REMOTE CONTROL

A Story by R. A. Merritt

Dealing with a overbearing spouse and her equally irritating mother. A tale of a man who wants to escape.

REMOTE CONTROL

By R. A. Merritt

He could conceive of no greater, or should I say worse, burden for a man to have to endure than shopping with two women, especially two women he detested beyond all comprehension. And it was even more distressing that they were both so obese that it caused many who might be witness to their manifestation to regard them as one might two pachyderms they had encountered on a street corner where one would certainly not expect to come upon two such behemoths.

Certainly in these times when many Americans are tipping the scale to a greater degree meeting someone who exceeds what might be considered a healthy size isn't a rare event, however in the case of Elaine and her mother Myra it was an experience one would wish to immediately purge from their memory for these two women were not only massive in size their rudeness was rotund in the extreme as well and they carried themselves as if privileged personages; as if Dames of the English realm.

If they had conducted themselves with even a modicum of courtesy towards others they may not have provoked such negative reactions, but this was not the case. Instead they were obstinate creatures who were quick to let others know that they felt they were somehow deserving of such deference bullying those whom might get in their way usually with harsh comments and forcing them to move aside to accommodate their bulk. Indeed it was as if they believed their voluminous dimensions in some way warranted their pre-eminence in any venue. They had not

one whit of Christmas cheer and so this venture out into public saw no smiles or greetings by them to any they met. And you might know that it was because of such behavior as this that they no longer had friends as they did when they were first married and Elaine was remarkably pretty and svelte.

At one time her mother was supposed to have been the same size and to have been her equal in beauty, but this was incomprehensible to Ralph because the entire time he had known the woman she was the size of a small building. He guessed this was the way they had lured men to their side, Myra his father-in-law, now to his good fortune long dead, and he to Elaine.

He had realized that Elaine was somewhat shrewish when he married her, a character trait he supposed she inherited from Myra, but he did not think she would grow so domineering over the course of their matrimony that he would come to hate her to her very core. At one time he had been a forceful and exacting man. Anyone who had known him the years before his marriage to Elaine could never have predicted that he would become what he now was. He had become a Milquetoast. And eventually he came to find himself doing what Thurber's Walter Mitty was always doing escaping into some fantasy world to gain a measure of self respect and freedom from his wife and her equally infuriating mother.

But this was the reality of it, fifteen years of wedded purgatory had drawn him down into a shell of a man who often smiled when such was not his desire, or agreed to something he was completely opposed to.

Yes he had been a forceful man, but when it came to domestic squabbles he was one to try and get along. It had been true in his own family before he ever met Elaine and so he had carried that need for familial harmony into his own marriage.

His own parents had battled royally when he was a youth, and having no siblings he became not only an object

of contention but the referee as well at a very early age. He was the umpire if you will who had no choice but to inject himself into each confrontation taking on greater responsibility as he matured. He came to conclude that each one of them had possessed a stubbornest that would not allow for compromise. And so he had vowed to himself that once he escaped the confines of his parent's home that he would never be so petty when he took a bride.

His parents were both committed Catholics and thus they would never divorce. So he dedicated himself to have a harmonious relationship. He came to believe in order to have this that one party in a marriage must take on a passive quality to maintain the relationship and perhaps suffer in silence if only to avoid conflict.

He had thus over the years allowed Elaine to make most of the major decisions in their life together regardless the issue that had come up. Little did he know however that over the course of the years she would grow increasingly imperious, disregarding any input he might have as regards anything in their lives.

At first she would at least consult with him. And though she would most often immediately defeat his idea as impractical or unworkable he at least felt he was a party to the decision making process. And as her human profundity increased so too did her fleshy dimensions.

They say you can look at a woman's mother and predict how she will turn out and he had to concede that it was probably true, but he had not considered that fact early in their marriage though he could readily see how abhorrent Myra was.

Then came the day that Elaine's father Roscoe died. It was decided that day of grief that Myra would come and live with them. He had no comment of course, it was all Elaine's decision. He really didn't understand why she

wanted to do this either because despite their similar approach to the world in general they were as is usually the case in people such as they, his parents being the prototypes of those so disposed, not the least bit compatible with each other. He hated the arrangement of course for now he utterly despised both women.

It would have done him no good to object, however and if he had done so he would have suffered twofold. And so he kept his mouth shut.

He guessed Roscoe was looking down on him and grieving for his poor soul instead of vice versa. Roscoe had gotten away from Myra and it had been a small price to pay.

The only consolation Ralph got out of the deal was that now both women spent the majority of their time bickering with each other allowing him a welcomed respite from Elaine's unrelenting nagging. But soon enough he would have to deal with both of them as he had his parents. Long ago he had learned to sheepishly smile and agree with whatever his wife was on to him about and so when Myra came into the picture he tried to incorporate his dealings with his wife with the same sense of deference. But this dual diplomatic approach, trying if you will to view the disagreement from each's point of view was often unsuccessful.

They did not appreciate his tact and so it seemed would inevitably ally themselves to each other and thus demean him for being such a goddamn diplomat. But he knew well what would happen should he take a determined stand on any matter. It would be pure misery, far worse than what his tact would bring him. And so he would let their criticism of his diplomacy run its course until they found some new dispute to harangue each other about.

Today was no exception. They waddled into the mall like the beasts they were endlessly arguing over some

minor disagreement with him bringing up the rear like the unassuming sycophant that he had become. The debate at present concerned what type of television they were going to purchase. He had not been consulted as usual, his only contribution was that he was the one who'd pay for the item.

Elaine had long ago abandoned the notion of working saying with great aplomb that she was a housewife and her job was in the home. But this was an unabashed lie because all he had ever seen her or her mother for that matter, do at home, was to occupy a position in a comfortable chair and watch soap operas whilst endlessly feeding their faces with a well stocked larder. They had no children and for that Ralph was grateful.

The television was getting on in years and two days ago it had at last conked out for good. When he arrived home that Friday Elaine and her mother both announced that come the next morning they were all headed for the mall to purchase a fine new one. this was one of the few occasions that would draw either of them away from home and Ralph did not look forward to this public sojourn for nary one of them possessed any semblance of social skills.

It wasn't as if Elaine had never had any, truth was when he first met her at the wedding of a mutual friend she had acted as if she had been tutored in such niceties by none other than an authentic Ms. Manners. But it seemed once she was in close proximity of her mother all such attributes would flee her like a wind had come and swirled them away.

It was indeed a paradox to Ralph and he could only deduce that it was the result of some inferior genetic makeup he would never be able to comprehend. And somewhat later he came to hear in passing from some that were familiar with his wife's family, and indeed sympathetic to his plight, that the same held for Myra.

They were polar opposites in almost everything save but for their temperaments and affection for food, and so it seemed eternal twins resolved to be a thorn in each other's and his side unto his death. Those unaware of his deep Catholic commitment did not understand why he did not divorce her. And the truth of the matter he really was afraid to, afraid of both of them and what might befall him should he attempt to defy conviction and sever the bond. But of course he would never admit to such an unmanly frame of mind. And so everyone even remotely aware of his situation chalked it up to his deep religiosity despite how terrible his marriage was. Yet sometimes in the most secret of conversations they might reveal that they thought he was a spineless fool. And it was so.

Elaine and Myra trundled ahead of him like Panzers creating a bridgehead at the Battle of the Bulge. The mall was very crowded with last minute shoppers and the two women would breach any tight gathering of patrons with little concern that they were sometimes separating mothers from children, husbands from wives.

Most of the people just tried to ignore them but sometimes there was a derisive comment. The two titans most often themselves ignored this, but if what was said truly upset them they would come in retort with a blasphemy that would make those who had wronged them to turn in disgust. And now someone made a remark concerning livestock being allowed into the mall. Momentarily Elaine stopped and looked at him with disdain.

"Would you please inform the next man that says anything whatsoever out of the way to mother and me that you are going to punch him in the nose!"

"Yes dear." He said with a monotone befitting a eunuch.

"What's he gonna hit them in the nose with your purse?" Myra asked cackling like a fat hen. Elaine let out a little

giggle, scrunched up her face and then turned to her malicious mother. "Mother please don't say such horrid things about Ralphie--he hasn't carried my purse in years." She said with great solemnity, which was quickly followed by more giggling. They then began to laugh in unison.

The worse of it was they weren't making these statements in such conversational tones that the other shoppers couldn't hear them, indeed they were talking quite loud, so much so that anybody and everybody close by might hear them. Some of those people stopped and looked at him with pity and contempt at the same time.

"God oh God let me get through this--let them make a quick decision so we can get out of here without my total emasculation?" It was a wasted prayer for he had long ago crossed that threshold.

Both women continued to laugh as if they were a vaudeville duo exchanging the part of straight man. And Ralph continued to follow along behind them their reluctant audience and the brunt of their abuse. Eventually they were standing at the broad entrance of the Sears store. The two women were again debating what brand of television that they intended to purchase in the aforementioned establishment. The crux of the dispute seemed to center on the nationality of the television they were to purchase, whether it would be a Japanese or American model.

Myra seemed mired in the recent past convinced that the Orientals made the best electronics. Elaine on the other hand was equally convinced the United States at present had the better products. She prefaced her conclusion with the statement that she thought this was because all the American manufacturers of such goods were now dragging every educated person in the Third World over here to displace any Americans left with any ambition.

Elaine's estimation of the situation was preposterous of course, but Ralph decided against enlightening her to the fact that no televisions were now even made in the USA regardless the fact that they may be sporting an American label. As long as some part of the mechanism was assembled in the country the corporate bandits could slap a MADE IN AMERICA sticker on it and the consumer was none of the wiser. And the assembly could even take place in one of the Pacific territories that was an American Protectorate and qualify for the designation. The residents of these places may have had the comfort of the nation's protection, but few could invoke American labor laws to guarantee they would earn much more than laborers in the Third World.

At last they were ready to go having resolved their impasse settling upon an American product. What finally convinced Myra, more than anything else, was her daughter's reminder that the credit card that would be used to buy the product was presently residing in Ralph's wallet. And soon enough the two women loomed above him on the escalator en-route to the Appliance & Electronics Department on the second floor of the massive store. Their combined weight seemed to cause the rising steps to strain under the burden of their passage and perceptively slow down.

After a minute they left the rolling stairs looking like a pair of sumo wrestlers in drag with their mild attendant Ralph close behind. They made their way across the department avoiding the various appliances and electronic gadgets as they went affording these inanimate objects far greater courtesy than any human they had encountered thus far.

They pushed on at a slow pace not so much dictated by their size, but more so because they each had a ready observation about each item they saw. The ubiquitous Christmas music that every department store played at this

time of the year and which they had been complaining about the whole of their transit through the building now seemingly grew even louder driving them to near distraction.

Now a man attired in a fashionable blue pinstriped suit and having a red carnation pinned to his lapel soon caught their eye. He was an impressive looking gentleman and for the first time in the longest while another human being struck the two of them silent. The man reminded Ralph of the floorwalker Mr. Peacock on the ole BBC comedy show "Are You Being Served?"

In appearance the elegant gentleman seemed to be the stereotype of a manager from some long ago era. This image was further enhanced by the fact that he wore a pince-nez on a long silk ribbon. He had a receding hairline and a pencil thin black mustache that reminded Ralph of old movies from the 30s and 40s.

There was an air of officiousness about the man, of one who was in charge and the two women approached him convinced that he was indeed someone in authority. Elaine and Myra seemed near humbled by the obvious hubris of the man. They were conducting themselves as if they were mere beggars with hat in hand summoning some gentleman to show them some philanthropic courtesy. Momentarily Elaine cleared her throat catching the man's attention.

He lifted his pince-nez to the bridge of his nose and peered down at the two women like some pompous member of the House of Lords. He then raised his eyebrows inquisitively awaiting a response from the two large creatures. "Excuse me sir, but mother and I were wondering if you could assist us?" She said. "Yes madam how may I be of service?" He asked.

It seemed like the Christmas music grew even more loud now and it was making it difficult for the two of them to hear. "I wish--no we wish you could do something about this infernal music for one thing!" Elaine said in obvious frustration.

"Why my dear you do realize it is the Christmas season don't you?" The gentleman asked with a condescending smile. "We don't celebrate Christmas sir, it's a ridiculous waste of money!" Myra now chimed in.

The immaculate man's smile appeared to grow even wider. He then pulled his white silk handkerchief from his breast pocket and swept it into the air with a dramatic flourish. "I quite agree ladies, but you won't quote me will you?" He said with a near whisper a mischievous smile on his face as he began polishing the glass of the eye piece with the cloth.

"And yet I'd wager you wouldn't consider it a waste if a purchase is made for your holiday benefit? Am I right dear ladies?" He now asked them as he returned the length of silk back to his pocket.

They shook their collective heads with a hint of embarrassment. The two women continued to smile so very taken with the man's perceptiveness. And then they realized to their delight that the Christmas music had stopped. It had ceased the moment the dapper gentleman had flicked his handkerchief into the air.

And now the two women were acting like a couple of school girls they were so impressed by the attention the man was showing them. He then folded his arms and stood before the two of them. "Now what could I get for you two fine ladies?" He asked them. They looked at each other and were filled with joy. Elaine gently touched his forearm.

"Yes....ah....ah mister ah...." She stuttered.

"Warlock madam--Desmond Warlock at your service." He said with a wide smile.

Warlock--Peacock, maybe he was a floorwalker. All that was missing was the ponderous British accent. "Yes

Desmond we need a tv, a good American tv, price is no obstacle." She said turning to Ralph. In mere seconds her face had transformed itself from a girlish smile to that of an oppressive hippo. "Isn't that right Ralph?" She snapped at her husband.

"Yes dear." He responded in his usual manner.

Desmond Warlock looked at him with the requisite pity. He seemed to by studying him curious as to how a man could come to such a station in life. Now he looked back to the two women. "Well now you ladies appear to have made up your minds, but I wonder if the gentleman here has any specific model in mind?" He looked once again at Ralph as if offering him an opportunity to display the faintest amount of testosterone. The women gave him another contemptuous stare. "He has no opinion, unless I tell him what it is!" Elaine said as she looked away at the array of televisions on offer in a nearby section of the department.

Soon she was pointing out just the model she had in mind. Elaine and her mother then pushed off toward that area followed closely by Desmond Warlock and husband Ralph.

Ralph now realized that Mr. Warlock had slowed his pace so that he was walking abreast of him. He tilted his head toward Ralph and speaking in a near whisper said.

"Ralph is it?" He asked. Ralph nodded his head slowly like an abused dog.

"I feel for you Ralph, no man should have to take such abuse from such harpies. Tell me something would you be agreeable if I were to offer you a solution to your problem?" He now asked. Ralph abruptly halted.

He had no idea what this man was suggesting and wasn't certain that this wasn't something the two women had cooked up as a test of his loyalty.

"What are you talking about Mr. Warlock?" He asked quietly.

"Just what I propose Ralph, a solution to your problem. Would you take the chance to be free of those wretched creatures if it was offered to you?" He asked in all seriousness.

Ralph could see that he was sincere. "Yes--yes of course I would." He at last confessed. After a brief pause he asked. "How--how could it be done?" And then before he got a response from the strange well-dressed gentleman he added.

"Why--why would you want to help me?" He now asked.

"Because sir I thoroughly dislike such harridans and am always looking for any opportunity to liberate society from them. I have no other motivation than that." He said. But Ralph suspected that he had at one time had such a woman in his life and was motivated by the hatred he had developed for her whomsoever she was.

"How--how would you rid me of them?" Ralph then asked him.

"You will know soon enough my friend." Warlock said to him as they came upon his wife and mother-in-law. The women were busily tinkering with a large screen tv that was encased in a cabinet of highly polished dark wood.

"You've made an excellent choice ladies this is our most popular model and as American as the proverbial apple pie." Warlock said to them. Then he went into a seemingly prepared spiel that he no doubt gave to all his customers.

He didn't need to convince the two women. Elaine ordered Ralph to pay for it immediately. Ralph came forward as commanded and withdrew his wallet. Then after profusely thanking the debonair Mr. Warlock the two women excused themselves and departed the department for the first floor in search of the ladies room.

Ralph remained behind to consummate the deal with Mr. Warlock. He handed him the credit card and the man

quickly moved off to the cash register and swiped the card. After awhile he returned to where Ralph was and after signing the store's copy handed him his copy of the receipt. But now he said nothing more about the proposal he had made to Ralph.

Ralph then began to think the man had been playing him for a sucker to get the sell and was probably having a good laugh to boot. He didn't know what to do, whether he should press the issue with Warlock or what. "Please pickup your set at the service entrance." Warlock at last told him.

Ralph hesitated for a moment waiting for Warlock to say something else, but when it appeared he wasn't he reluctantly headed for the escalator. He'd gone but a few feet when Warlock called out to him. "Use the remote control well Ralph, use it correctly and you will be free." He said with a strangely frightening smile. Ralph didn't understand that, he didn't understand that at all. Now he looked at the receipt that Warlock had handed him and noticed it was blank. That was certainly strange for he had most definitely signed the store's copy.

He then looked back to where Warlock was and saw that strangely enough he was no longer there. He couldn't have disappeared that quickly he thought.

He scanned about the store but Mr. Warlock was nowhere in sight. It was as if he hadn't really been there at all. Then he noticed something else; the Christmas music was again playing over the store's sound system.

Once he found Elaine and her mother they all made their way to the parking lot and got into the station wagon. Ralph drove to the service entrance where a rather grotesque little man with a small bulge on his back sat with a large cardboard case.

Once Ralph disembarked from the station wagon the little man hustled over to him like some ogre involved in a conspiracy. "Are you Ralph?" The ugly man asked.

Ralph nodded. "Here for the television?" Again Ralph nodded.

"Good--good Mr. Warlock hopes you enjoy it and put it to good use if you know what I mean?" Said the odd little man with a sniveling laugh. Ralph wondered if the ugly hunchback was continuing the farce. The man then went over behind the large package and bent over it getting a good grip. Then he leaned it back toward him taking its entire weight onto the dolly that he had used to bring it out of the store. He then maneuvered it over to the rear of the station wagon whose rear door was swung open.

Ralph offered to assist the little man with getting it into the car, but he said it was unnecessary and then with an astonishing prowess lifted it off of the dolly and on into the automobile as easy as you please. He had deceptive strength to be sure.

Now the little man withdrew a smaller package from the rear pocket of his Sears cover-alls. He handed it to Ralph. "This is your remote--Mr. Warlock suggests that once you get the television set up you use the red button when the ladies are between you and the television.

"What will happen?" Ralph asked him, as he nervously looked into the car worried that the women might hear their whispered conversation or at least grow suspicious of what they were talking about.

"Do as Mr. Warlock says and your problem will be solved that is all I can say." The little man said. He now turned about and pulled the dolly back onto the walkway of the store.

Ralph was afraid it was all just a hoax, that he would never be free of these wanton women. He prayed that what the two strange men had told him was real. And then he thought. "What if it is real? Will I be in any danger, what will happen?"

"Please--please sir tell me something will you?" He asked the retreating hunchback.

The little man turned about and eyed him with a snake like smile.

"Yes Ralph what is it?" He asked.

"Will there be any consequences?" He asked. The little man began to laugh again, a fearful eerie laugh it was. Once he was done he looked at Ralph with an accusing eye.

"There are always consequences Ralph, with every choice we make there are always consequences." He said and then he seemed to fade from sight right before's Ralph's eyes. Ralph rubbed his eyes--was he hallucinating; was he losing his mind?

Ralph and the two women then returned home. The whole of the journey Ralph pondered the encounter with Mr. Warlock and the strange hunchback. He didn't know what to think now, what it all had meant, whether he was imagining it all or whether it was all some kind of a game. Eventually he came to the conclusion that it was all an elaborate hoax and he felt like a complete fool.

Once they arrived home he recruited his neighbor Howard Terwilliger to assist him in getting the new set into the house. When they were done Howard left immediately not wishing to be in the presence of the two women for very long for like most people he detested them.

Ralph got the television out of its container with some effort and then after following the instructions had it prepared for use. That was simple enough since the set was cable ready and required merely connecting some wires.

The instructions for the remote were easily understandable, but oddly enough there was nothing in reference to the red button in the thing. Once Elaine punched it a notation flashed across the black screen in neat white block letters saying. THIS CHANNEL CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE. All the other buttons worked just fine and so Elaine

decided they would wait until the coming Monday to give Sears a call to ask about the red button. Despite the quandary this had caused them the two women soon settled into a marathon session of watching all their favorite programs that came on each Saturday.

Ralph had been disappointed when the screen remained dark as the words had marched across it once the red button had been pressed. This seemed to indicate that the mysterious Mr. Warlock and his hunchback associate had indeed been teasing him. He had to admit however the red button had not been manipulated as per their instructions with the women between him and the tv. He decided that he would get out of bed later when he was sure he would discover them asleep in front of the droning box. Then he would retrieve the remote control and give the red button another try with them between him and the contraption.

At three a.m. Sunday morning he awoke and slipped from his bed. He quickly dressed himself preparing to leave the room. He could hear the television in the living room, but no sound of the two women stirring about out there. Once he was in the living room he found them as expected asleep with some infomercial coming to a conclusion.

He spotted the remote on the table beside his wife's recliner. It sat amongst an array of empty potato chip bags and half-drunk soda cans. He picked it up and crept around behind her. He pointed it at her and pressed the red button.

There was no poof or sudden cloud of smoke as you might expect, but nevertheless just like magic Elaine and her recliner disappeared right before his eyes. It was a miraculous thing, a splendidly miraculous thing. The transfer he supposed was something akin to beaming someone's molecules as they had done on the old Star Trek series. the jolt evidently had been enough to awaken her for suddenly he heard her screaming as if she was some short distance

away.

Ralph looked at the large television screen and there she was with her recliner in the middle of a white space with nothing else around her but an endless expanse of whiteness. It was magic alright, some strange dark magic that sent her and her chair there.

She probably thought it was a nightmare, but after a moment or two she realized she wasn't asleep and that what had happened was oh so very real. Ralph began to laugh pointing at the screen mocking her predicament. It seemed that some camera was aimed at her in this otherworldly studio. At last Elaine began moving forward as if she had spotted the camera and could likewise see him. She was screaming at him on her approach demanding he do something to aid her.

Sneering he pressed the mute button on the remote and in that instant she was silenced by it. Her lips kept moving, but nothing whatsoever came out of the speakers. The commotion had by now roused Myra from her repose. She stirred in her own recliner and looked about in confusion. Realizing her daughter was absent she inquired after her and her chair.

Ralph grinned at her. "Why she's close Myra, closer than you'd think." He said. Myra was befuddled by his enigmatic smile. "What do you mean by that?" She asked him.

"Just as I said she's nearby--would you like to see her?" He asked. He was acting far differently than Myra had ever seen him act. She nodded her head now with no idea what to expect or what he meant. "Look at the tv." He said pointing at the set.

She did as he said and was astonished to see her daughter's face close up to the screen obviously calling out to her, but with no noise emanating from the thing. Myra was amazed to see such a thing and it drove her to silence.

She managed with some effort to get the chair upright and then to rise to her feet. She then moved toward the tv as if in a trance.

She said nothing to her son-in-law as she moved forward, mesmerized by the image of her daughter trapped as it were silently screaming at her.

Once she was there before the tv she bent down as best she could and placed a hand on the screen. "Elaine--Elaine what are you doing in there--how did you get in there?" She nervously asked. Her daughter began flailing about still silently screaming at her. At last she began pointing at her husband who had by now moved behind his mother-in-law. Myra now pressed the volume button below the screen. When she did Elaine's harsh voice now registered as if she was still in the room with the two of them.

"He did something--he did something!" She yelled pointing over her mother's shoulder at her elated husband. The older woman now turned to face Ralph.

"You--you b*****d--what--what did you do?" She demanded. He smiled deviously.

"Just this." He said pointing at her with the remote control and pressing the red button. And just like that Myra too was gone.

Almost two months later Detective Sergeant David Watson pulled into the Garrison driveway. He regretted the job that was at hand, but he had no alternative. He didn't like telling a victim's relatives that they were at a dead end on their case, but that was how things now stood in this case.

There was nothing else they could do. The investigation had gone this far with no solid leads and so the police deemed they could go no further with it. They would now direct it to the cold case file and would only revisit it if something came to their attention that shed new light on the matter.

It was indeed a very confusing case. Mr. Garrison it seems left for work on a Monday this past December only to return that afternoon and discover that his wife and her mother were missing. There was nothing, which indicated what may have become of the two women or if they had met with any foul play. the thing that caused the greatest consternation was the fact that both of the women weighed in excess of 250 pounds and yet no one had seen them. How could two women so large simply just vanish?

The authorities naturally suspected that they had met with some sort of foul play and Ralph as all men are in such circumstances was considered the prime suspect. That was further enhanced by the fact that a polygraph exam showed him to be deceptive. But nothing in the man's background indicated he was capable of doing any harm to the two women. If anything they found out that the man was totally controlled by the women. The results of the polygraph was of no use to the District Attorney anyway and the detectives came to believe Ralph Garrison had nothing to do with the women's disappearance although he had the greatest motive for getting rid of them. Sergeant Watson had in fact come to like the meek little man.

He could see how the absence of the women had been to his benefit. When he had first met him it was apparent he had been so put upon by them that they had turned him into a virtual servant. And Ralph freely admitted the negatives of his marriage and how he loved being rid of them, but he also said plenty of other people probably felt the same and he emphatically denied having anything to do with their disappearance.

He had been eager to take the polygraph exam and Watson felt this demonstrated his innocence without even considering that Ralph may have been aware that a polygraph is useless in a court of law and that any red flags

raised by them can easily be explained. Watson was somewhat ambivalent about the case not knowing if the information he was bringing Mr. Garrison was good or bad news. He went up to the door of the house and rang the bell.

Within a minute Ralph came to the door with a drink in his hand. He looked somewhat tipsy. Seeing Detective Watson he smiled broadly. "Hello Sergeant Watson how are you doing?" He asked. Watson smiled back at him.

"How are you doing Mr. Garrison--you seem to be in a good mood today?"

"I am--I am indeed Sergeant Watson." He said.

"Why's that?" Watson asked.

"Well come Monday it will have been two months since Elaine and her mother disappeared and I'm celebrating that fact." He freely admitted.

"I'm glad you're taking it so well." Watson said.

"Why shouldn't I, those women made my life miserable?" Ralph said leading the police detective into his house.

The place was still decorated for the Christmas holiday even though it was near March. A tall evergreen was in one corner of the room with numerous lights and other decorations on it. "Still celebrating the holiday are you?" Watson asked.

"Yes, yes this is the first year we've had a tree up--Elaine and her mother were of a mind that Christmas was a colossal waste of time. Oh they were Christians, but you know the kind of sour Christian who seem to want to put everybody in hell while they're still kicking?" He said.

Ralph now turned to him still smiling.

He lifted his glass of Jack Daniels and Coke as if he was about to offer a toast.

"A drink my dear Watson?" He offered as if he was Sherlock Holmes addressing his biographer. "No thank you sir I'm on duty, in fact I've come to tell you we can't continue pursuing this case with the same zeal. The truth is we'll have to put it on the back burner until we can come up with a new lead. Ralph drained his glass or spirits. "So be it." He said gregariously.

At that moment Watson's attention was drawn to the television and the very sexy young women who were writhing across the screen exposing their most intimate parts to an obviously horny young man and the pay per-view audience. Ralph saw this and remarked upon it. "Nice huh? Elaine and Myra would never have let me select such a program."

"I'm a bit beyond watching such fare as that, but I must admit the tv is very impressive--I'll bet it cost a pretty penny?" Watson then said. "Well worth it. We got it on the Saturday before Elaine and Myra disappeared. That was the only decision they ever made that I applaud." Ralph said as he headed to the side bar, which held an assortment of liquors and mixes.

He staggered a bit as he went there and Watson reminded him not to get out on the roads this evening. "Oh I wouldn't leave the house, my favorite show comes on tonight." He laughed mysteriously and then he said a very puzzling thing. "In fact it comes on every night. It's sad though because it's going to be canceled.

He lifted several cubes of ice from the ice bucket and they clinked into his glass. He then poured himself another double. "Yeah I'm gonna hate to see it go it's such a great show." He added with an odd smile knowing full well he meant the two women were verging on death. Once he was done he turned once more to the detective.

The cop was standing there with the remote control in his hand. Normally Ralph kept it with him at all times to prevent anyone who may have called upon him from fidgeting with it and possibly pressing the red button and

thereby discovering his secret. When he was alone he liked to press the red button and watch those two fat heifers as they slowly died from thirst and starvation.

Over the time they had been gone he had sent them meager amounts of food and water lessening the offer each day. He did so just to keep them live long enough to watch them plead with him to show them some mercy. Show them mercy when they had never granted him any. He took great delight in denying them. Lately however he'd only sent a sprinkling of water and the past several days no food at all. He suspected that real soon they would die from starvation.

It was a great thrill to watch them wasting away and pure poetic justice as he saw it. Hurrah for all the Walter Mitty's of the world! The cop was studying the remote closely as if trying to deduce how it worked.

"Never seen one like this." He was saying.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Ralph shouted as he headed for the cop. But just as he arrived there between Detective Watson and the tv the policeman curiously pressed the red button.

Ralph's last words seemed to fade into the near distance. Watson looked up to ask why he shouldn't touch the device. What he saw then was unbelievable. It was horrible beyond description.

Two crazed, emaciated women whose loose skin hung from them like that of a hound had seized Ralph Garrison and were viciously tearing him apart. They were using their long curved fingernails and were also gnawing on his flesh obviously having been driven mad with hunger. Their clothing had rotted off exposing their obscene bodies. It was quite apparent they had lingered long in that strange white space. But it was no longer an immaculate place for it was strewn with their decayed clothing and bodily waste.

Watson looked down at the remote control at last realizing that it was responsible for what he was witnessing. The screams of Ralph Garrison were so bloodcurdling and horrible that the detective found he had to press the mute button to escape the sound of it. He at last was so completely disgusted by it all that he dropped the remote to the floor and fled from the house.

And so, as Ralph Garrison was silently being consumed alive by the two starving women he had exiled to that strange studio somewhere in the expanse of the airwaves he vividly recalled the words of the hunchback that had worked with Warlock. "There are always consequences." He had said and now Ralph well knew what he had meant by that.

THE END

Author's Note

This is a revision of a story I wrote some time back having grow weary with the commercialism of Christmas. Though I celebrate the holidays I'm not in the least
a religious person.