the dropping of a word, etc., e.g., "This *IS* the dance of life unfolding", "Now arise his works and city" instead of "cities", dropping "is" in "For while great, his reach finite", etc. Yes, I am taking poetic license quite a few times in this poem (but thanks for the suggestion of a comma after "This" in "This the dance of life unfolding". This fixes this one! Most of the time I leave a word out, etc., to preserve the meter of the poem. In most of the stanzas in the main body of the poem (first speaker), I have tried to maintain a 8-7-7-8-7 meter as well as a trochee accent scheme--an accent scheme used in Hiawatha--although I break the accent scheme quite a bit.

"how did we go from being in the sea to being on the sea?". Good question. But we were in the seas before nature sorted out the particulars of our universe, i.e., our single and only sea.

"Why do you go from THE darkness to a blackness?". I think this is a simple misread of the poem. I said "blankness", not "blackness". You even quote it correctly in your quotation of my poem.

Also, I don't describe the rising of life on earth since this is a much more complicated story than the formation of the universe with many more steps and would take many more stanzas than I was willing to write.

Now the issue regarding "loins" in "Though by will he strains his sinews, / Feeble loins lack needed might", has nothing to do with sexuality--neither do "loins". You correctly point out the correct part of the body, i.e., "the parts of the body between the hips and the lower ribs", and this is exactly what I intended and I intended the classical interpretation, which you also quote, "esp. regarded as the seat of physical strength and generative power", you know as in the bible from Job 38:3, i.e., "Now gird up your loins like a man".

Regarding your comments about mathematics and my 12th note, prior to Kurt Godel's work, nearly all mathematicians thought that mathematics was perfect. Maybe we didn't know something because we were limited, but mathematics itself was perfect. This view is certainly not uniformly held anymore. Mathematics is now known to be incomplete. This was a shock to the mathematics world.

Regarding hallowed and hollowed, that's a nice observation on your part, and I bet you're right that most people will miss it. Well reason was hallowed for a long time, especially mathematics. It's not so much anymore, or at least there are some schools of mathematics that think mathematics isn't perfect. Regarding the hollowed gods, well there are many reasons why they are hollow and many interpretations of "gods". Man cannot physically dominate the world. So this god has been hollowed. Man's hallowed mathematics and the power of his reason have been hollowed and shown limited and perhaps even untrustworthy. And there is nothing that will ultimately prevent Man's destruction. The universe will expand to nothingness and become hollow.

"I'll grateful join eternity". Thanks for pointing this out. I was already aware of the problem, but hadn't fixed it. Because of issues of meter, I cannot follow your suggestion, however, and I have a fix, but it badly breaks the accent scheme. I'll use that for now.

Thanks again for your detailed and thoughtful review.

Best regards,

Rick