Boundless Love

To my life's love, Rosalinda

Digitalis purpurea, also known as foxglove or lady's glove. Clinically used to

treat heart failure, in large doses it is a deadly poison.

 

 

'Twas when we both were young
that spirits from above,
did seemingly
conspire with fate
to instigate our love.

 

And fleur Digitalis,
with petal sweet and rare,
did line the walk
with stately stalk

our pathway to prepare.
 
For in that flowered spring,
I first did know my heart,
then did my soul
on seeing you
from sorrows first depart.

 

And when we were made one
and vows exchanged that day,
I knew at once
we'd e'er enjoy
love's most complete bouquet.

 

Bonded firm together,
our fortunes melded now,
I held your love
above all else,
this paradise enow.

 

And time can ne'er erase
our love forever true,
each passing day
in every way
our union grows anew!

 

And when in sickness, love,
your life did threaten end,
I steeled my heart
we ne'er could part―
these sorrows we'd transcend.

 

Uttermost devotion,
has bound my heart to thine,
I can not breathe,
I can not live
with out you being mine!

 

I can not look on thee,
and not remember love,
and ere I'd be
bereft of you,
I'd taste of grave foxglove!

 

Bloom of purple flower,
protect my true love's heart,
for if it fails
the world is lost,
my soul full rent apart.

 

And so each waking hour,
I pray this love to keep,
my hand in yours
emotion stirs
and through my heart doth sweep.

 

Thank thee, holy spirits,
for blessing all my days!
For gift of her,
I do aver,
forever, I'll sing praise!

 

And looking back at life,
when final rest doth call,
I'll comfort me
just knowing that
to me she gave her all.

 

 

©2008 Richard Puetter
all rights reserved

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Why Rick, I think you've outdone yourself! I'm a big fan of your deep, philosophical and clever works, but your passion and love just spills over in this work - it's rare to see that kind of emotion so well-wrought and nicely executed! I absolutely loved the foxglove theme - you covered all aspects of the flower: its beauty, its sentimentality, its medicinal purposes and even its use as a poison. This was wonderfully clever and it really brought the poem together in a fantastic way. Your imagery was great too - and heightened wonderfully by the inclusion of your picture; good choice! The rhyme scheme was really creative too - I'm sure it was incredibly hard to follow at points, but you did a wonderful job with it. A few of the rhymes did feel a little forced (more on that later) but you can easily fix these places and otherwise the flow was quite natural.

I have some small critiques, though. Forgive me, but years of reading too much Shakespeare and Milton have given me a rather good eye for proper archaic spelling and usage, so I have a few corrections to make. The apostrophe in "'Twas" is in the wrong place. As you well know, apostrophes take the place of missing letters, so the apostrophe actually goes in front of the "t" to replace the letter "i" of "it." (This is a fairly common mistake; it's not like most people go around writing with the old spellings of English much! It adds a really nice demension to this particular poem, though, so I'm glad that you used it.) Likewise, the "apostrophied" version of "never" is actually "ne'er" - the apostrophe stands in the place of the missing "v." Also, I believe in the lines "we'd ere enjoy" you're using the wrong "ere." That form, (the unaposrtophied version) is actually an archaic term for "before," which doesn't make sense with the line. What you're looking for, I think, is the clipped form of "ever" which is spelled "e'er" (again, the apostrophe replaces the "v.") It makes much more sense in the line "and ere I'd be..." however.

The lines "for did my soul,/on seeing you/with sorrows first depart." are very sweet but also a little confusing. It gives the impression that your soul is departing WITH sorrows, i.e. departing from you and and taking all your sorrows with it. I think this confusion could be changed if you simply changed the "with" to "from," because then your soul would be departing from sorrows, which would make a bit more sense given what you're saying. Similarly, the line "And when we first made one" confuses me. When you first made one what? Do you mean when you first WERE made one? To me that would make more sense, since the stanza goes on to speak of vows, which generally implies marriage. In the stanza after that, the line "my paradise enow" rhymes, but since "enow" is an archaic form of "enough" it's a little hard to grasp; it feels like it needs more explaination - "my paradise enough because...". Perhaps you could change the "my" to "this," for "this paradise enow" and it would be more clear.

The line "And time can not erase" feels a little lopsided rhythm-wise, since it's only six syllables as opposed to your usual seven and the meter is a little off. I realize that you use six-syllable opening lines a bunch of different times within the poem, but this one sticks out to me for some reason. I can't really justify your changing it, but I thought I'd just point it out.

Personally, I think it just looks better for the word "cannot" to be one word. If there's a space between the "can" and the "not" it makes it feel a little strange because you have to wait that milisecond for your brain to process the negation, so I always think it's stronger to use "cannot" whenever possible. That's just a personal preference thing, though. Same goes for "without." I think it's just because I'm so used to seeing them as compound words that it becomes strange to see them apart.

To me, the lines: "and ere I'd be/bereft of you,/of needs I'd taste foxglove!" are the most powerful lines in the poem, but sadly right now I think they're also the weakest because it's the hardest to get at your meaning there. It think it's just the wording that's confusing, though, and that's easy enough to fix. "Of needs I'd taste foxglove" sounds strange and doesn't make a lot of sense on its own, although I see what you're trying to do: "before you'd die I'd poison myself because I can't live without you." Might I suggest that you replace "of needs" with "I'd must needs taste foxglove"? "Must needs" is an old idiom that essentially means "must necessarily" and it implies that something is incredibly necessary. I think it would fit your purposes and style quite well, while simultaneously clearing up the line. Hurrah!

I'm a stickler for this, but the line: "I'll sing forever praise!" sounds hollow to me just because of the diction -it feels to me like you came up with the line solely for the sake of the rhyme scheme (even though it DOES for what you're saying quite well and I can see where it makes sense). The inversion of words just doesn't ring true to me in this case because it doesn't really make any grammatical sense - it would be so much easier to say "I'll sing praises forever," except that wouldn't fit your rhyme scheme. What about "Forever I'll sing praise?" Still not 100% perfect, but it makes a little more grammatical sense, at least.

I also think the poem is a little over-punctuated; you pretty consistently have a comma after most of the lines in your stanzas, and the commas aren't always necessary. I would recommend freeing it up a little by revising the punctuation - which poems do you need and which don't you need? I think it would give the work a much freer feel.

Wow, that was long. Please don't be disheartened by my long string of critiques - most of them are very minor spelling and grammar things which are very simple to fix. Nothing at all in your general scheme was the least bit out of place, so only a few specific lines require reworking. All in all, this is a fantastic piece; just the way a love poem should be written: interesting, original, well-worded, passionate and clever. All of your strengths were clearly combined in this, and you did a fantastic job. It takes a lot for something to get onto my favorites list, but this clearly makes the grade. Well done!

[Helena]

(Sigh)...Oh Simply stunning poetic excellence dear poet! We have a new "Bard" here
at Albert's it seems!

Pen on, your talent is awesome Rick.

Helena

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

A very beautiful poem to the one you love!

[Donna DeLong Matthews a..]

Rick I dont know how I missed this one
It is O U T S T A N D I N G... I totally
loved it. I hung on every word...
You really touched my heart with this.

Hugs
Donna

[Poetic Pieces]

Though, a sweet piece this may be, it feels almost as though it were written by a scientist.
I do not know how to explain this but it feels too scientific, robotic, like you need need to just let loose a little.

Beautiful write, just don't be afraid to color outside the lines once in a while, ok?

-~-Bells

[Brianna Brie]

What an awesome introduction to your work. How in the world did I miss finding your page before now. The deep expression of love is beautifully penned in this poem. It has a flawless flow. Well done!

[RareRed]

Thank you for entering this in my contest. This is what I'm looking for. Word showing where love has been found, the strength of love. I enjoyed reading this!

[Laura E. Aranda]

I HAD something to say but I think Emily Rose pretty much covered it all! HA! Cheers to you. It was beautiful.Lea

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Creative work. The refence to Digitalis purpurea, also known as foxglove or lady's glove is interesting, it is for healing the heart to much can be fatal. Just as love is, a little can make love your heart strong, too much can smoother the hearst and turn ugly which in turn can kill the love.

Your words, flow beautifully and the passion could be felt.

[Pauline Marie Daley]

Such a beautiful tribute to true love. And I'll leave it at that. :-)

[The Autumn Faerie]

Awwww!
Such a sweet tale you weave!
Perhaps love will beckon at my doorstep some day, but if not, I shan't be at loss.
(Though, this piece makes question my perception on the matter...)

(Now, on to Raye's tips of improvement! ^.^)
I'm not entirely sure if each line is supposed to have a certain number of syllables depending on its line in the stanza or not, but if they are, then there are some that are off here and there. (If I'm analyzing the format too much, just smack me. lol.) Oh, and there's one stanza that doesn't follow the rhyme scheme that you have the others set in. I'm sure you can find it now that I've pointed it out.

I also noticed that in your lines, you used "can not." I suppose, it's not incorrect, but it would read much smoother were you to place them together as "cannot". Usually, can and not are only separated when they are to be read separate in a structure such as, "You can not only read, but you can write!"

In some places, being the comma fiend that I am, I would put put commas. Such as, "Oh, thank thee, holy spirits, for blessing all my days!" (Because you're thanking them, the holy spirits. Were it to read "you", rather than "thee", I'd recommend the same.) I'd also put a comma in after "forever" in the second to last stanza, and after "to me" in the last stanza. There are other places, too, like after conjunctions at the beginning of the sentence like "And so," and such.

I think that's all the advice I have to offer on this piece at the moment. I feel some if it could be spiced up a bit, but if you're keeping with a certain scheme, that's rather hard to do.

A very heartfelt piece you've got here, nonetheless!

Always,
Raye